Statement Submitted to the Academy Awards ….

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Then write a post on something about not getting your hopes up not knowing what’s real not be jealous too quick not be jealous of privacies not expect solution to be plentiful in constant production daily give time to think it’s ok to start with nothing and re affirm that it’s experimental working on myself spoke to an official account and another account (#kevincostner) I’m not sure if verified and the point of these interactions is not to devalue my beliefs or question my faith along the lines of what’s going to work out for who but to not be spiteful in the event sides are created none of which represent causes for natural disaster are not a reflection of anyone’s leadership including my own or require a literal interpretation of content as being about insulting me, that person was punished it’s time to move on.
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I’m focusing on my health still figuring how I almost died and thinking about what happened I’m allowed therapy and treatment not something the public wants or expect me to have lots of information about my own health to provide to the public at this time.
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I would appreciate to not be given a hard time about my health. I’m always doing my best and I don’t appreciate assumption or belittlement over implication or blame regarding my own health it’s very personal and private to me what I’ve been through and do not choose to make my blog about me getting sick or make a big deal over who hurt me and was punished.
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There will not always be a proper or seemingly fair analysis of life in terms or ensuring everyone is represented equally or at a cost to me require I look bad to make other people look good. Everyone’s a hero it’s not my job to determine to whom respect is paid for their love considering my own heart at this time no one should worry about what happens to me if a rhetoric or court is being used to interpret me poorly mistake my innocence or legal education for anything less than appropriate, alcohol or pill or not it’s not up to me to change or face disability or mental illness in public fighting is not worth it then to be online if that’s happening to me and should not happen to me. 
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Let no diagnosis or definition convince you that you can figure me out or the mental health of everyone in general with no experience in the hospital or on meds or in treatment or have years of sobriety to simply accept not all communications will go well I may feel sick be unstable think well not think well if I am being helped don’t judge me by who you believe is helping me and think less of my own independence and decision making skills. 
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Life is to varying extremes no one’s business not fit for conversation and no one’s life is supposed to be mischaracterized contested or require constant delay. Imagine how you would feel if you were me and getting by on your own not depending on anyone and not being able to afford being bullied in life. If it was my belief to discontinue writing by therapist advice and if I stated the possibility of being hurt by what I write as being used to script mistreatment of me or leave me without solution that’s a concern my therapist stated to help myself first before helping others and my privacy or wellness is not a secret or solution or conversation admission of guilt to anything in life.
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Life is not that simple please don’t call my life an overdose or delusion or schizophrenia that’s unhelpful rude condescending bullying selfish gossip not my job to admit or confess my own health or anything is my fault or equate a punishment which is his right to privacy and up to him to determine what he’s done wrong and what to say is not a person I denied care to or overeport just a hate website. I gave little to no information to the investigators beyond we exchanged photos consensually therefore I don’t wish to be retaliated on seeing him as normal see me as abnormal constantly publicize this non marriage taking half hurting me or punishing me, a person who doesn’t move on or date it’s not me telling the public falsely who I love or consider punishing me treat everything like a switch or privilege or about fear I think fear is instilled to accuse. I think my blood pressure 125/81 pulse (80) today being on my own not talking to anyone is doing what is right abiding by court not special circumstances required. I don’t make people feel guilty but I’m the kind of person it’s other peoples peace to just accept not make a big deal expect me to just keep going to keep getting jobs or require interfering with my readiness to work for Red Cross is not a cover with unearned preference to rise above or neglect conversations important or unable to face conscious difficulty or conflict without cursing or accuse my sickness as inherited or a reflection of guilt or read into me try pick me apart or determine how I work or what my fears are call what’s inside me or on my face guilt or judge my peace as inappropriate by comparison why would I have something or a feeling in life earned a solution I would not share with others.
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The issue is not my stability if everyone can talk to eachother but is mean to me and it’s not big deal why can’t I just speak in treatment and not let everyone judge my discomfort or issues or feelings stated out loud. I won’t always be in a position to help everyone and I’m responsible for what happens to me in life. 
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I would prefer to not make a big about what happened to me and let court and a DA figure out details which I don’t wish to be hassled for or expect me to explain what he did wrong. And if you are going to judge me for what he said, and that makes you big (I’m not fighting you this is how I feel so this is how I’m speaking and to accept the timing of all responses as a reflection of what I’m going through what I’m up against in life and in light of what’s done to me repeatedly not make my body shape or confidence as joke about support or not being supported).
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I can big without your support, I am not small, instead of judging me ask yourself how would you feel if that was done to you or to any other woman on earth before judging 4 years or handling an issue privately and continuing to respond to everyone everyone had an opportunity to be apart of be cool be in the know go through a lot. So please don’t expect me to get hurt or just let me get hurt and use negative terminology is not for your win or happiness or satisfaction for me to go down in life or just take it I’m not for your happiness to make you feel big or feel smart that’s not my job to be wrong so you can feel right that’s not the solution to fight me after the hospital or expect me to talk to everyone or lose privilege in life and constantly try to make me stupid.
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Why not honor the issue or fact my faith is required but no one else has to believe in me or support me and ask me why I should change.
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I only have one life ultimately it’s up to what you believe and I can’t change your faith or expectations (how you can tell when things are good what you’re sensing what you’re predicting how you feel how you know or what you think is not my job to determine or be used as a benchmark, I am a stable person in treatment and I’m sorry I’m not always required to be well) or trying determine what you saw or heard (it was shocking and hurtful to me and caused me mental illness and voices).
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It’s not my job to speculate who’s side you are on (or sacrifice any team goals or strength in happiness and things being good between one another amicable). I can’t figure out who’s upset or what’s being directed at me beyond my own life and not everything is about what I see or determining guilt or calling everything a mental health issue. It’s okay to start with nothing and give people time to think.
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Sometimes things are not said in public to not cause waves or make things worse. I think I am someone true to my character online job or no job blog if no blog website or no website. (My website account on Weebly mymollydoll.com and domain was sold too late to find my login information to my second WordPress account) and it was stolen from me (sometime 2024) and there’s no way of getting my content back, and that’s my loss that preceding me almost dying, collapsing and ending up on the hospital in that condition on as prescribed due to writing battling voices.
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It doesn’t make sense after all these years for that to happen to me especially while in treatment doing my best taking good care of myself after just working full time. There’s no reason why I should be fought or get sick called negative terms is not the solution and I’m not alive to be treated that way and that’s not what I’m alive for to get hurt or be pushed or not allowed to work or earn a wage be punished socially for getting a job or taking time off from blogging as advised by my treatment team. #sober
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I can’t control who has hurt me and why but it’s my job to move forward and not be resented or mistreated judged poorly not empathized with not viewed in the positive or appreciated for my hard work online and in real life and not to be used to be made to look bad to create content that makes people feel bad for disliking me in the event I recover or work or do well in life. If there was a side against me I’m not policing anyone or reporting anyone or handling anything in private or require me to be ready to speak in public not give me time to figure out my own life and what I’m going through. Please be patient and wait for things to resume no one is changing everything to this or everything to that or reversing anything I can accept what is. Let it be. 
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It’s not my intent to correct or make anyone feel bad or call attentions to myself in the negative. It’s up to me to fix my life not get “shot” in public not get humiliated not lose my life to someone else’s life unreported or be too late to fix and help myself. No further comment. 
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In the end everyone sees themselves as good and each are entitled to see themselves in that way and that is my hope for everyone going through a lot to continue to value what makes them a good person and to not be over reliant or resentful toward others including myself constantly expecting something from me to make things better or judge life as not being good without my participation I think everyone has a chance and opportunity to create harmony and balance in their lives and for everyone not unique to my blogs or gifts in life.
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written: 03/03/25