On a positive note, it’s a good sign when the feeling is not mutual in the event that I get sick, and Im sure theres a system to that comprehension of life, Im not sure if Im quite suffering by my own odds, or hand in life, or by something said not agreed with and viewed as “guilty,” I think anything you say that makes people think you hear negative voices, and any medical opinion that defames you, you know that’s private crisis that makes you look bad, and they really don’t care, and they really don’t take responsibility, for what happens to you. Life is all about connecting, unfortunately you learn the hard way upon becoming sick that people care less what you are reacting to and why, and whats more important is your last word, that’s what people study and then apply and test in terms of what you comprehend whether you are your words, sometimes people are advised to go against you in life, and that’s the risk you take writing online, and being studied without permission, in discussions with people private, it becomes their right to discuss and talk, but not your right to hear reassurances or positives overall in terms of what is going well for you or what will happen for you in life, that’s a team that you get rejected from, the team that forms through you, based on you, and then convenes and you get sick, is the team who is then not responsible for you getting sick, on the basis of them connecting, is what the issue and competition over perspective is. I can share online in public and that cant replace a relationship and a wellness that was created and existed between two people, when someone else interferes with my reputation diagnosis and pretends to be expert on what I am like, who I am what Im about and what my difficulties are. This is how sickness occurs when you are not believed and if you get worse, because someone else stopped treating you, its to reinforce what they think and making you appear like things are out of control, disorganized, or untreatable or not complaint. I was compliant for several months off day meds, and unfortunately I was hurt and slower processing and functioning speed in life, and as a result I got trashed online because I sounded stupid talking about rehab, which I don’t deserve to be punished for being treated sober I was not guilty in rehab I was many years sober and that was a place to stay to overcome mental health issues minor, which were treated as worse than they are, and that’s not my fault, I underwent the treatments, I never complained, I was patient, I improved, and then once care was rescinded, then I had to adjust to what meds Im given, that doesn’t mean that Im wrong or doing anything not in compliant not taking a rare med that’s never been offered to me, and hard to get. Sounds like theres a disappointment and a boat, and people leave the boat, you struggle, you improve, and they wait to see if you improve, then they can pretend theyre on the boat.