Removed March 23, 2022.

Just finished therapy. I’ve worked really hard to be around people again, date and have friends, and attend AA and NAMI. It’s important I continue on this path and work so that I don’t self harm or get suicidal it’s not okay to have nothing in life, to be ignored, or to be rejected on any basis when you are doing well. It’s a lot to face and understandable when you are not well to have less in life and have difficulty connecting with others. It’s painful to be alone, to not be able to make money to support yourself, and to not feel well enough to date. I understand my issues I’m not trying to feel good off of acceptance for others claim disability (shining), addiction (they’re alive), or mental health issues (I can write without an attorney and date and call friends if I feel like reaching out). I improved because I handled how I felt threatened and this made things better and safe when left in a condition I felt suicidal disrespected and physically hurt injured in the head and body unmotivated I used to run everyday. It’s a cruel world depending on who you are and what you race, identity, ethnicity, schooling is somehow entitles others to be hateful toward you and suddenly forget how they were once you do well wanting to be apart of that. For years I wrote to people because I’m talking to Spitzer I don’t have any close connection or comradere anymore with anyone that I was talking to in private who is a celebrity that is because I don’t feel good. When you don’t feel good you don’t model, take selfies, lose weight, and get voices. Voices are about accountability for me which can be stopped based on what I do in life they stop attacking me, so write professionally (which gets memorized and practiced on you to see whats coming from you accurate or taken on like a script to situate you in a position where you sound angry or upset or rejected to say that the wellness of others you are not well by). No I think voices occur because they don’t want you to feel good, don’t understand why you are well, don’t get how scared you are in life how challenging it is to live life provide for yourself and go through life without an attorney with people prosecuting you left and right for everything they don’t like about you. And that’s not fair when you are not doing anything wrong and when no one will help you. It then becomes about why you feel sick why when well you don’t stay well it’s because you want to do well you feel good well then you do well when it becomes about others upset with you you don’t do well you suffer you struggle you don’t participate so that they are happy you’re not doing well so they can illustrate what you are like when you are not well because they don’t believe you when you are well. And that’s how ridiculous my mental health issues are is that I can’t do things that make me feel good, I don’t feel like talking to others, and because I don’t feel good I don’t have things in life and that’s mental health issues. Not feeling good alone, not comfortable around others, and everyone hard on you that’s to illustrate that youve done something wrong and the risk is that it entitles people to be mean to you when you don’t feel good to blame you as a source of not feeling good and that’s not who I am that’s not who I was online and that’s not who I sound like.