Based on the issues, Im sure whats relevant is sobriety, when it comes to helping others, something that you care about, not something that you get bullied for, participating, its clear that the more difficult life becomes, the less it matters where you show up or what you have to say. So Im not sure about whether questioning my stopping point, was in any way reflective of anything going wrong for me, or not maintaining my health despite being in court, so certainly not getting upset or complaining and getting sick, or things getting worse for me, is not a product of what court is for, or what court can help with. So Im sorry that I don’t have any guarantees regarding my health if called schizophrenia and cannot guarantee dating or texting with anyone, on the basis of my diagnosis and what Im going through in life. What matters at this point is figuring out whats wrong, and not continuing to get sick, and based on what is thought, not for a worse representation of however described to come about, in light of whats true or not true about me. I think schizophrenia illustrates that there is a possibility to not like what I have to say or to not like my reactions or limits in life, and that Im capable of being hurt, whether with altruism, confronted on a problem not a problem, I don’t think that writing is any more of a solution, past losing your battle with voices and a lawsuit, there is not much to say to overcome that amount of embarrassment, shame, humiliation, and disbelief. So the adverse affects of being given a hard time in life, is ultimately what causes me to feel sick, or give up, so if the issue is alcohol, can not drink alcohol, if the issue is bothered, why should my space in life be respected and not bothered, and if the issue is schizophrenia, how can it be prevented battling voices, what type of confrontation internal or sought proven is to declare that you are sick to yourself or others, it would be my capacity to stay well is of issue when it comes to “peer support,” and sobriety …. In the end the only person who can make myself feel better and figure out whats wrong is myself, not a doctor, not a therapist, not an attorney, so what does this mean, that voices cannot be stopped or proven, and used as a tool to aggravate you to get you to shout reach a limit or hit your head, so that’s the lesson when it comes to voices, if it caused you self harm and suicide at any other point in your life, it doesn’t matter and can happen again and be recreated at any other point in your life, and cant be proven, and there is not solution for it. Nows not a good time to be social or date or go out on the basis of getting sick or shouting upset losing my battle with voices at home, so that makes me look bad, and certainly not going to go out again, after I was misunderstood to be inappropriate when I wasn’t and to myself. In addition, me taking a break from blogging is not being elsewhere or avoidant of anything difficult that can be made better through writing, its acceptance of a dilemma, voices, the causes for voices, and the misinterpretation of who I am or what Im about for or against in life, or in support of bothered or not bothered, when that much is not clear about you, this is how a bigger deal is made out of something that isn’t a big deal, then it becomes about what you deserve in life, so is that my misunderstanding, or anothers, what is true. I think because it was not clear my recovery or upsets is why Im being pushed to feel like Im dying or suicidal, and people not respecting my relationship with my Father, and harping on whats disappointing upsetting about me, it will always be (1) who made you look stupid (2) why do you look stupid (3) who are you getting along with (4) how have you disappointed others (5) how does your life affect the respect of others …. So since that was misunderstood how when Im hurt that’s hurtful to my family, Im hurt, on the basis of no one comprehending in what way Im hurt not because of who I am or “schizophrenia” and determine what is strong or not relevant about what I have to say or out there, so this is when insult is reinforced, and you are harmed, when no one cares how badly you were hurt, and when people think that stupidity is a way that you can be hurt again and make anything regarding your health your fault, so whats too late, actually getting sick and actually looking stupid, what is the solution, not looking stupid, and not perceiving anyone as making you look stupid, so the lesson is what are you smart by, and when things become difficult, is that something difficult that you are having difficulty talking about, that would make how you seemed or appeared inappropriate, as though anything difficult is easy for you to comprehend or solve or be strong for others about, is what is remedied in the end by harming someone, who you think is a continuation of luck, or things said, or any interaction as though proof is a continuation of things going well, or things going wrong or anything is about me being worse off, or a basis for unhappiness or complaint, I would say that a side that you cannot prove wrong would be who declares you sick and sees you as sick, they will never trust you, you will never be good enough, and you will always worry others when you are well, a condition of clarity condemned or brought down questioned, and that you cannot prove to anyone when you are well, and the status of your condition, will be based on who you are speaking to or connect with, will be the commensurate treatment of you, as though you carry a life of influence, that either does or does not protect others from harm including those that you love. So what is things going well by and things improving for all by, since writing to the courts is viewed as some functioning solution that appears to be some procedural activity thought made up to stay well, it seems only appropriate that less connecting, being less places, and doing less, and not being hospitalized, is really tackling the issue of whats wrong with me, whats worse, and what Ive lost, so I don’t think hospital can recover your life, or prevent voices, nor is fighting the solution, I think fighting makes you look stronger than you are and creates a cause for attacking you and your stability and credibility, in addition I think being suicidal and acting like hurting yourself giving up, is the type of language “suicidal” that makes you appear mentally ill and lest voices win, so how bad are things, and in what way is mischaracterization of your own life being worse, sought, and what type of shouting or loss to voices, illustrates a version of you that reinforces a diagnosis of schizophrenia. I think the present difficulty is being social, and although that wasn’t cheating and forgiveable, it still made me look stupid, and what became difficult were the mental health issues, upon observance, which did not get better, and what I lost was a relationship, so having mental illness, means that I cant date, and can accept that things wont work out for me romantically or socially on the basis of diagnosis, and people not being sure about me, and for this person who hears voices and shouts to be the preferred state sought prevented, or be accused of having a condition in existence prior to be hospitalized, which is not true. So the lesson is if something is bothering you, not blogging was the solution to not bother anyone, if somethings difficult, make note you are in difficulty, and make sure no one is made to empathize or read anything about anyone who is suicidal or who has messed up in life or done wrong, would mean to really question whether blogging is the solution, and in what way if my life is ruined blogging can my life be made any better working anywhere else, seems to be the misunderstood difficulty, if I cant be accepted well and writing well, then I don’t belong in therapy, if the issue is unhappiness or sickness, and hospital, I don’t also wish to be considered a threat by complaint, and if I look bad also not be mistreated as by my own doing, ultimately watched respect is lost before you have even made a decision or said anything in order for respect to be taken away, and the type of stupidity that no one feels sorry for is sickness following stupidity, is the condition attacked, therefore if I was not sick, then what stupidity is a reason or excuse to not recognize disability or think that anything thereafter is a joke about “schizophrenia” is the lesson, on what is wrong, I wouldn’t say that what has gone right is because of me and subject myself to be accused of whats going wrong to be because of me, “non-acceptance” I think there was non-acceptance of me, and a worse state to reinforce a diagnosis, so what is the condition treatable, my life being worse, or suffering is nothing that I need to go to the hospital for, so if its time I need to reflect, then spend that time thinking or reflecting on life sober and at home, and if its what others think, not complain and focus on myself and not think too hard about why that was thought of me, and if its about who I love, really think again about what there is to love about me, be proud of, how schizophrenia is ruining my life and how disabling meds, were, and continue to reflect on voices and how I have reacted in the past suicidal, and also now as a top blogger who graduated from law school prove that Im not someone who experiences a symptom that was treated or cant be cured, and continues to suffer and that not being my fault or anyone fault, is how insult occurs when your health affects others, that’s when your problems are too much to be shared, so that’s a good break from writing, when you are peer support, this is the current test how long challenged for before Im in a better state of mind by which I can help others, so the remaining grievances are what Im liker when Im struggling or have a problem, and lawsuit or opening things up to complaint, is about stopping points, am I someone who makes things worse or makes things better, and in what way do my reflections of code, illustrate that no big picture is to be minimized or less effective based on whatever happens to me, and to reiterate that if I am suffering by a negative judgement of me or punishment, I am also not the person who is well or addressing life as though anyone should be scrutinized for how I end up, how improvements was the best defense to anyone having harmed me or whatever sides were taken, and how I lose in life, by complaining, and that doesn’t help me, or entitle me to support, but clearly causes me self harm and shouting, means that’s not what I want to look bad, or be charged or mistreated as though I am someone in the care of anyone harmed, and use that as an experience to wrongfully accuse me of anyone under my care being harmed, is the issue with “insult” difficult or hard to hear, so theres honesty, and theres being difficult, being difficult can occur if I cant speak or my head is injured that makes me look bad, so if that’s of issue to be discovered then hurting my head and not being able to speak will be the issue tested for, and so be it, ultimately, there is not science to improvement, helping, or taking away support, or suicide prevention, and let this be a lesson, that its not by what ways you try to get help, its about in what ways is help rescinded and what does that mean, to not ask for help, so that’s not me giving up suicidal is respecting that in my condition as improved graduated and working, I was considered mentally ill, so to continue to think about in what amunf of any difficulty should I be compared top anyone and injured as though where I am matters as to the condition of the innocence of who I support, it shouldn’t matter.