Getting sick is not ideal, its not always guaranteed that you will recover, some damage to your sense of pride and self esteem can be sacrificed in the process of finding yourself and staying well. No life is perfect, no person who is known to many, is invincible or everyone able to handle symptoms, negativity, loss of support, mental health health issues, or very serious losses, sometimes there is no amount of support that can prepare you in life, for everything that’s to come. You would expect things to stay well, can accept natural disaster as not a result of human error, and some more so than others are able to carry on in life, in acceptance of what is, and some can help but think more of life, thinking caps on trying to solve everything, like life is some race of getting everything right, at just the right time, to make or break, or ensure for things to go right, and for most of those decisions we have 911 or the police to call, its whatever feeling so alarming so unsure that it just jumps out of you to do something, that could be making the difference between losing a life, or saving a life, in this circumstance, handling why on this occasion, did I get sick or need help, while in treatment, and after improving, Im sure will always be something there will never be quite enough information available to figure out my own health, let alone the health of others. Im just lucky that people have cared, and am proud to overcome this setback, and get strong again, without making mistakes this time around, not because Ive not changed, or need to change, or need excuse like alcohol or court etc. voices doesn’t always always explain for everything or fix whats wrong, and I think that’s what most people are going through right now, in observance, wondering whats wrong, and what can be done to make things right again. I would take the suggestions that have been given, without requiring an unnecessary allusion to my health, as though its my fault or anyones fault, if its an uncomfortable subject and I can sense the apathy or attitude about things not being about me should I get sick, then that’s my cue to accept the voices that Im dealing with, and that those voices don’t reflect the public, or the public’s need to hear from me at this time, no push required. There is a certain dissatisfaction in the air, when I think about how me getting sick or ending up in the hospital affects others, I think Im always doing my best, have overcome a lot, and stopped self harming, was not suicidal or put on a 5150 hold and sent home, have been through a lot, most things you should be strong enough to handle in life, and Im sorry in the chaos of whatever I went through which very few if not no one was bothered to be let down or waste time or effort caring for me, or be disappointed by me, as a professional or communicator online, I think Ive been a really strong person to write online and work unpaid, and with enthusiasm and success have made it this far in life, where I am able to get a job or blog, and not be punished and survive terrifying moments in life, and be a good example of someone who turns out okay in spite of being hurt or facing setback. Im a very forgiving person, nows not the time to use my health as any discussion of blame, I think that’s my right to privacy and no ones business my medical care, or who saved my life, jeopardize the privacy of those who were close to me, everyone is going through their own issues in life, including court, no matter what team you are on or side in life, no matter what voices represent, issues true, helpful, or taken personally, there is no perfect way of describing something only you hear and also be able to help others, with a rare condition, I never expected was a phenomenon that most people don’t get punished for or called schizophrenic, and happy that I was able to be treated and can blog beginning today. To me being hospitalized represents earning back trust, and respect, earning back points with the public, so on and so forth, whether that takes a long time, or is solved by a blog post, is something that I have to be strong enough to present in public or lead a discussion at this time, that doesn’t bother anyone, isn’t affecting anyone, something no one takes personally, so everyone can move forward and have things work out for them in life. I don’t think what happened to me is related to the public’s health interdependent on everything and everyone else in life that is doing well, its unfortunate to be known for mental health issues or meds, you aren’t always the one favored in terms of analyzing what is real or the best way forward, or best common perspective to hold right now. I just hope that my time away from blogging, gave people time to focus on themselves and reflect on life, without forcing me to be made uncomfortable explaining my health and everything Im going through, have done my best to discuss, I don’t think almost dying is the time to discuss stuff difficult for me. I would hope that in all fairness, whatever Im going through, everyone else would appreciate the same time and space and consideration of their health and everyone close to them, not be bothered, or create a public discussion inappropriate using me or highlighting stuff about me, which has not been helpful and clearly not the solution, theres a lesson in everything in life.