I’m sorry I was not feeling well and didn’t sound like myself when I was talking about being in pain and suicide I’m not suicidal I’m very proud of myself I walked for 3 hours and the causes for me feeling sick were probably because I compared not writing to suicide, meaning when you follow your dreams in life not (people) your passions (what you like in life) you feel good inheriting qualities and concepts that help you to become well adjusted to your surroundings and see life in more positive way that’s a good influence on you. It’s hard as a person with disabilities to be expected to make people I don’t know feel good when I’m not feeling good I don’t give up it’s wrong to mischaracterize a person with mental illness as giving up I don’t give up I write and launched two websites on my own with traffic and likes and graduated from law school with disability if that doesn’t inspire you I don’t know what else will. I’m doing my best.

Please allow for days of intensity, controversy, chaos, overhead stadium noise at me, voices trying to talk to me, people watching me that’s how it feels when you think you’re being watched to mischaracterize me as paranoid or a crack head or drug addict therefore on days I’m not well I won’t describe the physiological symptoms and I won’t be descriptive of what’s not going well for me and instead only does highly of myself not let my defenses down or not be made sick by details you read from my life and judge me by cause me sickness that’s reading for dirt. If you’re reading for dirt you are hereby blocked from all my phones computers life photos and websites. Read something else I don’t have dirt I have compassion I have explanation I have story I have reason I have logic and I represent others well.

Just because I’m nominated for a Shorty Award doesn’t mean that I’m not hurt by recent incidences of racism. So that’s not me giving up that’s upon being looked at as stupid by people who don’t read my blogs and don’t know me thinking they’re smarter than me. Then where did you get your knowledge from? Where did you get your clarity from? Where did you get your money from? Where did you get your clothes from? Where did you get your home from. Then think of all those things before criticizing someone on the basis of money or job or application working in law is a must I have to work because the Government paid me during COVID via EDD to work. Employee Development that is why I started working because my Mom and my Dad wanted me to get a job before he died that’s what we talked about everyday in the hospital and calorie counting and lost 30 lbs.

I feel like anything I say doesn’t work for me and everything I say has to work for who could be reading who is going by a laundry list of other words and sentences they are calculating my odds to in life that’s not what I’m doing with my life staring or gazing at others only myself, or have to believe in myself to work get up each day write and be strong those are basic needs in life power integration award are not those are standards you go by coming from a high profile story to make sure you don’t cross work or paths with others reinforce value not devalue. #growth