Here is what I wrote upon being delayed to get ready and leave this is everything no one cares about accuse me of imaging and how Im presently made fun of like Im a user or an addict or have sex addiction, or rejected or matching unfit to date, bumble pictures verified, whatever is happening to my appearance is beyond anything to break down to a science, you didnt value what was beautiful about me discovered and you accuse me of not liking myself or not being pretty or accuse me of blaming men or sex, I think I did a good job in life of being attacked prosecuted accused of doing things Im not, experienced organizing my room and things and running given a hard time. So there is clearly mental health you cannot be loved, ruins a relationship, there is saying mental health hospitalization is why I cant date, for every challenge and every demand made I made choices in life, and like anyone not doing well ignored i guess now is what texting and not replying disappearing means, or my life getting so bad and go from on my way to the hospital called, going on my last date July 4th, and for nothing to work past getting sick, its clear when told a diagnosis is an excuse “its not believed there is not proof or change physical mental job no job treatment that any cure a condition or treatment I underwent and well now, maybe you dont know my trust my doctors not hurt by them giving up on me traumatized upsetting however immature I sound when I cant be helped or go to the hospital, please stop making fun of my condition like something to know information you can pass along, so stop making a big deal of when I give up tried my best, have to figure out what to live for, I was given opportunities to date, you heard my story, you continue to accuse me of not being deserving of the nice men who knew me accuse me dating from the past like I cant date someone new, Im not going to date period, based on mental health being used as some condition grose or weird about me unattractive accuse me of being ugly or criminal or guilty or offensive. So far as my disability is some joke like I got what was coming to me F up or hurt anyone look stupid accuse me of being offensive, however many times you want to pretend like your helping me, make fun of my experiences, my life and my problems are too complicated that no treatment is equipped to help me sued. No one cares how voices are called you punished me for repeating a word I dont say then accuse me of being a bunch of other things called, you dont know me you dont know what my issues are you cant help me, you dont know which type of people can help me you, one day someone else will get voices and not recover just so you can say oh she hit her head did that to herself, at some point instead of looking at my story like its not impressive easy, if you think I get sick and get well again, then thats your fucking gamble and not my job to be helped by anyone talk to anyone, Im not going to play this game of using court to beat me up accuse me of hurting todd being ugly in real life catfish a reject not attractive, it doesnt matter at which points anything was real, but you thought my wellness was offensive, so maybe thats why Im not well now with less going to court …..If life is about hurting me accusing me of hurting Todd or sue me accuse me of having voices not communicated said when accuse me of hitting my head when Im being positive and sorting my life out still social dating, then thats whats being done to me and highlighting all the ways I was compliant doesnt make me tough or up to not good, or have some record that tells anyone theres something wrong with me or accuse me of being dangerous, then I wish I was never born and never talked to anyone in my entire life video or selfie, one day you will injure me so many times until you stop accusing me of touching his life or failing and making him sick that that proves if we are connected is a simple way to prosecute me, the dismissal are terms said by my attorney, if Im not well there are no guarantees there is not more about me reaction bad enough past tired on meds off meds that add up to all the reasons I was well didnt struggle survive looking fat and punished, please dont accuse me of being punished and suddenly mobile a normal person, and maybe sometimes in stead of preventing improvement as though its for things your prosecuting me for wanting things in life with a disease unknown to nice men, Ive never been hurt worse in my entire life, as far as Im concerned everyone did their best, you rejected me accused me of having some record that tells you Im a piece of $hit or ugly and fat in real life a catfish joke after seeing my face, accuse me of being stupid or stalking, it doesnt matter who is who no one cares I was given fake business cards in life you live life and whoever hurts you hurts you, but please dont pretend like anything happening to me is about anyone else, I will never research look up or study a single person for the rest of my life telling me to call or call HR. Maybe you think modeling a job being taken off meds is easy and more treatment will make sure what you think is wrong with me can be fixed, you cant fix me if you punish me well and if you think its fun and confusing to hurt my feelings with a heart condition accuse me of being mean or given a hard time like I should know why, I did my best everyone else got to talk and work things out while I was made to wait a month to be spoken to about a plan for moving out or discharging from IOP, I get what wellness is something you earn, that people now take back, so take my wellness #dearJudge, I did my best there was nothing said or disease bearing wrong or drug addiction or sex life anywhere I was getting As studying hard. So thats why Im suffering I was doing well doing my best, and had to leave my job told that Judge wants me to go to more treatment another program, the emergency isnt court, stop making fun of me requesting for letters and that my attorney would call, and none of the letters were completed in time and given a hard time called inappropriate again. I dont care if anyone told on me and I shared something about me who I love or what that means, if thats not real to you, you will never see me well see me period for the rest of my life until I talk to the Judge. My case being dismissed means just wants to hear from you I didnt ask for defense or proof of welllness with a diagnosis of voices self harm schizophrenia, I get it now you made my life more serious so that I cant talk to anyone anymore, you are trying to teach me to live this new life where Im supposed to get sick not feel well need to talk no one to talk to work be given a hard time and all of that is supposed to not be a big deal and is a condition not forgiven, for as long as you decide Judge to coordinate care and go through my social media and accounts demand me to follow a rule without caring if I get sick or mentally ill or get voices again, is the risk you took, and not what more treatment is for, youve made it clear who I was recovered wasnt good enough not smart enough, inappropriate Im 38 its too late to change or learn from anyone or go from able to speak to not able and since you dont care about my disability Im allowed time to rest until I figure out what the next steps are make a decision for myself, file for disability, try to work a job again, and keep blogging blogging everyday, if in any way schizophrenia is a concentration joke if this area of life becomes difficult then eventually work will be affected, means youve already coordinated ways to convince me Im sick, convince others Im sick, accuse me of coding or not making sense in texts. Accuse my writing as fighting, subject me to being given a hard time and make fun of me for not having any friends or being helped not a big deal, life off meds not writing not emailing court accused of as being an offender, is not the solution or ending I deserve treat me like Ive not improved not good enough and accuse my websites as not being real inflated stats that dont mean anything and accuse me of acting or pretending to be well.

You got what you wanted I did my best to improve, whats too much is not being allowed to write along with the constant punishment, #dearJudge, I was worth being born worth loving living a normal life off meds, but when you decide to label me as offensive, I dont need to be anywhere else in life to improve you got what you wanted you gave me a hard time I have nothing you are enjoying the fact Im struggling, you accuse me of saying stuff online unwanted not helpful, in the end its not your choice what my life is like and what Im proud for and did right, and no one can watch me around people for 5-7 months to prove Im capable of being anywhere getting along accuse me of being someplace else. #dearJudge I quit on normal goals not working out for me, once you start changing my face, its not me whos some voices joke accuse me of thinking Im high up or important like face correction is a joke or accuse me of believing in stuff that keeps me alive thats not real, if you dont think Im the solution, I have the right to tell you what was working but so long as there is a preference for hurting my face and body stop accusing me of being strong or not human, capable of recovery with permanent damage to me head and weight, it’s not okay to be someone took photos and be punished changed to look terrible that affects me whether or not it prevents dating, Im not God and no voices are God, and Ive been clear on my activity and wellness, there is no sudden quitting of goals, I think thats a rational acceptance that I will never be well enough for dating and its not because my face is ugly and you think Im fat, I have to think about what Im alive for and how I can make my life better without being insulted mistreated based on disability or ways to be proven to wrong. I give up!