It’s almost been a month since I was hospitalized, and still recovering. I’ve been detoxing off of adderrall, and also not drinking, and starting to feel better. No voices! Finally get my peace and quiet, can just breathe and listen to silence, it’s been so peaceful and I am so grateful for my newfound sense of peace. It has taken a lot of support from family and friends, to make sure that I stay well, and continue to improve, not to mention a nudge from the Judge to attend, psychiatry and therapy weekly, to ensure that I’m on the road to recovery and taking meds as prescribed.

I would like to take this time, to also encourage all my readers to go easy on yourself. It’s been a rough few weeks, with concern looming over the LA Wildfires, and I’m sure not an easy thing to watch on TV, let alone experience as a resident of Los Angeles, and to see all our familiar and loved towns, destroyed, has been a very traumatic experience. I signed up to be a volunteer for Red Cross, and just started receiving shifts to volunteer and hope to sometime next week, volunteer and help support others, as they manage the trauma of losing of their homes, in the aftermath. This will be a good change from working in law firms, get back to my roots as a crisis volunteer like college.

I enjoyed watching the Grammys. I finally sat down and watched the entire show, I haven’t had the patience and focus to sit for hours and watch TV, but I’m finding off adderrall, Im not so dependent on taking a med to do things and getting more done than usually as of lately. I finally organized my room, and made a little bookshelf for myself, almost done reading Super Attractor one chapter left, then start reading a new book I’ll keep you posted. It feels good to be off meds, and without voices. I know it was such a struggle writing while I was suffering from symptoms, and want to thank all of you for being there for me through that process, of getting my mind back on track. Boy was that difficult, I hope I don’t ever have to be in a place that dark again in life, and glad to share in crisis, and for those of you who reached out to support me and check on me, when I didn’t sound like myself. I’m sorry to worry anyone, Im doing my best to get well and stay well, on a positive track now.

I’d like to share a quote from the book I’m reading, “When we lose faith, we have two choices: We can get hooked into our fear story and try to control our desires. Or we can surrender to the Universe and welcome guidance to restore our faith.” (page 176: Super Attractor). Im finding that right now in life, taking it easy, and enjoying my peace, I’m becoming a much happier person, not to mention complimented by others as sounding more like myself, less of the wreck I was dependent on adderrall, or alcohol to deal with voices, and just try to shut my mind off. I see now that that’s not the solution, you have to be doing things in life, keeping busy to feel good, not to mention in my newly organized room that’s finally not an eye sore to look at all my boxes everywhere, and starting to feel organized in my space, feels good. I hope that you all continue to not lose faith in yourself, and put the time and energy into finding your moments of peace too, and not take things for granted. In the reading she mentions that when we are in appreciation things start to flow better and work out for us. Im working on being in the flow, reading, doing chores, and even started learning how to cook. Which has been a joy to just stay home, since I fractured my ankle. It’s all a process, so don’t give up on yourselves, take it easy, be kind to yourselves, and keep up the good work.