At a time of lost hope, financial ruin, social graces confused for insulting wit, no one knows how to make anyone feel good, and if a code hasn’t been established yet that feels good everyone knows and cam relate to, let not the painful parts of life confuse you for what to love, hate, or believe in. Life is about the heading its about who you are as a person and how you feel, and while you may think set back by argument boundaries and inability to set goals and move forward is a threat, ultimately whats apparent is disability, so while I may fail everytime to prevent arguments, lets not make life about who we are look like, likes, or force people to feel good by eachother, expect that to be love or mutual enamourment healthy, you will only love what you find beauty in and unfortunately my ultimate value was not found, through writing, or given the opportunity to share whats beautiful about my life and positive which is what people need right now, so a lesser life is of no benefit to anyone, or misshaped body and an ugly face and haircut that definitely wont prevent voices, this is my 4^th or 5^th attempt at addressing voices, and its only 4pm and my head hurts, after self-harm September 7^th tired and voices would not stop, what Ive learned is that a description of your hurt, hurts you everytime, what you’ve been through brought up hurts you everytime, every loss hurts and is painful, any moment self-harming is painful and doesn’t make you feel good now.

So the lesson in sharing a story of mental health as though hospitalization isn’t shocking enough, what does mental illness look like and how is it caused, its unfortunate to have been hospitalized many times and for some reason I was never remembered as I was when I was aliving and working hard, and for some reason people think feeling is or improving is by things not said, Ive shared and recored everything I do any face creams cardio schedules and modeled life will never make sense because at 38 nothing stays, you age, you cant take chances, you have no reason to fight, and you don’t have the strength for dislike at 38 life is about being popular or making money or stats, so however it happens by health face photo, sometimes we will never know why people are liked, and sometimes it’s a game of turning people into someone no one likes, but so long as you improve and stay out of trouble harm no one and are not harmed, you can work again have a life and date and that was 10 years worth not giving up no matter how challenging it was to get a job always finding something to do in the middle of those life challenges in life and minimal opportunities.