I’ll give it another try, return to writing, on my 3rd bottle of Vyvanse and see if I can manage to keep it together this time around to write everyday. You forget when you take breaks or time off to rest, how hard it is to get going again. So please excuse the rough start since April, overcoming a tough transition leaving my job upon being told I needed to go to more treatment after 7 months of continuous programs attended residential hospital day time full time, and part time IOP, I try my best always, but sometimes you just feel hurt like after all my hard work and attendance this is how I’m being made to feel about my mental health not confident be forced to hear an opinion of me in observance of me, that something is so wrong with me to need to be on lock down for another month, I find that hard to believe and accept. I think I did the right thing not return so quick to blogging give it time to set in, that I’m not allowed to complain or be emotional and risked 5 months of sober living got yes replies to all questions any time I wanted to leave or go home a flexible work schedule worked from my apartment while living outside of home, and just happy to overcome what it was like to drink, go out, briefly a few times in the neighborhood and lose trust and my right to live peacefully at home with family. Who has a solution for that, even my apartment complex coordinated with my sister to take my car keys away and lock me out of the building. Sometimes tough love is undeserved and sometimes necessary but as someone who works online a writer and graduated from law school I’m not alcoholic or a drug addict and able to get a job I know my worth and got a job at Engleman Law, with a resume that mentioned my blogging information for review, and was picked based on that review of my public image and education and experience which is hard to do, I fear instead of recognizing my luck getting a job earned my Boss’s previous employer The Cochran Firm which I shouldn’t have mentioned to anyone was used to interpret my job as hired because I know OJ and grew up best friends with his daughter. I think when I get another job and ask for $20 an hour or interview for $35/$40 an hour Century City jobs that will prove I’m working hard a machine despite my appearance at group home and AA meetings, so I’m upset something went wrong in how my “outbursts” were interpreted facing difficulty moving out starting to move my things at least I asked and didn’t pick up and disappear it was a group decision waited for all treatment teams to end my IOP/PHP and try to plan the next phases in my recovery. What I want is to start writing publish books make money on my own then go back to paralegal work challenge myself do legal writing, calendaring, client contact, interview clients, write personal injury legal letters to opposing counsel (creative writing created on my own there’s no format that can be copied because all cases are different I made my own templates to use there forward). So I’m sorry if there was some confusion as to my confidence and state of mind leaving and after 7 months to be questioned and find my way on my own now 2 months later on and off meds okay can make it either way, ready to go back to AA meetings and see my housemates and house manager. I’m sure whatever else is unclear about my social status and reputation and crowd effects can be proven through blogging and writing everyday not by showing up judging my posture in a crowd. Some people don’t have their using stories down and for me right now I’m working on getting jobs not trash my identity anywhere be talked about deflated or downgraded in importance based on my recovery experience over the years on my own before it became trendy.