When you’re at your limits that can bring out the worst in you, as viewed yesterday, caps and upset and insult the common denominator to be diagnosed as schizophrenic. A losing hand in life, and a winning hand for a psychiatrist and his preferred patients; it could not be you actually, but that shouldn’t matter to you anyways. You need no one on your side to get well in this world, just a positive attitude, and a little endurance when it comes to negativity, it’s the kind of attitude whereby if you hold those interests to heart and take it to heart, it misguides you, and creates the opposite effect of brilliance, perceived mental illness. At what point do things become subjective, when no one can relate to you, either you are in a place they are not, but don’t worry, one day you will have arrived to a better place in life spiritually and mentally too, first things first, correct what is going wrong in your thought processes. Recently I was made to mention sides, only because I acknowledged that someone I grew to love, communicates clearly to all people, not in a combative way excluding or including or insulting, in a fair way open to all, and that’s how all great beginnings start, with room for growth and the ability to learn and pick up on issues. The goal of having a blog is not to be verbose or time consuming, my passages are short and only recently longer, and have made an effort to add paragraphs. 

When there is no disagreement continuing, that is something you have to accept, not knowing why or for what reasons, or whether or not you feel that that was a fair decision to make, it’s better not to question others and be considered “all that,” referencing a famous case of a child put under conservatorship who was a famous comedian on that show, and probably belittled for it, Im sure moving home brought up other references like Movie: Failure to Launch, or Bubble Boy, Adams Family, Edward Scissorhands, all the outcast timid and scary people, I never saw myself as one of them, but Im assuming like most people you will feel like you look scary in the event that you are made to be strong by things either lighting you up for good or bad reasons, that much we cannot control, what makes people feel happy or intelligent, just mentioned recently, rework your own thoughts not the news or the thoughts of others. 

I remember mostly everything in life that I write, it’s the unfortunate circumstance of a writer, to constantly build from the past in a positive way, what you know will change, what you confront in life will also get more complicated, but the beauty of writing is that there is always possibility for change, it means that right now, or what is thought or what was can change and be fixed, amended, perfected, and set in stone, and that will not always bring people together in a way that a universal truth is known, it just allows for people to let go, move on, and again think as they are, with you new or unimportant, and their lives as more important to focus on.

There is independence in learning, online there is a community of influence and that will never change, in a growing field, allow for possibilities in life, don’t be limited to go by others, reference others, or be used by all, there are no rules, take it one day at a time, and create no dependencies in life, that will surely leave you feeling behind, connected to something or someone who doesn’t feel good, just like me and my readers, either fix it or leave, I get it.

When did a separating of teams begin, flying to DC 2013, that was not a statement in confrontation to anyone, that was starting where I am, what has gone wrong, why am I not graduating, and why am I getting bad grades, why is my life difficult. 

Then there are school shootings, why are there shootings, what is trending, who is known, what is influencing, and what are the stories behind those shootings: (1) parent/child (2) crush/shooter (3) Florida (4) shooting hostage situation … when you decide to care and if those are the first things that come to your mind, recognize as someone who works in support of combatting violence, preventing by changing laws, coming from a background on Rockingham, make sure that you are not one to exhibit or be used to compare or be blamed by diagnosis as though one is taught by you how to think in upset toward others, based on a present failure, and that’s where I think things went wrong. 

When I speak of prevention, that means if nothing is said, then nothing can be done, if something is said, something can be done, but whats in my mind is not those cases and then to make happen in my life a situation in which I don’t date, or message, or have identity issues, how relevant, depending on who you later blame or if ever an issue, it will always be you who will suffer and look bad, everyone is a caring and loving person, accept just not toward you.

So why the upset? Because for years I have focused on myself and improved and wrote and I never complained about shootings, or ever felt connected other than by my Twitter 2012 which Im not sure who read who then judged me as mentally ill around the same time, and I don’t understand the reasons why I had to go to TMS then worked three jobs that year, to function? At what point do you get tired and stop functioning in life, that Ive never blamed others for so please don’t constantly bring up my Exes, as though I would blame my ex Aaron for me later getting schizophrenia (2022) and then say that things did not work out then or now because of some guilt that is causing me schizophrenia that I have to defend without mentioning specifically, whats painful is that Im not allowed to speak on what comes to mind, and Im not sure how that changes, I am not one to think something that someone else can say, and because I have had one experience of that what I think or remember was changed to be geared toward things people say like: pervert, etc etc reported to 911. So that would explain changes in production or lack of achievement in life, and if “frustration” was the issue, then being held behind 1 more year, over a story shared about a child photo of my brother’s friend, was then used to mischaracterize me as needing to be held behind a year, to illustrate me as pervert, as learned by my story, then punish me as though its safe for others to learn my life, then wrongfully accuse me of having images or memories in my mind, being used to see now, or affecting my judgements in life, or view of people, schizophrenia is to say that I am not well by others or I shout at others to wrongfully accuse me of being mentally ill, so I don’t make sense, so that I am slow, that is how your mind doesn’t open up, so you hurt and sound slow.