In the aftermath of any battle, we may find ourselves picking up the pieces and reflecting on what has transpired. It may be hard to remove things from memory but there are ways to overcome your anguish, and finally let your defensive walls down again. It can be stressful keeping up walls, and find your happy medium.
There are ways, to “take steps to repair it and move forward” [1] without revisiting the same issues over and over again, and that’s progress, partly accepting what can and cannot be accomplished with your understanding alone. Asking for help isn’t always easy, sometimes we would rather overcome feelings on our own not involve others, it seems to be no one fault in times of difficulty. Keep in mind, “When you shift your goal from achieving a middle ground to convince the other person that you are right and things should be as you say, you have already lost, whether you win the argument or not.” [2]
I’m sure we are all thinking, what could we be doing better, how can our happiness and teamwork translate toward better prevention efforts, how can our contributions toward the wellness of others ensure the success of all, why still do some falter, how could a society otherwise function if not by good deeds. What will make people feel better? From a young age we are conditioned not to fight, we are trained behaviorally to get along with those around us and to be accepting of others, not to say anything hurtful that if we have nothing nice to say not to say it at all. So what’s fighting the good fight? [3] To me it means constantly working toward a better union with others to which both sides are understood and at peace with one another or their differences in belief to one another, we can’t all be the same, think alike, feel the same worries, or be forgiving of the same circumstances, but we can build more respect for one another’s boundaries in life, where one another need not be affected by one another’s beliefs.
In order to win over respect from those who hold differing beliefs from you, is to be devout to your own understandings in life, and true to your instincts, more often than not, right about your senses, and proving that there is a sense of peace achieved once your feelings are validated, for your way of life to be acknowledged as normal too. What is wholesome? We are all raised differently, online the times call for more versatility and fortunately this way of exposure is still considered wholesome though doubted in the past as attracting positive attentions, today it doesn’t matter how short our shorts are or tight our t-shirts are or what our voice octave is, and that’s humbling especially for women just trying to be themselves, without doubt. It’s easy to condemn what you compare to others as falling to a standard set too high that leaves more out from feeling good about themselves than inspires one to improve and assimilate.
Notice how our need to feel whole and be apart of has become integral to the success of most companies seeking to attract a wider audience. Similarly people seek to not be limited by identifying factors or job sectors, when “our need to be right can become an addiction” [4] we waste more time trying to pressurize our thinking to conform to prescribed definitions than we are able to accept things and people as they are. Notice the growing need to feel accepted, to preserve our innocence, to fly under the radar, to blend in, to not stand out, to be ourselves. In fact the wider the range for acceptances in the life the more room for normal we allow for.
References:
[1] https://www.gottman.com/blog/manage-conflict-the-aftermath-of-a-fight/
[2] https://medium.datadriveninvestor.com/how-to-stop-almost-any-argument-b542d9883a05
[3] https://www.thedeepthingsofgod.com/2020/05/what-does-it-mean-to-fight-good-fight.html?m=1