I Would Never Work Hard to Live Life a Disability Threat or Make Light or Defend myself at anyone point in time even if demanded by City Attorney punishment of my live scan form or accuse me of lack of memory or non disclosure of avoidance or guilt or make fun of a confrontation in life I can’t solve and don’t need to work for anyone accusing me of not explaining a year in a life I’m not required to explain ….

I think instead of recognizing my mental health my innocence my information my skills my information or misunderstand me as someone sick of hurt or should know why or suffering has done something wrong accuse me of not doing good work is an explanation of a year in a life with demanded explanation and description over and over again in every combination or by any diagnosis or misjudge my recovery placement or focus as being somewhere I don’t belong with guilt sickness difficulties issues that are my own fault makes a discussion of 2008 irrelevant to punish me accuse me of mental illness or a poor example or explanation of suicide you continue to study as an easy story or requiring hospitalization a difficultly intelligence wise lifestyle wise or there being something wrong with me that meds or flushing meds combination of events creates a shocking crisis or loss anyone decides to forget 39 years of life and my entire 20s and 30s suddenly be 40 unclear of in every way I was respectful prayed took responsibility for suicide as what I’ve done wrong not to excuse ability or accuse me of living in a beautiful apartment I didn’t trash critical of how I’m helped isn’t how you teach me what 2009 is or determine there to be something wrong with me no one can help me with take adderall away make fun my trip to Vegas accuse me of being accusatory resentful poor or unpaid how you determine to not care about anything about my life for no writing or details study to be good enough a constant threat to use medical records diagnosis meds isolation story mental health blogger advocacy as mentally ill or suicidal or unhelpful or told I’m offensive and no one put me in jail accuse me of not helping or misusing courts or any system I discontinue talking to, I’m not imaging a worse reality or recall an experience locked in a hospital as ways to expose to destroy statements accuse me of being forgetful or an angry unhappy suicidal person self harming dragged down a hall have a condition I need to explain or is my fault or about a case or deposition or insensitivity or guilt met via my awareness make fun of my medical records or decide my medical history should explain something to court to prevent jail while no sense of peace or justice or certainty for things to improve based on me examples of ways in which I’ve been accused of being mentally ill and make fun of medical records or mischaracterize hospital or waking up some place else upsetting so I’m sorry you view “mental illness” as something that’s my fault affecting others then accuse me of losing people in life not loved places in life unfocused or loved inhibit anyone’s ability to move forward. It wasn’t the lawsuit that ruined my life made me fat give up or not look up cause me disability or meeting people being trusted doing my best supported or not good enough based on mental health again I’m not in control of being sick not knowing why or demonstrating improper medical presence and I’m so many ways it’s been made clear there is no expectation for support confrontation or question coordinated efforts to help me hospitalize me is any system or disability that makes me wrong at fault or offensive in the end you don’t know who knows you until everyone talks to you and takes your car away arrests you sends you away twice and expects you to return the blames sexuality or sisters presence a preference or caretaker role you have receive me as offended as to my place in life accuse me of approaching anyone. I’m not guilty or declare my work in private as offensive mentality ill or threat if its not safe to discuss life period on any basis job text self harm housing arrangement punishment return to life difficult or the one thing I’m doing well not strong enough to attend compared to others in the room make not belonging or anyone crying following me outside a meeting people who cared or accuse difficulty connecting or compliment or presence at my new meeting a part that informs of who I am to new people how my life is prevented use court or freeing OJ having anything to do with what’s wrong with me or what’s decided for me has nothing to do with being helped or viewed on TV in a hospital how I’m informed of news or make fun of disability being off meds as ways I should interpret I’m punished or don’t matter not good enough a lawsuit joke accuse me of mental illness not working hard being offline not blogging sober for years not issue insensitive unaware of a movie seen on TV Wolf of Wallstreet or how my entire story is changed to never talk to anyone for the rest of my life and not email anyone accuse me of causing difficulty or being punished to make other people feel strong mistake me as fraud or be insensitive to Twitter explanations by the world of importance representation readiness innocence beauty care deserving loving loveable is not about ways to accuse me of not being feminine push for criticism hats or weight loss decide to accuse me of not being cool let any bad soccer picture convince you I’m disgusting or have no friends a yearbook joke unfit or not social or decide for me to have no friends make fun of a reunion or exchange phone numbers accuse me of trying for things however it’s decided I’m nobody, I can’t explain voices or be accused of changing my own diagnosis or any system of knowing people or getting sick leaving additional excuses for how voices are caused that don’t exist that no record of self harm respected is about me suffering or seeing people from my life it takes a long time to talk to doing everything right to be sober not a bumble match readiness joke or job schedule joke disabled or old and don’t see the positive in my life as not happening how god works or the justice system or how prevention works or deciding for no one to care about me interfering with sources of empowerment or issues you decide to punish me harass me taunt me cause me to punch my head at no point in the upstairs room was anything good enough or experience respected or bad image the cause of making me look stupid inappropriate guilty or sexually offensive embarrassing to my own family make fun of my experiences or funeral attendance again it’s not about watching me watching others viewing me as sick mentally ill not a source of empowerment pride innocence or difficulty overcome doing what’s right mean my story is mismanaged told or known or discussed decide what my mental illness should be, I never was not fun of had a positive outlook grateful for connecting but let not story be fuel for making fun of my reactions what I’m told what’s genetic what makes me stupid or others feel stupid or look bad isn’t a game I don’t have to relive 12 years working hard be made fun of predicted hurt controlled insulted to interfere with anyone’s beliefs thoughts time attention to detail a person who can just change to mental illness dysfunction write well or write poorly get hurt than destroy all proof in the positive decide to use men to say I’m hurtful paranoid not deserving of any peace or moment of rest is not my choice my attitude my knowledge my awareness of gaslighting or ghosting or not talking to people a system of being some place worse embarrassing with apartments living alone.