It’s now been 3 years since the diagnosis, and it’s now become clear to me, that it is being used as an excuse to portray me as though I am having a difficulty mentally based on what is, as though anything has been misinterpreted by me, to cause people to think there is something wrong with me, and as though some later condition has already taken hold, that Im someone who would change, or be confrontational to the expressions of others. I think once people don’t respect you, they have no reason to care about your feelings, and when people are insensitive to you whether or not that’s intended to hurt you, when someone is convinced that you are nobody, that is how someone who was somebody and respected is made to get mental illness, so this is what the diagnosis of schizophrenia is for, its to say, that theres something wrong with me that cannot be changed, and is not the fault of others, so to not worry or become invested in what I am going through, and it causes people to believe that what you are saying is not true or doesn’t make sense. So that’s how a person is treated when they have improved, not believed to be who they are, so that how a person is questioned. Whereby if in defense of myself, do not allow myself to be watched or stalked or harassed by voices, if I become combative or not compliant, meaning I stop writing, and stop providing quotes, and stop describing my condition, then who is ultimately being affected by my condition? I would ultimately be affected if I am changed to a person who is hurt, who is giving up in life, or who doesn’t see the good natured humor in others, when I get sick then that becomes a threat to who is making fun of me, so that’s what the diagnosis is for, suddenly if you question or feel hurt, that you are accused of hurting the feelings of others, which means if Im watched and made fun of and not respected, then at the same token Im not watching anyone, or criticizing what theyre about or what their intent is, if the intent is to hurt me and make me look stupid, then I cant change that fact in life, if someone is mesmerized by how mental illness is caused and fascinated with making me look stupid, then please don’t expect me to explain it to anyone, or allow myself to go through the motions, of being hurt in the head by anything that anyone thinks. I think overall, things are good when people are learning and have permissions to be themselves, and when no ones feelings are hurt, that’s when expressions are respected for what they are worth, not shining light on subjects as though things are made with the intent to be about you or hurt your feelings. So that’s how schizophrenia made things confusing where it became a definition for making fun of a person without them knowing it, and causing sickness to a person on the basis of not believing them when they are well. No one can tell you how to live life, and no one who gives up on you deserves to hear from you, or get the satisfaction of proving you wrong in life, or declaring you schizophrenic. I don’t have to live a short life, in fact Im not choosing to live a short life, and I don’t choose to waste a single day on earth, being confused by what a definition means, or question the value of my privacy, which isn’t a TV show it isn’t for research, and it isn’t for making fun of me, or trying to figure me out, that you can figure out with everything that is published online. I don’t think anyone deserves to see how I improved or deserves and explanation for whatever caused me whatever changes in life, you know if they called it schizophrtenia, I don’t have to explain it and someone else who judges people by how they look and speak and write, can tell you what they identify to be wrong with people, and something they cannot change about themselves, that doesn’t mean Im dying or suicidal, and doesn’t mean that anything is chronically wrong with me or not going to last. If for everytime you don’t believe me when Im well, then I will have to consider why are you trying to prove that Im not well and who is that pleasing. Then everytime something bad happens, I will take a step back, and think what can help, especially what can help me, not be hurt and also make sure that no one else is hurt and in what way am I being factored into anything when Im chill with everyone, so that’s misinterpreting people trying to help me in life, then think what is real. If the bullying isn’t real, and the voices aren’t real, then I have every right to protect myself and get well, and don’t deserve my information to be on the dark web, my body and my brain is not for connecting to people who don’t care about my body or my brain and how many connections I can handle to my computer or to my brain, so I have every right to rest when I don’t feel well and that’s not about anyone. Things are obviously not fun when people who are feeling good by one thing or strong by other things, are made to dislike you, that makes life not fun. How is pride relevant. Pride is relevant in that my love who who I love is not respected, and women do not like me don’t friend me and are not nice to me, on the basis of being obese or not pretty or taken seriously, so that’s something I cant control or cant fix, that doesn’t mean that I belong somewhere gay, that also is not the solution, that if Im not respected by certain women, the it doesn’t matter which type of women, I will also be assumed or made to feel uncomfortable and not belong, therefore gay is not the solution. So what is the permanent change being sought, its ruining my life and my mental health on the basis of being made fun of, for my relationship to not have been respected and ruined sued, and to be made fun of for who I dated and make that a big deal over who I end up with in life. If people don’t want to see me end up with anyone in life, then Im sure that I will end up with no one, if trying to get a job seems undeserved Im sure that I will get voices and be made sick and not be able to work, life works like that people have to support you in order for things to happen for you in life, otherwise people ruin your life and think they are entitled to on the basis of their happiness, or time wasted, so not being of value is about not being treated as a person who is different than they have appeared in 10 years, suddenly destroy my life, and accuse me of lying or not telling the truth, when have I ever lied, or threatened anyone, never have I ever.