We have tried all solutions to address concerns supported, in treatment at home, with jobs, no jobs, stable, not stable, sober, in therapy, not self harming, not blogging, following advices, did not end up some place worse or someone who you constantly accuse of showing up places or speaking improper, have a noticeable disability you expect me to perform through or appear a certain way, ever a time to judge how support is rendered any moment I am help, I am not forgetful of hospitalizations, or not qualified to blog, in a role, better performed by a licensed therapist, creating an unsafe environment for anyone including myself, handling challenges in stride, Its never okay to judge life as having anything to do with my mental health on meds, or taken off meds, require needing to be told when well or sober Im sick, or accuse any writing as offensive or forgetful, Im not refusing medical care a person who goes to the ER disclosing everything I can possibly say in the moment not failing to inform or a being sent home about now Im not a 5150 or then I was, about speaking proper, versus not being able to speak, avoidant or ashamed of disability, doing my best, have recovered do not need to be sent so far down in life, experience dysfunction or be blamed, for whether or not Im following advices, on meds, being taken off meds, something wrong, critical or dishonest of medical care, ever in a place I act like I know better or deserve meds that later voices or some circumstance in life requires me to write or blog or tweet or go through long periods of instability working hard not ready, losing wellness, to times Im reached out to, people who check on me who did not hurt me, but by rumor, were used to accuse me of dating outside of my league or not proud of who I am, have unexplained immaturity or instability bothering anyone, or ever a person not careful or provide a timely description a person who is treated who is nice to everyone once incapable of making anyone look bad, not bothered by everyone else’s sense of peace, a person who is supported or recommendation not accepted as concerning its not about who has helped me and how long its taken to stay well, a place in life, lost to someone more deserving or a person you accuse of causing hardship or not belonging a person improving did my best to describe court to the best to the best of my ability not then or now just of yet a person who is worse off and also be a person describing everyone as nice and supportive, not the solution to get sick, or use therapy or words as advices or reports or emails or participation as “doing my best to not fight with voices,” and without being given meds, working hard to increase dosages, also not someone who is failing or suffering by voices, who doesn’t listen, my worst fear isn’t what look like or sound like or question the importance of being along, disempowering or at fault failing to protect people known as apart of my life, taking things the wrong way, or someone who blames others, expecting support or in places in life, less deserving of help. In every way I discussed court openly over the years, whats different about now, is hearing what the Judge had to say, being told Im not on a rigorous enough schedule a person who is pushed questioning care sensitive to stuff only I know or judging independent responsible professional caretakers in places in life or being helped working hard to not justify upsetting anyone or being kicked out, however life turns out is not in my control, is how quick life happens, to be judged by observation and while sharing those interactions fail to explain now or any loss period, Im also not the person working hard or giving up expected to just be treated as someone who is doing something wrong or combative again is not about what other people know or how they know what they know is not about me, on a level that everyone should be focused on themselves not be judged by the time, hurting me fails to make others feel better, insecurity or loss or appearance is judged as unwelcomed or interrupted, its not me who doesn’t belong, or person who has issues with confidence not changed because Im gay or a person who openly honest about love and modeled discontinue trying for things in life, based on self harm voices, isn’t about putting me so far down in life, critical of everything in short or deleted or kept clearly is not about my value or innocence or denying a system of voices existing that represent a cause is not to existing to accuse me of a person living life to the best of my ability transparent had experiences with multiple logins something I used to be able to tell, by not feeling well, then check, a solution to check and disconnect logins not a fear that coding school who equip me with skills to protect myself, denying access or someone not taken seriously offended again is not about me, by the time Im being put down, isn’t about my blog, a hate website, asking an investigator for help, a dishonest approach to life I failed to record in public everything I did to help mean now or after fires is ever a time to accuse me of having some ability you call “aftercare” or require me to stay well after book writing, sudden mishap or how life works identifying whats wrong or whos wrong, I think I worked hard, beyond that I don’t think living life off meds was good enough, failed to show an effort and demonstrated hard work work ethic that showed anyone or court with confidence that I was doing well or would stay well, is not a later discussion of blame, or experience of being helped, a program that reached out to me who I confided in later in a worse place couldn’t write ruining a rapport or use mental health as excuse to identifying what Ive done wrong or which meds are to blame. I did my best to not self-harm, Im not refusing medical care shamed or failing to report mental disturbance or being sent to the hospital whether I called or someone else called a photo taken not trying to offend to appear pathetic or disheartening or glamourize sickness or normalize hospitalization to serve a purpose for myself, a person that needs to hear voices requiring repeated disclosure that no writing earning lessening of voices or research paper is any benefit or wellness or non existing audience or level of care inappropriate. Im living sober, not self harm, keep track of my relapses, clearly did my 12 steps and still there was difficulty distrust, do my best to stay sober and discontinue talking to anyone in private think long and hard about life, what meds are for, whens a good time to be taken off meds, whens a good time to believe in myself, not view life as a preventable disaster with preferences for me to be disabled living a simple a life, explains no better a bad happening or court or an unhelpful concern for loss, about me dealing with a condition not caused by meds, not going away off meds, a person who needs helps, or requires a combinations of voices terms or self harm to diagnosed me as schizophrenic, a worsened state clearly outlining what was said the circumstance not victimizing anyone political or in a place safety wise to message with anyone, or in court with expectation for improvement need to keep track of what I share be made fun of for not knowing whats hurting me means whatever it means in life, whatever voices mean to you, whichever losses that have been addressed be me, doesn’t justify suddenly accusing me being suicidal for no reason or in a place I should be able to explain or a person helped, intending to disappoint or bother my community forgetful of accidental overdose fighting voices and reacting poorly taking a whole bottle, doesn’t mean to later identify me as guilty, a person who is failing politics, once loved, and not loved, or someone made fun of mistakes names or shares or vocalizes a caution to not interpret insensitivity based on any interpretation of life, period, someone who stopped caring, or mean, or affects everyone starts misusing sensitive subjects a person not taking responsibility for losses of people who represented the dream proud with families punished is not a loss I am later to be accused of not drinking in my apartment, the person offensive to the memory of people loved and fought for, no less of a human being or type of person so unworthy of attentions I did not call anyone a faggot first of all I said that men support one another, how me as a woman is treated not offensive to me too or masculinity or femininity critical of representation. Instead of reading my analysis of whats in common to being criticized for being accused of not knowing Im being charged or not aware of what I, being charged for, does not require me to be on meds, reprimanded for responding by saying “please stop rubbing it in my face” or lack an effort to stop him from heightening issues mean Ive done something wrong or cant handle being told where I am, or share a document that shares new information that no point in time public or on Instagram clearly did not fail to inform others, not believe an attorney, use the worse off excuse to say Im “mentally ill or offensive or mean or called out or losing or cant be forgiven or now losing with more examples of sounding mentally ill fighting voices, accuse the Judge or supporting someone by private conversation the person observed not improving or the person who call lesbian and schizoid wrongfully accuse me disclosing court, “the Judge is threatening trial” after having a job, my best effort to stay sober disclosed the Attorney General’s concerns, misusing trust or talking things the wrong way, I think by the time I misspeak whatever happens to me is a reflection of whatever makes any system happy which may not always include me be about my peace, and the number of times I say things proper, later use headings or words to accuse me of not being loving or having guy or womens issues, doesn’t mean Im combative or learn the hard way how a person with schizophrenia gets treated in life, clearly not fit to date, with a job, sober, or at a later point in time, self harming or not self harming, in court, complete court, someone complaining doing their best who suddenly is someone to accuse of speaking so wrong it bothers everyone, is not about me or what Ive said wrong as represented by others, watching life critical or disempowering need to connect could connect or in a place in place in life, that being alone, about figuring how to address voices, not force me to live some life, I get hurt like Im offensive change my story or court appearance to a level of awareness that I get accused of being unintelligent or someone who shows up not good enough cant tell myself whats wrong critical of a Judge’s observation, a person who reacts poorly to punishment or seriousness. Im sorry if for whatever reasons me ending up worse off is not the solution, to continue to be alone, not private communication justifies voices or requires deletion privacy or not, fire or not, timeline or not, we are past the point of “using voices to accuse me of disability” I cant identify or asking for help and actually being someone really not worth the help, someone choosing to be alone, responding proper to voices, not forgetful of a system of everyone in support of one another, not hurting life as it is, or trying to get away with anything, a return to normalcy, or two days off meds, back on meds, enough to call me stupid, be offended by me, I will never be able to keep up with reasons to give me voices, and there may never be a system good enough to protect wellness and sense of normalcy, or definition or understanding or limits, or later representations more telling of fault, the one example of the person not healed who doesn’t make it who you expect to be proud of everyone else, a person who’s reflection in life, is inappropriate or accuse me of being provocative offensive a person receiving death threats, who you accuse of not handling issues well, with disability, did her best to write arguments and can share again even if taken the wrong way. I just need to make sure Im in a place in life, not bothering anyones sense of normal, deal with voices, earn the right to be on meds, attend treatments go to court on January 30^th, and unclear how functioning now working towards solution is an observed wellness and effort worth putting the time and energy into believing in myself not worry others, or traumatize anyone, I didn’t even show photos, not anyone to not focus on myself, an insincere heartwarming approach to life on IMDB, not an unhelpful analysis of life, in a place in life, able to help others, that voices making fun of me, should not matter or affect anyone in politics, who I am sure is no more capable of handling disrespect or blames, or losing power a wonder in life, or high profile case now is not the time to bother women, or hurt me, or witness a rising to leadership an unfaithful effort to help others, a time to judge mishap as a telling of life or standard of wellness overall a likelihood or something bad happening to good people, you call common I think when you start analyzing train crashes and bad luck that’s for the department of transportation to look at life overall assess a situation or clearly outlined path to betterment.