I’m grateful to be alive and lucky that I didn’t end up in the ICU, and I am lucky to still be alive after collapsing is nothing traumatic or something to remind me of my limits and no matter how fit or strong or connected or protected I feel that being alive and recovering is a state of wellness or photo not to be mistaken as anyone who is not sober or not living a disciplined life has medical care, patient, has been in court for 3 years steadily making progress, no one who worked hard and did a lot of things right in life, undeserving of blame or writing or terms or reason to have a medical condition viewed as my doctors my fault not something I address to all my doctors or the public something to punish me for, the patient who is being prescribed and in court living appropriately and doing her best, always reflecting on life and reminded of why to stay fit or wait to date, or listening or how lucky it is to be supported or receive medical care anyone who is sharing in public or living in the positive never forgetful of what I’ve been through ever not there for others, or have an ability to help ever not offered to the public by blog to be apart of that progress no one who works hard and intends to collapsed under a lot of pressure with a lot going on in my head, no one being helped or receives medical care, deserving of rest and time off line, is no one recovering or willing to jeopardize her blog career and options in life losing to voices or for any reason be judged poorly am not the one unhelpful or working hard and emailing someone doing her best to help and be apart of solution just as anyone or differing opinions. I’m sure if that happened and I worked hard and reconnected and still getting voices then it’s about my writing online or ability to help others or issues I’m sure I’m expected to deal with privately until I find solution for it, no one his writing online is a justification for getting hurt or be confused for something else in life. Is not why I’m online, or alone and not talking to anyone, dealing with voices at my expense, trying to discuss hospitalization or symptoms in a way, that’s shows how I’ve been harmed without needing to make fun of iPhone notes photos or blog posts removed or dysfunction or periods of hitting my head or disability just to be humiliated after getting a job, or be made fun of for battling anything in life, something I went through, something I accept, nothing I’m blaming anyone for, and no writing or perspective shared to show how hard I’ve worked to overcome voices and grateful for periods of no voices in treatment, maybe sharing so much because I don’t want to get hurt and nothing about my blog or writing style following or stats anything I would let down or take for granted my own health and ability to help others, courteous kind and considerate of others, not anyone living life to not be trusted or accused of giving up, or not doing her best, anyone who should he hurt because I ended up in the hospital, is hard for me to push myself and discuss voices, on a level I’m not okay with being hurt and discussing symptoms with my audience, is not about me getting hurt or being forgetful or protected for no reason, something that should follow me wherever I go in life and misunderstand a person who works hard who saves everything is not someone harmed or who went to law school or received medical care or diagnoses changed, am not strong enough to be fought or responsible for content provided and notification of hospitalization, no one any less deserving of peace, not recovered or strong to be put down, handling life differently by explaining why I shouldn’t be hurt is not a delusion or hospitalization unnecessary or my fault, or return to blogging to be difficult working hard and still have not found a solution for voices or writing good enough to prevent voices, is no lesson in life about being hurt, that anyone is expected to help me or worry for me, or be defensive to or mistake the public or voices for my value or private struggle something to discuss in public am no one helped or complaining or making mistakes beat up in life doing my best, expected to keep going to just stay well and take it and handle it in life as though I’m supposed to be ridiculed for being hurt with a job humiliated and fought for he made fun of or called a loser based on what he said not a joke not a choice, nothing that’s ever happened to me before in life or in public on my blog, that I should forget or apologize for being mistreated, lucky to be well now, and I’m sure the purposes for blogging or having an audience is to help everyone not get hurt or end up worse for no reason, anyone who reported or asked for helped protected who should just end up hurt, because no one cared about my mental and focus or how I was affected being hurt by someone in life it’s not me who isn’t positive or have a good life that meds to get hurt or sick to communicate to everyone or not care for boundaries and defending myself in writing is maybe not an emergency to anyone or misunderstood as openness or help not respected it’s not about me giving up or not being good enough or not working hard who has an attorney and therapist, making mistakes online or expect me to change my writing or be hurt in the basis in live in California and went to Law School and lived sober and was an approved company helpful to everyone, not anyone you accuse of sickness I don’t have or disbelieve progress or wellness as not processing or forgetful of what happened to me, no one living free or trying to look good or is supported or losing support based on voices, not someone you call loser or convince everyone to think I’m sick or hear me write and still get hurt not about my relations with the public or value as a person that needs to change to not belong be discounted mistake all of life as something you accuse me of misrepresenting California or anyone of value in life am not the one with a world wide audience causing problems or offering support about me not getting hurt not about my limits or mistake me or my influence or sense of peace for something else is not worth losing my life and everything I have, how I should be interpreted in life or watch my life with out or not work out not a game. It’s not about what I say when I’m upset that I need to forget or change or my luck that needs to change or be tested or the expectations of the public suggest my work ethic or dedication is not working hard enough in public to not get hurt.