I think a happy ending is for everyone who tried to help me, to be protected, and feel good knowing that they helped someone, who deserved to be helped, was honest, and made the most of their time while in treatment, taken off meds. I think that disappointment and challenge is something I am going to have to work through for the rest of my life, from being a blogger, and knowing someone famous.

Based on all the trauma over the past 4 years, 2020 through 2024, everyone has been through enough in life, that most have decided to get well and stay well and value one another, work hard and continue to adjust to life, amongst those staying well, and have compassion for those suffering. I think based on being in court. I am instead believed to be someone who causes harm, or am accused of being strong in a way that is offensive or intimidates others, as someone who gets voices and called schizophrenic, sensitive, who works hard constantly overcoming bullying or feeling suicidal, that’s been a private struggle how I have been harmed, and when blamed and punished for being harmed, figured out a way to keep writing whether in public or at home, in a way that demonstrated that I was working hard on staying well, and did not want to suffer and always with forgiveness.

It is expected that you move forward in life, with a goal of having people not hurt you, or be subjected to a life that people turn on you based on sickness or wellness, use as excuse to predetermine, when its okay to be mad at me, support me, or not support me, use the treatment of someone pen paling me from Texas, as a voice you trust more than my own, misunderstand support and assurances that he wont hurt me again, misunderstand death threats as not being my fault, and that his struggle to value me is also not my fault, or my doing. I think when I struggle I am reminded of any person’s anger or ways of hurting me or intimidating me as sought to be justified, by accusing me as being someone who doesn’t work hard and stay well.

I am sorry that by describing when I have been hurt doesn’t seek to prevent causing me illness now, create for excuses when to give up on me or to justify anger towards me, as something failed on my part, to stay well.

So long as you choose to empathize with who you thinks loves me and hurts me, then please don’t judge me for not staying well and being able to date, or wonder how my life is being ruined to keep me further away from integrating or being among people and in contact with them.

A happy ending is when people who know you or using medical care as people you support and believe in and continue to dislike me if you think Im sick by choice or meds, or alcohol, or rebelling. I think past me not being supportive, there are any number of ways in which people who help me look better than me, and win in life, so long as I keep getting sick or don’t move forward and get well.

There may be a simple solution, or a way of being on or of meds, that Im supposed to not think, or function or be given a hard time, and not be hurt, or criticize me for being hurt and misinterpreting being hurt or pushed in a way too defensive and laughable.

It’s gotten to the point, that by not feeling well, I get bullied by voices, and risk being hurt as though I have changed as a writer. I think I suffer and Im made to change, and that’s not fun for me or entertaining to struggle, or lose confidence, be criticized, hurt my feelings, or not respect my writing, think Im delusional, when I recover and am doing well, or think I’m suicidal when I’m not just because Im describing what I went through and how I’ve been hurt.

The solution is to be myself based on court now, and continue to focus on my health and getting well, the solution will continue to be amongst those who are doing well, and not struggling and not disabled, and not sued, and that will always be their winning team, and a team in life of wellness Im excluded from based on not thinking I am well and continue to challenge my mental health, now, or question who I was. I think this is a challenge I will face for the rest of my life, whether you care how open I am, whether you respect my struggle, or like what I plan to say to a Judge, or don’t like what I have to say, the only person who can get me through court is myself, not an Attorney, not a Judge, not a lawsuit, not anyone who Ive supported, past or present, when I keep getting sick, its about me representing myself and doing my best to stay well, without looking bad, or being ridiculed for shouting.

It’s been made clear to me that I have no right to privacy, my phone I used to record to me no conversation is private, no period in time is good enough, and accept that for what it means, if life is about challenging me and wrongfully accusing me, then I don’t have to pretend like I think Im being watched when I know why Im not trusted and when my life is not valued as watched, means to not photo, fix myself, its inappropriate to be obese, I am not allowed to drink, I am not allowed to go out or be social, I am not allowed to date, I am not allowed to pen pal, I am not allowed to video, or model, and I am supposed to stay alive for court, I can’t change what court means to anyone a win or loss, and can accept my losses, or when things don’t work out and for how that affects court, I also reserve the right to take breaks in writing, if I keep getting sick, based on court it will never be enough, know that I did my best was diagnosed with schizophrenia put on meds, and punished for the rest of my life and years wasted, so please don’t misinterpret my boundaries and instability as a closeness that existed that I am not rejecting, there is only so much torture and wrongdoing toward me, until I have to not try anymore, and worry about myself, I consider my suffering my loss, my hard work not enough to keep me alive or let me move forward, and will continue to face difficulty for the rest of my life, for being a blogger, and modeling and taking selfies and tracking my progress,.

I can accept that because of court you will never understand me, you will think diagnosis is excuse, you will think struggle or suicide is selfish, I think Im doing the right thing to take a step back, I don’t have to have experience with getting sick or being told Im sick after doing my best.

I don’t have to have experience with getting sick, and I don’t have to be punished as though Im not a good person, be accused of being offensive. So let me go to court if I need help, stop giving me a hard time about twitter or writing online, or blog, or stats, or what any of that means, and allow me to figure out how to stay well and what my limits are without judging me, and respect my struggle being given a hard time in life, without pretending like no one is being mean to me, or act like I don’t want to stay well and move forward. I can now accept that nothing will be good enough as shared when you don’t respect me and think Im sick and that’s a new truth that I will have to accept, and continue to drive to court and talk to the Judge for as many years as it takes to get well and stay well, without being harmed, or use voices and hacking to make fun of me or what self harm is.