I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately, what makes me happy. What are my needs and wants, and of absolute necessity. I think over the years, I’ve changed a lot but some things remain the same. Companionship is definitely on the top of my list of must haves, which at 38 years old comes in the form of an imaginary pen pal, creating this relationship online with a person, whether he reads or not, that fulfills that basic need of feeling heard, not feeling alone, and able to overcome whatever emotions are thrown my way. As a blogger developing over the years, there have been serious moments and not so serious moments, and I know in those moments who has been there for me on messenger or Instagram and so grateful for being able to get to chat with others, without whom, I don’t think my blog would have been as big of a success as Im trying to make it out to be, it will get there, still figuring out odds and ends and monetizing.

Write a list of 5 things that make you happy, here is mine:

• Writing to someone I love and/or admire.
• Building friendships online, with my audience, and in real life.
• Getting to know myself and my mental health condition.
• Going to AA meetings, and just praying about it.
• Spending time with family and loved ones.

You don’t have to be happy all the time, to be a positive person. You just have to allow yourself to have those moments in life when you are not feeling super energetic and outgoing and want to keep to yourself, and not allow yourself to fall down that hole in life, depression, it gets the best of us. It’s that time of year when we are told depression is on the rise, so this time around, then start with a list of what makes us happy and choose to focus on those things instead of worrying and harping on the past and all the things that pain us. Things will get better.

They say to be a happy person, you should focus on doing things that you are good at, what gives you a sense of achievement? [1] What makes you feel good? In fact self-esteem might be the culprit when it comes to how we feel about ourselves. It’s with low self-esteem that we are hard on ourselves and get stuck doing things in life that don’t always bring us the reward in the end, so avoid those activities. Do things that make you feel strong, feel smart, feel wise, feel proud. Read books, exercise, call friends, reach out to people, send emails, stay connected.

In order to be a happy person, you have to see the positive in everything. [2] Focus on your outlook, and start cutting out negative thinking from your life. Remember the days when you used to see the good in others, always hopeful and looking forward to things in life. Whatever happened to that genuine sense of awe that you ever felt about people including yourself. Where did that person go, she/he/they probably got stuck thinking the world was coming to an end and everyone was talking about them, and didn’t like what they saw in the mirror, they probably told themselves to quit, or to stay home that one day, or to not sign up for that hobby club, or not make that dating profile. That person has got to go, the one that holds you back in life from change, and keeps you doing the same thing everyday expecting a different result. Loneliness, Ive been there, haven’t we all. Well if you don’t want to be that lonely, cranky person, dulled by negative thoughts, then get your shine back!

To be a happy person, means taking care of your mind, body and soul. [3] It means setting goals and coming up with a schedule for the day. It means communicating effectively your needs and wants so that you get out of the day what you need to get done to feel like the best version of yourself. What are your relationships like with others. When we are focused on fostering our relationships, we in turn nourish that inner sense of self, belonging, and feeling valued heard and apart of. So when you don’t put the effort into those things to generate those feelings within, then where else can you go to get that feeling? Something to think about, we can’t do everything on our own, so don’t be afraid to be social, even on a small level. So get back out there, and good luck!

Reference:

[1] https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/self-help/tips-and-support/how-to-be-happier/

[2] https://lifegoalsmag.com/20-bite-sized-habits-to-become-a-happier-person/

[3] https://www.lifehack.org/articles/communication/7-scientifically-proven-ways-the-happiest-person-earth.html