Eventually God willing we reach a point of absolute isolation and separation create an indestructible space between me and everyone. Whoever I was I now understand is the person motivated to be destroyed and any moment of wellness or achievement a prompt to attack me, and that’s how pitiful life is in terms of staying well or who is excused viewed as human, versus accusing people of having a capability to commit harm. So whether the word is stated, fought, mentioned, with difficulty, or improvement, lets face the truth, voices were calling me pervert repeatedly, I stopped blogging and writing, and refused to punch my head, and decided to drink to not write before President Trump was shot.

What voices cannot accept is any truth Ive spoken to or ever been limited to sensing me or my humanity or careful of what I can withstand, its no longer about me innocently writing for everyone, like that’s some law school trait or suggestion, then on the other hand decide, to ruin my life, and call that human, or create excuses for hurt, never in my life did I think that loving or supporting anyone would cause lawsuit, never in my life would I work so hard to stay fit and lose weight or be punished over weight loss, because the shooter who shot Trump was a dietician, I don’t care what you speculate or what facts you study to know an intricacy of what code as it relates to life, humanity, God, or whos been harmed, or what popularity is for, I don’t think that voices have done the math in terms of whats being done to my life that cant be proven, to highlight a preferred belief that OJ killed Nicole Bown Simpson, and instill that belief in me, and punish me for being well, and create excuses for loving me or killing me and using OJ as a belief or motivation to commit a crime on me that cant be proven. In the end its nothing that Ive said, Im not the joke, Im publishing two books and I don’t care what comes out or what I am forced to disclose about life, or what I think or the correct order of punishments in life, all that I ask is to not study go through my Facebook, call me negative terminology or make up excuses using photos, no one who knows me would hurt me. Someone from Africa who when I wasn’t feeling well hit my head, couldn’t talk and told him that “Im not black” then he called me racist, a bitch and a moron. And decided to leave my Cedars Sinai psychiatrist who would not prescribe me repeatedly upset before I heard Matthew Perry’s story or drug used decided if they cannot prescribe me but I’m being treated at a facility that prescribes Ketamine that that’s too much association to connect to me for inference to accuse me of causing death like I’m cold or immune no big deal. And it would be a rumor to then bring up President Biden in Africa, or to continue to be harmed accusing me of saying the word “N” in support of Paco Jazz to accuse me of racism, its further intrusive and insulting to go through my conversations or picking up my sister from Cedars, before the President of Cedars announced retirement, to connect a conversation with Justice Sotomayor in private to a shooting of a CEO to a NY hospital, life doesn’t work that way or God, or crime for that matter. I don’t deserve voices, I don’t deserve to be punished, I was normal and graduated, I don’t deserve to be called schizophrenic, Im not responsible for the public’s anger and views on harassment, Im not responsible for anyone who hates me or uses me, to achieve their peace while destroying mine. I refuse to date or be compared or forced to be obese in defense of voices, who cannot accept the truth of not writing while on alcohol continue to pester me until I explode at work on email or drink and lose my job, as satisfaction to a side that cannot be proven at peace for their win in destroying me, overall if voices stopped taking everything from me, I didn’t hurt myself, those are not my voices, I refuse to discuss voices, I don’t have to write, Im taking everything to court on my own, I don’t owe voices anything, I don’t owe the people anything, and I don’t deserve lawsuit or illness.

Please Note: A serial killer once caught painted paintings of the women he killed to help identify his victims to police (was the voices delusion upon going missing sharing what I heard or remembered hearing women’s voices after a jail cell told me women were missing) (was the Shakespeare quote made) was when I stopped drawing or doing portraiture. (In honor of recent prevalence of rape and beatings homocide on women in public I offer this story as an example of being careful of my communications and expressed discontent to be referenced to connected or be accused of a serial killer making fun of me then ask him if he knew me did he see my website was he making fun of me before you call me sick inside or minded). That’s not a secret communication calling myself serial or homocidal or make Hitler racist theories on mass shootings crime racism or evolution there is no solution in harming me the punishment is not writing instead brainwashing me pretending like everything’s okay if I’m suffering or feel suicidal and no one knows why it’s not my humor that’s poor or perverted or not funny or true if you want me to call court from the valley I can continue to shout what I need to shout to stay alive and not be killed let harm continue.

Re: Bad Words

I’m sorry I said bad words that doesn’t help illustrate something positive to say about my life that doesn’t make me sound mean.