It’s only been 2 months since leaving treatment but the instability and hurt suffered taking away my job, discrediting 7 months, and calling my discussions with Todd Spitzer delusion, makes clear one thing, if I am harmed I cannot help, if Im getting voices, Im at risk for mental illness, or upon discussion continued use of terms, disabling. It’s clear upon punching my head today slamming my head into a door that Im too late have lost my battle to voices, and you know what sometimes mental health is something for me to figure. I dont think any systen of wellness should change any momentum or fun in life. Sometimes life becomes a game of playing me as stupid, unaware, and outsmarting my knowledge on code, and if wellness is a competition of using words or my words against me, in disbelief of writing or how its created by stuff I realize that is true and accurate, then accept when Im hurt when I sound bad flip out words become an issue and self harm results, you know its not always my fault when I suffer, but sometimes suffering cant be prevented when you’re hurt. The best way to deal with mental illness, is to be alone, give up, start writing to SCOTUS and calling 911, and not lose years to my life battling dislike, thats a force that cannot be given enough to stop from harming me. Once people believe there is something wrong with you, that means to accept disability or however things stand and not get hurt when Ive been sober for 30 years, wrongfully accuse me of being an addict when Ive stayed home for 10 years and dont go out, doesn’t mean Im not careful with my mental health missing out. Im sorry I have to discontinue social media, and also not share photos or video if it results in an anger toward me or make fun of my voice or face, once hate starts it cannot be stopped, by performing well, thats whats too late by being hurt and being honest. I helped solve it, if Im hurt or use words hurtful Im not the cause of it, and Im not making up any code or posing as a solution Im not. You couldnt accept drinking 3 times from Bevmo, or therapy and psychiatry, so please don’t accuse me of being alcoholic when Im making a clear effort to stop writing based on voices, or how changing me is to ruin my life call me stupid, then that simply means to not write, if you can figure out life without me, then I dont have to be online, some mental health game, or learning about me and hurting me with my own words, and prevent me from my goals in life.

Im not feeling well, it’s clear by my upsets and mental illness, so not writing for awhile is the solution, I dont see the purpose in anyone studying me or being changed so my words are not recognized as intelligent, Im not lying to anyone, Im honest I never not tell the truth, and sometimes my truth is used against me to victimize me. Refusing to be online, is simple acceptance of voices and hatred toward meds, and not need some excuse to be punished for lesser things in life, like shocking upsets are about me, not solved by me.