It’s impossible to live life constantly disabled punished use a diagnosis of schizophrenia to treat me as someone taking a med that a diagnosis means should not be prescribed and continue to question me as a patient or functionality ability focus or make fun of who I am or what’s uncomfortable about disclosing that I’m close to the Simpson family, life isn’t about being special having best friends or losing best friends, working on yourself, I can’t explain life any better than to do your best listen to your parents and in how many ways choices are decided for you, that you have to trust, anyone worried for your safety, innocence, not endanger myself, not be out at night, or comprehend moving home and losing my home to anyone other than me was a suggestion or choice made by me that made me suddenly a dependent or changed my lifestyle to be about anything difficult. For as many times as I’m made fun of for my truth, no matter how many times you make fun of my 4^th step or breakups, I can accept Im doing my best, I know that I have to lose weight be successful fix all political issues concerning my resume and politics to be hired I know my interview chances in Century City were 2/200 applications, I always knew those were highly coveted jobs requiring a lot of experience to be given any secretary or paralegal job trusted be in any law firm, with or without law school. In so many ways it was never easy to lose any job for any reason doing my best, or ever about money or location or preference related to how love happens or whats beautiful about people who work and are professional figuring out how to work be given assignments work with each employee or make fun of dressing proper a selfie, having my own office, being given the keys to an office, working in the office, and cleaning AirBnbs, make fun of being scolded missing a listing, like where I am or my ability to work or be asked for opinion by licensed law students and attorneys, anything about me witnessing a hardship that made me smart or  more able unaware of any difficult or pace of work. I think I worked hard in law school for 3 years studied, on as prescribed drug tested blood work done, had a boyfriend in Orange County and never needed extra meds, not prescribed more than 2 or 3, a third was told no, and kept a full schedule working full time in sales marketing, and going to class at night, I was never not working or in school part time, failing or responsible for anything related to my Brother or Sister, its not fun to change, and maybe however I was or lived is something I don’t recognize I should be able to be fun, no matter how hard or focused law school is, instead of making fun of any bullying period familial or relationship wise, it’s important to do your best whether you have addiction, not able to finish law school, travel, get back into law school, just stay home is lesson on being pulled over, that’s not my choice, my car, my fault, not a DUI, its until you accept the truth and the 10 years it takes plus broadcasted report of a record that doesn’t exist, isn’t me being avoidant of how being punished or arrested ended my life not the solution, in the end instead of making fun of what suicide is or self harm, allow me to just stay home, no matter whether I’m not responding or getting bad grades, it’s not me who suddenly is lying or ignoring anyone who loves me, that’s the wrong way to view mental health or struggling in school, however my life happens or is decided, I know my path in life, I know my progress, gifts, and privileges in life, and I’m  not afraid to care about scary subjects or be honored to meet the US Supreme Court. I know I did my best. Please accept what being loved, liked, wrong, interrogated, texted and attacked is about, and not make fun of me punching my head or feeling suicidal, in the end it’s not me who needs to punish myself worried about committing suicide, it’s about staying home and not being punished period, I know my worth and my truth, and I’ve not changed, some place worse or imagined that I’m leaving a life for any imagined better life I am not already responsible for creating for myself, success in academics. I’m not allowed to be out, take breaks, be social, make friends, drink, suffer from self harm or mental illness, or be accused of having money to be at the bar everyday, in fact I was given no money when I was invited to the bar, so I can’t control what is thought, I’m not throwing my life away, or any place better, I’m allowed time to focus on myself think about life, move forward, it’s so difficult to be sick, be rejected, liked, loved, viewed as intelligent respected in school get a Witken Award or make fun of anyone’s health or destiny in life, instead appreciate all times I ever struggled fixing my life focusing on my mental health organizing boxes for storage, saving data on my computers, or accuse me of running long distances doing anything wrong. I never complained that I ever got sick, ignored, visited, lost my apartment, or a faith joke, relationships aren’t a joke, love isn’t a competition that anyone is more experienced with when marriage happens or who’s suffering matters more, it hurts to struggle and suddenly be accused of not being worth it a waste of time not special I never hurt anyone who loved me, I showed my medical records, you know instead of what was done to me, stop accusing me of doing anything to Aaron Brown, my family never judged him, I never judged his family, I never got sick or couldn’t drive enthusiastic and I never cheated or offended in a way that I was hurt is not my fault. Sometimes no one knows how sickness happens or what life is about until you don’t care if I exist and if that’s the attitude in Yorba Linda, those are ways in which I was hurt like my struggle affected anyone, everyone got to be alone, reject me, be unavailable, busy, I don’t let anyone down or help anyone up, or judge any haircut as a preference ignored, Im not responsible for anything difficult about knowing OJ, or afraid of politics, didn’t read big books too, instead of not respecting why I didn’t move forward, Im sorry I can’t accept visiting The US Supreme Court deal with anyones feelings giving me a hard time focused on myself, I’m tired of being called mean or make fun of my body life choices, like sex is easy not a victim, if you didn’t love I had an amazing boyfriend, that’s who I lost due to traveling or getting poor grades, that’s for me to figure out why Im not smart anymore can’t figure out law school no one explains to you when you can’t study or why you cant take exams or memorize anything.