Took rest a few days, woke up with a massive headache the other day, things like that mean I just need to slow down and rest. It might not seem like a lot of work but writing is work it’s putting parts of you online to be read by others, what you’re willing to speak to not necessarily always what’s on your mind. Sometimes you can be perfectly at peace doing nothing but when it comes to talking your true colors may be tested. I think no matter where you are in life with disability can get sick and while studying CBT I now realize that much of what goes wrong for me mentally is based on what people think or could think or are thinking about me, eventually you have to just be yourself, minus the stress of being psychoanalyzed or criticized for why you are the way you are.

I think we’ve become accustomed to a certain type of success that appears in a way people expect you to appear. With disability it will baffle people as to why you don’t shine, why you’re not up, why they’re not sure of you or where you’re headed, people want proof of who you are, it’s like constantly investing in bettering yourself while at the same time not be disheartened by anyone’s unhappiness no matter what’s going on in the world. I think most things people are affected by as a blogger and now member of AP it feels like it’s your job to address discomforts and I’m sure that if you were a blogger you would be wondering the same things to what to speak to, what’s relevant, what will make things better, what is my place.

Recently I received a DM notifying me that I was selected for an Entrepreneur Magazine top 40 under 40 list! That’s great if I could be featured, would be awesome to make a career for myself as a writer, I’ve only just begun. There’s no rush to professionalism when it happens it happens and everything you do leading up to those moments of pride will reinforce your drive and determination to keep going in life in spite of whatever obstacles are thrown your way mental or physical. What carries you forward is feeling good about yourself, no headwind or abrasive discouragement from others, continued respect for those in professions, showing heart and not worry how big your head looks to others, disciplined efforts to stay on track and not be too hard on yourself.

I’m also preparing for an upcoming Fashion Show, LA Fashion Week was invited on Backstage to the Beautiful You Tour and in the process of getting registered and get directions for my appearance on March 26, hopefully I’ll be feeling well by then and not experience too many sick days between now and then.

So this encourages me to continue writing my second book, I’m only on Chapter 2, so will take about 6 months to a year to complete depending on whether I start working or not, depends on what I’m able to do, my condition, ability to combat negative symptoms of mental health issues, stay well adjusted to blogging and update my audience on my current condition, goals, and aspirations. I think we all want to feel better by what’s ahead explains why people rely on the successful to hear where they are on things to rethink where they stand in terms of processing facts information events people stories and life in general. I notice the in general apathy for things I search or photos or writings in the event I don’t have a plan or don’t have a current project I’m working on as a benchmark for review as to how I’m doing mentally. It’s hard to be a patient online and also get to be a blogger it seems like if the symptoms aren’t present means the disease is in remission greater my likelihood for better days ahead versus symptoms present then the longer it will take for me to accomplish my goals in life on the outside things are sometimes just as difficult to get going as it is for the person trying to make their life happen. What you get in life is based on what you have to offer the world those are the opportunities that will come around when you reach those moments of knowing what you want, sure of yourself, and communicating clearly your abilities in life and with confidence bestow to others that you will meet that expectation perform be consistent, get better each day.