The best way to handle the hate website crisis and voices, would be to continue to improve and not get stuck fighting with voices, not let my life be ruined by rumor, voices, fighting, or self-harm.

I will continue to stay committed to my sobriety, after so many delays to get well enough to blog everyday, it will continue to not be easy to stay well day to day, and Im sure all my conversations, emails, and writing is being used to judge me, or can be used against me, and that’s not a fight Im trying to fight, or have the money and cannot afford lawsuit or representation, is what a job is for.

So in the end, if its bit by bit, stuff not liked, what I can tell, what others can see, allow that to be up to whoever to decide what wellness is or what is a fair address to “voices” after a fire, that shows some dedication or commitment to wellness, demonstrated by attending a meeting on Saturday, and completing Steps 1-4 today, and finish doing all 12 steps and can submit that paperwork to court or signify continued sobriety, is not going to take 7 months of treatment, or 2 weeks of hospitalization, or a year or more than a day, to get to being well and staying well, that’s what improvement is for.

And maybe that’s how life works, you’re around for however you can stay online, I have never experienced threat or bad emails, or death threats, or any kind of bullying in life period. I have never been bullied in my entire life, on a serious note, nothing reportable to the public, or to entice voices, or misuse story as a knowing of me, telling of whats to come, as though Im a pattern or a repeated system of fault or sickness that can be predetermined, or navigated or controlled by just anyone, is nothing that I can afford to suffer in life, nothing I would change about my writing or what Ive said well, and clearly no phase in upset as hateful words are spewed at me and continue on to this day, like today that I can offer any scientific or psychiatric evaluation or legal analysis to explain for a condition that no one knows how to cure, to which no medications work to prevent.

So accept the limitations, either I live with voices and continue to write online and share, or I go to to a hospital to stop voices, so I cannot her voices and get silence. It means whatever you think life means or whatever connections foul in life, to justify accusing me of carrying a disease I don’t have which has since been changed the diagnosis of schizophrenia.

I think its clear when a hate website happened I was supposed by two doctors Udell and Fogelson, who did not take him seriously, and she told me that he’s an a$$hole and no one stressed me over it, even my Mom was supportive of me and every discouraged communication with men, and specifically him, not being ready or in a stable place for any intimacy, it’s my life and now I have a heart condition, which means Im not cold, or violent, or scary, or hurting anyone, harming myself, or disgusting, I stopped having sex 2014, its no ones business whats gone wrong for me, I tried to be open it gets used to create rumor and call me dirty, or loser, or slut, or stupid, or not to be loved, or respected, and that type of behavior toward a woman like me serves whatever purpose is served, by doing that to me, Im not questioning whether or not I was raped, or later coming to terms with doing my best to get the hate website down on my own, not the person who is the joke, or seriously injured, or desperate or crying for no reason, having endured bullying, and maybe life improved and code improved that this persons observance of life, made him nice to me and take the website down, what cant be taken back are all the post Ive written on the use of hurtful terms, and its unclear as to what is required of me to explain or detail anything occurring over a 12 year period, is no ones business, to call me sick or accuse me of not working hard finishing my masters degree. Maybe my life will never be good enough to be famous, or now be in a magazine recognized, based on whatever is being used to to threaten lawsuit or scare me, is whatever conversation anyones reading, or whatever circumstance is being  created to delete anything, what I deleted was what was said when I was made to feel sick and mentally ill fighting voices, its no ones business what I said, I keep a record of everything I post, and no Im not going to delete my messenger or conversations, or be accused of false politics period, and can mention Hillary Clinton as many times as possible as you want to knock me over the head and humiliate me question my story or my reports, is not a forecasting of anything bad to come, and an elimination of me is not how life thrives putting me down in life.