Things can be good and you can be supported given meds and things can go wrong and you can lose support not be given meds. I think at this time no one wants to look bad or guilty is concerned for their own health is aware of reality and life and recognizes what everyone is going through to varying lengths and extremes. 

It may not be a good time to be in court but I’m in court and there’s nothing I can do to get through to anyone who doesn’t think I’m smart or doesn’t need me is convinced to think poorly of me does not agree with me, does not trust me, is not concerned about losing medical care or medications and that’s okay, not everything going wrong in the world or in life is someones fault or can be solved with apology or admission to relinquish burdens or deal with pressures in life. I don’t think any common understanding  of life is to not make anyone feel wrong or stupid or used or require overusing the term “court” to justify happenings based on who I am and what I have to say in life not care for what my odds are too busy focused on themselves or disliking things I have to say. The bottom line as to voices I have to accept the permanency of that viewpoint of me however it’s been created however the words cool or love or trust is being used to determine anyone’s strength not anyone tested less in life or required to be wrong to change or just force me to live life accused or blamed or not make a big deal about how voices occur or what that means about me as a person as to what I’ve done wrong. 

I think things will never be good enough for anyone that does not have to admit to negative judgment whether I improve to the extent that they’re okay with me now not hurt, whether I look bad lose places in life as a result of looking bad lose opportunities in life get compared or disfavored. I have to deal with why I could be treated that way and figure out what is causing me to be treated that way. Just today I spoke up as to my experiences being on teams in life and supported was never about me trying to control how I feel or put in stone a non difficulty of accepting others expressions I think gets personal when you think my feelings are hurt made fun of or think to not prefer me is something everyone trying hard to be themselves would wonder not a place in life of happiness that others earn which others do not I don’t think is the lesson hurtful to me to be compared or loved any less or sued mean I’ve done anything wrong or should know what I’ve done or said wrong bring up life as to others without regard to who I am be settled in making me feel bad, telling me I’m wrong, allowing for voices without solution, is not about my weight or rejection or making me feel bad to offset or separate me from how others feel or how life is supposed to take on new meaning in life beneficial to the insights of those who don’t need to be questioned or graded on their insights or interactions with me. Is at my expense to speak with offered solution for others to further, accept, not be blamed, not look bad, not feel stupid, not be given problems, not waste time thinking, not get confused, not be lied to, etc. I can accept in any way I am observed is up to me to live my life with expectation that I improve and do well and believe in myself. I get that at this time it’s too late to complain or being anything up seeing that’s reading into things which is unwanted and can be used against me to accuse me of insult or not being grateful for support so that’s how support can be lost in tandem to both you not feeling well and for the side supported to be who was helping me. I guess continued observation of me is however long it takes for things to not be difficult and I’m assuming my time alone or away from others is good time spent reflecting and figuring out what’s important to me. I guess the lesson in not being believed or brought to court is so that no one supports me or doesn’t feel obligated to help me and is supposed to tell me I’m wrong and to stay away from people and not talk to anyone which is hard for me to accept about court. You know no one intends to harm anyone playing their hand in life, we can all be supported and rooted for, stay sober, belong, talk about life and care. Right now I’m thinking about at what point in difficulty and in isolation is anything ever good enough to someone who sees me as wrong or justifies voices how can I be responsible for coming up for a solution for voices if it’s being used against me to accuse me of being psychotic or getting things wrong. I think if you don’t need me the better off you should be, the more you know me the less you expect me to be punished or punish myself in writing trying to figure out anyone except me, and to accept there may be easy solutions for many things in life but that doesn’t mean that we are all the same.