Usually life is about feeling good and sometimes you are made to feel stupid and it’s up to you to speak for yourself and prove to others that there is nothing wrong with you and that you are not doing anything wrong past or present for talking to anyone you share to is the pattern sought to be established why I was harmed in public brought before a Judge to tell me I’m doing something wrong and to mischaracterize me as “inappropriate.”

Whatever winning hand that is for people who don’t like me I can’t change the satisfaction that people feel when I look stupid or being threatened to be sent to jail by a set of terms of right and wrong to subject me to being scared and with the plan for me making a mistake to punish me for 5 years probation and put me in jail for 1 year. I don’t think that’s necessary and I don’t think I’m the kind of person who is needs to be told to stay away from people I think I do an excellent job of keeping to myself and being appropriate proper.

We live in a period of time of expectations and proof of what you know and how you have come to know about yourself or what others prefer to read and there’s no luck or science involving and characters period. It’s about what you have to offer to the insights of others knowing you or with acceptance for how you speak that’s a positive expectation to hear from someone and for this to make more sense. It’s okay for people to want to figure you out in life and it’s also possible to be hurt when people know you or think of ways to hurt you, shock you, or subject you to negative opinion of you, that much you can’t change in life who’s done with you, gives up on you, or creates a reputation for you future for people to go by when they become dissatisfied with you or feeling like complaining about you.

So this lawsuit was about complaining about emails and voicemails sent then confronting Todd and reporting it to the court and having him sign a document to tell me to stay away which I can abide by and then convince everyone that I’m not wanted and declare me inappropriate for applying or emailing his office and letting them get to know me for a job.

Things get out of hand when people think that you deserve to be cut off and rejected and think or are made to believe there’s some criminal basis or something foul occurring on your blog they seek to prove or bring you into court to be examined and looked at to determine whether there is something heavy and foul on your head or body to say that you carry a pain or a stupid feeling heavy on the basis of something you’re being told you’ve done wrong to hear how you sound when you suffer and what things are about for you in the event that you are made to look mentally ill.

There’s nothing I can do to change what is said of me or thought about me and there is nothing I can do about who knows me or what people think what is about what I can do for myself is to take a break from blogging take myself seriously and get much needed rest from voices.

I don’t have to share about it in public if it makes me feel bad and makes others angry toward me that much I don’t deserve and I don’t deserve to be brought into court to be confronted and made to speak and represent myself as though I’ve done something wrong have done something wrong or continue to do anything wrong.

Since when is a human being supposed to sound a certain way or expected to say a certain thing in order to be trusted or be viewed as being of value and since when is it okay to watch me and criticize me like there’s something off or wrong about me too much not especially now this is why I will never video protest or write in public for the rest of my life although that helped me in the past at a certain point you will have to stop watching a person like they owe you something to be viewed in shame and stop penalizing me on the basis of content and act like I’m not providing my best or should or could have provided better content than I have.

Writing is not a figured out profession and there is no readership that miscommunicates what is said well is made by me and acknowledged by who’s reading. Therefore a diagnosis insulting means to make everyone believe I’m mentally ill is damaging to my mind my career and to my physical health which doesn’t need to be put down made to feel bad or look stupid for anyone to make a point about whatever they think is going wrong in life for me or others gun violence wise. I think seeking to connect me and the constant watching me as though it’s my health that’s out of control or shocking is hurting me as though a result occurs due to a mental illness created in me.

In addition no code for belonging or acceptance is ruined by me looking stupid or being treated as mentally ill people have been following and keeping track of everything going well for over 10 years, there should not be sudden changes in things feeling good, of course not (most would agree), and accuse me of not being apart of what is generally peaceful be mistreated like I can’t identify the peace of my life my body my head and the peace of anyone else or their body or head in their life with their experiences and their memories and their perspective.

It’s never too late to fix yourself for everything else I should not be affected by or expected to speak to as though I should take offense of anything is rightfully about me intended to hurt my feelings or make me seem like my life is about anything being about me or anyone I know as though that’s a system working that you think my health affects I think I write and share therefore everyone knows who I am.

I don’t believe that my condition is scary or threatening so long as I don’t go out and don’t sit alone and stay home in my room and focus on my career work and write things should never be so extreme toward me to differentiate me from the rest of the population or make things look like my fault or blame my condition as persuading anyone that things are not right so this is a test of my life being f-ked up and ruined and see what happens to me and what I have to say and where I’m headed in life and whether I deserve to be punished and not be wrongfully treated like I have some chemical disorder in my brain or body that’s wrong and mentally ill.

I don’t think it’s necessary to do extreme changes to my head of body to see what I sound like or what causes me sickness to determine whether I get suicidal and call me selfish. I’ve worked too hard to recover and be strong that I don’t have the time or energy for fighting to be blamed like I make anyone else life hard to live or comprehend. I think I’m very giving and loving and I think it’s wrong to put me in jail to make hate feel good like they did something good and wrongfully accuse me of causing problems.