You don’t know until you know. Life isn’t a trip, just any moment in which you absolutely can’t move, and quiet, and refuse to put up with the pain, you think of a way out. That’s the best lesson, in how to not let any pain sit for longer than is necessary to recognize whats an emergency. You! You are the emergency, it is your health, so while you may not want to let others down in life, don’t worry about what you have to explain, or what there is to say, in a moment in which you are not feeling well, nothing else matters more than for you to get well, and that’s not selfish. People only come to rely on when the atmosphere is inviting, so don’t become accustomed, to pushing people away, that’s a common response to someone who wants love, however if you are someone who has love and doesn’t need love, well then there is room for insult, so don’t require it and be clear on your boundaries, you wont know why or for what reasons, until you get hurt. There are supportive people when things are well (with a blog they can check at their leisure to see how your doing, to know what to feel or think of you) so in all those moments alone, second guessing yourself, don’t be scared when you don’t get a feeling or a response that lets you know that you are doing just fine and that everything will be okay, chances are that much no one will be able to assure you of. That’s wellness, not a fairweather issue, until you speak to it, otherwise just accept peoples experiences in life and limits, for how the deal or cope with other people’s conditions. You shouldn’t be alarmed by disability, and neither should anyone. It is not for you to explain, only to not give up and not live a harder life than is necessary. A miracle is for all those who are unaffected by disability mental health, who aren’t hospitalized, who survive breakups, who overcome alcoholism, or drugs, there are so many ways that you can get hurt in life, its not worth worrying over it, if its not something that you are knowingly subjecting yourself to. Whats a hard life, if its not explained to you and you know nothing about it, then don’t worry about it, it’s not anything that you need to experience in life, to know what you have going for you in life. Drugs aren’t the solution to feeling good, nor are more medications, always as prescribed. Rehab isn’t a joke, it’s a not a social scene, it’s a place you arrive broken, lost, or in need of help, and you take meds as directed or taken off meds, and each day that you are there if you struggle, that’s to remind you of how life could be without meds, doing nothing, writing nothing, saying nothing, later in life you will wonder what you should look like, at this moment it shouldn’t matter if you look smart, if you look lost, if youre struggling, if youre in pain, if youre upset, if youre mad, if youre hurt, if you have love, if youre feeling kind, everyone is in different states of mind some are connected to what everyone is feeling that good be “the game” and some are not connected to what everyone is feeling good by “the game” it’s not anything you are taught to follow or read into, what things are about, only later in life is that something you ever need to worry or think twice about.

Self-harm isn’t a joke, is an extreme emotional response, that no one should have to endure or go through in life that has nothing to do with beauty, jobs, or relationships, no one is that heartbreaking and no one has done you that wrong in life, that any self harm is about what anyone thinks of you, or a reflection of your own life, everyone is different. If youre on meds you are likely to have your breaking points, it can be a “frustrating” experience, to be disabled, and there is nothing that being disabled teaches you about how to be abled again, you either do things right and recover or it doesn’t happen for you and you struggle, so my recovery is not a perfect example of what any recovery should look like, most who endure disability suffer for the rest of their lives, and I may be one of them, but Im not a charity case, and I also don’t need to be made to feel bad about it. Not matter what meds Im on, nothing can explain how self-harm is caused and Im not going to talk about it, because that’s not the solution, and I also don’t want to give out any excuses for what a feeling of pain is like or how that is caused or recite any formula or justification for when and how that occurs to whom at what age or for what reasons, and lets not make anything about appearance or weight, that’s always a non-issue for me. I think the problem with sharing is whatever difficulty you have had becomes the joke to others, so if its self-harm that becomes a joke ab out you, if its suicide, that becomes a joke about you, the reasons and their experience during those years is not for additional study about other people, I get who I am or who could know me and I would never in any way shape or form be a person who anyone would feel sad by or hear about and worry about, that’s not my personality type. There is no excuse for suicide, and there is no excuse for M pills, or any pills sold on Snapchat, and no excuse for the CashApp homicide, there is nothing that Im experiencing in life that not real or make me protected from anything that has occurred to successful people, who do not deserve to be harmed. I think there is a serious misunderstanding of what loyalty is and what its about, that not even popularity and stats can guarantee that people will feel like their concerns are being read, trust that if your concerns are not vocalized then its not a present issue Im faced with or causing me disability or forcing me to speak to anything, that’s not the “loose lips that sinks ships” loose lips that sink ships is about a system in place that fails to work upon outing a person or a system that is working for others, and not crediting the stats as an accurate indicator that what I have said so far is palatable to the tastes of most and not concern causing or a 911 call. Therefore there is no shocking or rude awakening that is occurring to anyone, that anyone should be harmed by anyone who is “tipped” or given any information about life, that anyone should feel threatened by, Im not a criminal, I am not harming anyone, my story is a good story that is including my own life pictures and videos, and I am not drawing attention to anyone from my family, nor is it a joke about what are the causes for dispelling information from a human being as though their secret should be known, is nothing but a “loose lips sinks ships” joke about something that I have said stating that a secret is inappropriate if it is something that you should remember or hear that doesn’t make sense. So that was my definition, of what can occur. Therefore me writing books and talking about life, is not a secret that Im sharing in private with anyone, or putting myself in a position that anyone else should read of be made close to me or to cause repetition in anything that I have said to match any others document that I have written is not a proper strategy for determining how intuitive and in control a person is of their own body and mind, that’s just room for misunderstanding. Therefore please don’t accuse me of thinking something that another will think based on a date with Aaron, that’s not science that’s not proven, I know him we are connected, therefore please don’t accuse me of keeping anything in my head to cite to anything he has said, to accuse me of carrying some truth or secret or inappropriate humor about rape, homicide, gay, bisexuality, to accuse me of not being who I am to wrongfully accuse me of becoming anything Im not to fit in anywhere for any rule, I don’t have to keep any secrets, I don’t have to say anything that anyone needs to know, and I don’t need to be accused of being a person online who is subjected to harm and hacked, treated as though I would allow for anyone else who is a human being to be watched and read or studied without their permission, or to hold trial and wrongfully accuse me of any losses, that I have not forewarned anyone of the conditions that I was put under in life, and let it be known that my fears didn’t matter then, and shouldn’t matter now.