It’s an unfortunate circumstance to get sick, or experience mental illness in public, not everything is related to rap, or the use of the word battle to describe overcoming something, or not or require getting sick again to be a failed effort to write a book on mental health, or require publishing, I think life happens in whatever order it happens, no matter who is watching, no matter who can hear you, review your work, see you, everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It’s a good thing people are smart, and can think for themselves, and have confidence to overcome great difficulty, I don’t see the experience of mental illness following periods of wellness, with love or companionship in jeopardy, or an arrest, as a safe subject to subject myself or anyone to blame however voices are brought up. The purpose for staying well and speaking and writing is to create for solution, I never anticipated the constant downgrading constantly contesting everything I say, and I am allowed to experience periods of disorientation, sickness, confusion, upset, defense (is not anger), not require the constant use of me to make other people look good at my expense, or require constantly making me sick after I photo or share, is also not my fault. Sometimes I think the voices are things that others take personally, and for the mistake in treatment to be that of me, nothing that I think court, or treatment, writing in public, or hospitalization can solve, there is nothing funny or a joke about tech, oversight, privacy, exposing things, distrust, supervision, conversation, or trust, I think I am doing my best in spite of all the ways I could possibly be made sick, or call me names, or a liar, or dislike every argument or insight that I make about life, is not making anyone dumber or sicker, or less fortunate in life, to hear from me, and I don’t think any voice, battle or difficulty, should be worse by age 39, compared to all the years of life Ive lived before getting hurt in this way, is probably hard to explain to anyone, and doesn’t do a justice punishing me, torturing me, or just letting anyone hurt me, some things in life blame cant solve or sickness, and I don’t think that making fun of me, bullying me, or hurting me, is a joke, I don’t think voices is joke, requiring me to take back anything Ive said, or any worse condition a symptom of my own making, sometimes you don’t win in life, and I don’t think dying is losing. I stand where I stand in terms of reporting voices, and refuse to be taken off meds, refuse to talk to anyone, can refuse to appear in court, can refuse or quit doing anything in life, doesn’t mean that Im suicidal or giving up, harming myself, or harming anyone else, and if there is no solution or common peace with who I am, then yes I can consider not writing as solution, not dating, not being online, not talking to anyone, clearly I improved a lot, keeping to myself, and clearly going to the hospital has not provided solution for voices, or an arrest, or court, or treatment, and I cant afford to constantly get sick, or be fought, or made fun of, offset, or forced to endure symptoms wasting my energy peace and stability to things that I cannot prove is no solution of humor for anyone, or represent anything else easier for others to understand about life, computers, phone, photography, life, it isn’t about everyone, if I get sick. I know who I am. Ending up in court isn’t about everyone, doesn’t mean I have done anything wrong. I think voices win calling me sick terms, saying sick terms in public, and hurting my feelings, which I don’t think an arrest explains my mental health or what Im dealing with in life, beyond court or what Ive provided and written and nothing that anyone can help me with clearly, or being taken off medication any peace that can be solved by disability. All I said was truth, not everything requires me to be feeling good, be isolated, hurt, taken away from things, given a hard time, made fun of for dying, continue calling me sick terms, and not care why or what I was doing or saying before I died, isn’t about you, isn’t about everyone, who I am, my success, my luck my jobs, isn’t about everyone, and until voices can comprehend what life is about, it isn’t about seeing my life, and ruining my life or calling me sick. And I don’t have to write online, or be changed to argue or be isolated for anything that I have said or done, my court records say not guilty, if you want to continue to discuss the past, I have always been open to explaining my timeline or provided discussions for, those discussions are not for hurting me, blaming me, excusing any judgment, no writing conversation or public statement is admission to anything in life, Ive done nothing wrong, Im allowed to write online in public. If you have a problem you can call courts or discuss amongst yourselves whatever is the issue, voices can represent whatever system of negative judgment that voices represent is not my fault, if I am judged in the negative coming from a real life, and a real career, and a real story, don’t take myself for granted, am not alive to be hurt, made scared, threatened, disadvantaged, give mental health a bad name, and Im sure the rest of life is dependent on relying on the successful, life isn’t about connecting me and watching people, or not believing what I have to say, if you don’t support me talking to men or women, then I wont talk to anyone, if you don’t support my happiness and peace, then I don’t need to blog or help anyone, if you don’t support my future or potential, you don’t have the right to ruin my life, accuse me of having issues I don’t have, or mistreat me accuse me of being guilty, or question court or a DA or attorney general, Im not alive to battle voices, after 39 years of life and having created a life of value, if that’s an inside joke in tech that no one can help me with, then that’s the joke, but don’t call me sick, or delusional, or expect me to self harm, friend anyone, or constantly be made sick, to accuse me of anger, or illness, or falsely address court or the attorney general, or my fears, or my life, isn’t about everyone, sometimes I have to think for myself.