If there is ever a worry for end results, and made to question yourself, don’t be too hard on yourself, you’ll know when you are bound for results that cant be overcome, know yourself first, you can’t predict and know what others think or whats governing anyones decisions or thoughts in life, we all lead different lives, have different exposures, upbringings, childhoods, memories, friends, jobs, and lives, so whats relatable? Why is improvement so relatable what is the common denominator to “improvement” and “end results” is what you put into your day and what you do or say is what brings you more toward any period of “end results” which is sometimes nothing that you can see or predict or feel coming or be feeling good to know what will happen next or when a better feeling will arrive. This is one of the biggest dilemmas to viewing a blog as a group project or coming to understand voices as a team for or against you in life, whatever is the dependency on is in what way does a good feeling or bad feeling say anything about whats to come or where one or anyone is bound for, in retrospect as we improve, it may matter more to us as we get older more organized less side tracked more focused on work and places and positions in life in which we are paid rewarded and recognized on the books for our defined “work” and others careers aren’t recognized as work such as “writing, book writing and blogging,” and while I may have motivation at no predictable moment in time, theres no feeling of certainty that you get before you begin to challenge yourself to do things you don’t feel like doing, like weight loss, improvement, job applications rejections negotiations, volunteer work, childhood story or therapy, therapy as an adult, 12 steps again and again, there is always work to be done before one can move forward, and that goes for you as a person and to any relationship which is defined as people in tune with one another working together aware of how one another feels and communicating in ways with respect to how one another appears functions and encourages independence pride confidence trust and sense of peace of things going to be alright and work out, that’s the gift or monogamy and relationships the feeling of things are going to work out. So what is so aggravating about voices to mention, its not an outing of a tech experiment, or a private strategy for change or exchange that I don’t feel or am affected by, or a condition that Ive ever insulted I didn’t call voices schizophrenia or label them words and terms, I have never described my experience as a human being as composed of anything in me or around me needed to be removed or changed that’s not what improvement is about clensing, I have always viewed beauty as something that you recognize about you and that everyone is capable of being beautiful and that the key lies in what you hold within is who you appear as on the outside, all other remaining issues, we are not all the same, so no person is promised a look of acceptance and no one is challenged by being changed by people in ways they don’t allow themselves to be. My story is real inspiring honest of value and connected to real victims and celebrities whos privacy means more to me than any name dropping can do to explain life, death, cancer, success, love, or how anyone knows or recognizes and find meaning in one another, maybe Im the charity cause that you cant understand why anyone with voices schizophrenia would inspire the Kardashians or be a person forgotten from anyones life, I don’t think Ive ever been that obscure or private in life at any point in time, its just a fact of life, once you start working you have less time for being out in public, and when you have moments of rest can be around others, its something that we all look forward to. So whats so visible wrong with my writing as someone with schizophrenia whats the pattern that cant be overcome or constant occurrences and visible sign of mental illness and what does it look like and sound like?

Stage One: Recovery, Sobriety, Treatment, Medical History, Timeline

Stage Two: Sharing your timelines and medical history and being honest to inspire

Stage Three: Awareness for challenges mental, recovery possible or permanent.

Stage Four: Being read and witnessed by people not hospitalized and confusion over if you are bipolar.

Stage Five: Wellness, Staying Well, and Goal Setting.

Stage Six: Performing and making a good impression, and overcome all downs and disability.

Stage Seven: Describing a Down and Disability, and Not Recognized from Coming Out of Disability.

Stage Eight: Things working out and things not working out, and when or why is dating ever the issue?

Stage Nine: Hopes, Dreams, Moments of Inspiration, Working Hard Effort Shown, or What Changes.

Stage Ten: Believed if you are doing many things, not believed if you are not doing many things well.

Stage Eleven: Different Meds, Sounding Different, Different types of Disability, and Changed IQ voice.

Stage Twelve: Medical Care Improvement, Being Judged for Medical Care and Improvement Judged.

Stage Thirteen: Pattern of Shame and Destruction: Brain Health: Able, Not Able, Struggling, Cant Type, Slow, Shocked, Frozen, Cant Write, Challenged to Speak, Not Writing Enough, Speaking to Hurt, Getting Hurt, Not Given a Chance to Write and Speak Absent Painful Subjects, Self-Harm Revisited, And the Clear Issue is “mental illness” is clear whenever I am (1) fighting (2) arguing (3) giving up (4) maxed out (5) past my limit of comfort (6) represented well successful and forced to fight sound stupid to change my stats numbers and what people think (7) the constant sickness caused by the words “self harm” and “suicide” and the constant feeling of sickness and anger toward you as though you’ve failed or not a positive person letting anyone down (8) recognition of code being made, and doing my best to protect and separate everyone else in the world who is embraced by what is fun to think about, and not be considered credited or taking part or not deserving of being among any states of appreciation in a period of quiet reflection and peace on life and what life means and what I mean to myself in life or to others.

Lesson: So whats mental illness and how does improvement happen.

Mental Illness is like “Disability” its not that your not smart, or don’t try hard, its what do you work for?

Mental Illness is about are you slow or challenged because of dislike is what voices think.

Mental Illness is about what you sound like shouting fighting and punching your head to illustrate that who I was and am for 38 years of life, is changed to represent a sudden challenge or difficulty or imagined battle with mental illness that is not recognized as overcoming, is how it happens again, after hospital, therefore what brings me back to a normal comprehension of life in terms or filtered approachable and can share in a room full of people? Probably not what mental illness sounds like.

What does mental illness sound like? Mental illness is hearing voices being made to be threatened beat up by voices and when beaten up made to feel hurt, and when hurt made to experience pain, and the inability to speak, and the subsequent self harm, means what can be done instead, if you cant speak and if your head hurts and you are in pain, what causes self destruction, anytime anyone doesn’t care about how you feel or respect your limits, is a destruction of how you feel, self-esteem, makes you not want to exist, when you are convinced you are something you are not and if everyone thinks you “terms” “suicide” “schizophrenia” “cancer” “medical reasons” the risk to health is not getting better, viewed as sick, and sometimes things happen to you not because of your beliefs but because of what others think so a battle with voices is a challenging concept related to self harm and suicide, and that’s my only knowledge of what causes suicide and self harm “voices” speaking sick to you, not your own voice. So unfortunately there is no scientific reason or proof that that exists so its no important to discuss, and sometimes you are made to experience January 2017 again, because they don’t believe why you committed suicide so punching my head November 2022 and September 2023, means whats true about committing suicide, that no matter what meds you are on, no matter what your coping strategies are it can happen without scientific proof or explanation, and no considered your fault, and something that “voices” do not consider their fault, so what is the point of affecting my ability to write perform weight face beauty date success dysfunction shouting or being mean back, is to say I deserve to be attacked or bullied so that voices are forgiven and understood is the lesson about being hated, that whether you know people or not, and whether it can be proven or not, its about whether its your fault, so the challenge with mental illness and disability, is constantly slowed down and challenged in regards to focus performance function and ability to work, because it becomes a joke of changing you back and forth from shouting “Tourette is a side effect of many years on anti-psychotics so after 10 years on ant—psychotics everyday” please consider challenges half me and not a matter of not pushing myself trying, if Im giving 150% and cant get to writing or a clearing of normalcy like a PHP or IOP Group Setting can provide then whats punishing me is pretending what if I said mean things hurtful to others, isn’t how an issue is quieted or made better to treat me as “voices” and not forgive me but forgive them, there are better uses of being a human being other than to torture or hurt a woman to make anyone feel good is not how good women happen, is not what makes women look cute and sweet and is not what makes men feel proud or safe turning a good woman into stupid or grose doesn’t teach anyone anything about life or how life should be, life isn’t a health joke, Im 38 years old, so maybe staying home, is the solution to where I belong or where Im headed, and I cant afford to get sick make mistakes, and Ive done my best so please forgive me fighting voices out loud and shouting, which subjects me to being attack not defend.