As someone who has been in recover for years sober AND mental health issues medication changes over a 10 year period, it took time to become an adult, and to be able to work apply for jobs and be accepted, and in those moments upon return, always be proud of yourself for being exactly where you wanted to be in life moving forward, reconnecting with old friends, or loves in life, and for there to be a mutual pride in one another for where they are and how far they have come, I guess that’s life in your 30’s.

There is so much to be thankful for, and when things become short sighted by personal issues, and the day to day struggles of the “real world” what can be done, but take a step back. When you rise above you don’t allow the anger of others to make or break you, and the normalcy of complaint, should similarly be accepted as perplexing, as to what is so difficult for another person to simply respect you as a human being and not take their anger out on you, it could be racism, fame, or not being pretty, but I don’t think I have ever lived a life and have ever had to face the issues current boiling beneathe the surface. When there is anger and upset what do people want, money and peace, they want to feel good, they want to recognize the value in one another, and expect for a shared sense of pride, that another is doing exactly what they need to do in life, and that what they are doing with their lives, is not getting in the way of their life, or anyones life, and that’s what success is money, so not having money has become a catalyst for disrespect, so has the non-accpetance of writing as a career.

There is no such thing as being tough or being tough how to be tough or think that being tough is some street social skill that a woman who is educated is an air head to, being attacked and what that feels like, it shouldn’t happen not to me not to any woman on earth. When that standards change you wonder what is the rumored truth about you that is so unacceptable to others, who you are or who you aren’t, and sometimes I think its that people come to believe that you are something worse than you are is the problem with rumored opinions viewed as direct commentary intended to denominate you or excuse non acceptance as some new disposition that you should acquire to make you unhappy or not beautiful as you are. I improved, it never mattered, and shouldn’t matter now.

I think being fed up with voices in life caused me delete all my writing from my iphone, which was just additional saved writing that was all email forwarded to the US Supreme Court anyways, so it was sent, and photos kept on my iphone, so it’s not that my records are not kept and backed up, its in what way should voices stop upon deletion of my data, and in what way should my data not have been good enough to prevent voices or their hate or anger directed toward me, what don’t they have that I have, an ability to work and write online, which anyone can from their position speak to the subjects just mentioned on my Twitter. Its no easier for anyone, and there is not better solution than to care, and to vocalize those cares through writing that is helpful to the times, is better to create, than to blame anyone or to frustrate anyones ability to see that help is divided and shared equally among us, there is not such thing as entitlement, whenever someone is victimized including me, its not justified it never is.

So 2022 was the only year I was social and dated, and have since discontinued dating, and also will not be applying for jobs, based on the amount of controversy and difficulty being accepted and going through the process of being accepted for a job and making the transition from unemployed, or working everyday a successful blogger, to working in an office with other people working, and take care of clients and help to address their needs. Seems like if you are a client, and have to take care of yourself that would make you unavailable to help others, not unless you are a blogger and help everyone online and continuously for the past 10 years, and beginning again after fires, doesn’t mean that fires were not prevented based on how things were then defective or now, that’s the false belief in why bad things occur, a symptom of distress, disorganization, sadness, that is recognizable to all upon taking a look around and expressing an opinion of violence, theft, gangs, fighting, mental health, protests, etc, it’s a lot to consume and a lot to take in all the unhappiness in the world and what its all about? So remember who you are and where you are coming from and make sure that you are coming from a good place, when you are coming from a good place, good things happen to you, whoever you are mad or upset about when and why, and there is improvement that’s viewable on you, as well as you maybe hates you, disregards your feelings, hacks you, disturbs you, causes you visible evidence of mental illness, not existing for the entirety of your life, and begins to make a show about your instability, and what does that tell one about life, that is instability makes anger happy, then its my instability that pleases anger toward me, and by making me unstable and suffer or be hurt, is to witness what I sound like frustrated, or upset, is disabled, and think that some random cure or word sums up what that’s about and how its caused, if there is nothing I can do about the diagnosis, then what to do about my data, is to discontinue access to me records for viewing, and discontinuing documents already sent, so that’s being fed up with voices, its not that Im upbhappy or not successful it is because I successful can date again, and had options, and being interviewed for jobs, that’s what makes me a success story, but as life will have it I cannot be successful until who is connecting to me bringing me down, humiliating me, embarrassing me, and causing me to shout and be suicidal for days, and without consideration of hospitalization stop pestering me, and bothering me, and wont leave me alone, keeps aggravating me, what is harassment, something that I do, or what is done to me, sounds like the opposite is occurring.

Never forget that its not my disinterest in others, that’s about likes beauty or who I am its about disinterest in me and whats that’s about, accept incompatibilities in life, accept not seeing the beauty in me or in people you choose to dislike, accept where voices come from someone connected form your past or a past experience that is used as excuse to hurt you now, and whats startling about who you become as aggaravte3d, is your beauty lost, its saying things to make voices feel good, and in dehumanizing a person who is made better, who hates you, who is unhappy, who thinks that they are disadvantaged, and what happens when a joke is not viewed as made in your favor, is to accuse you of deletion or destruction, the only thing destroyed is my head on my body! Not my words, not my intelligence, not my fitness, not my ability to live and thrive in life, destruction isn’t a win for anyone!