What’s “too much” being called “___” spoke to LAPD outside my building called 911 to work on quitting blogging for several days now …..

By sharing my feelings on being hurt and based on using what others say to harm me its clear that perfection and success was not accepted and some other version of me believed to exist, its clear that words and my power over myself, is what has led to mental illness, everything I believed and read that kept me going in life used against me, so much so that misspeaking and quitting blogging was a big deal when its doing whats best, and writing dear Judge and doing my best was not accepted or being dismissed, so its about what side are you playing up to imagined hate that doesnt exist voices or love, and you know thats up to me to discuss the impact of voices over an 8 year period and the disease of schizophrenia, what I found by describing all the condescending aggression toward me, is not to blame the lawsuit, but ended up speaking to the very issue from the movie “Shawshank Redemption” and a house mate saying “boy does OJ like taking it in the a$$” and make fun of me disclosing association as though Im defiant or refined in a way improper. Ultimately, I just called the OC Sheriff to identify the issue of why Im attacked or hated and how a lawsuit is used to attack me on any level can’t mention anything and nothing I say is believed, and no heart condition is understood as not being my fault, that’s it hard to do my best, get sick at the same time, hear from someone flipping out, then using my words against me, means to stop blogging, if I get sick and cant send photos and show my vagina to someone thats a new disability Im not aware of but can show my vagina to someone black without feeling hurt is something I learned about myself Im not tied to anyone, Im not in a relationship, this person doesn’t respect my space, I’m being used and hurt to explain him I described everyone in the positive and I dont deserve to suffer or be lowered or given a hard time, by a judge or any court, or not allowed to fly to DC, 2024 is unlike any year of my entire life, and it shouldnt take a long time to figure out why Im sick, or what there is to not like about me, if its about memory or backtracking and suddenly forgetful you know thats the issues “criminals” and thats the “psychology” typography or face features being studied, and you know what I dont have to selfie video or self harm and not participate in hacking studied pretending its okay to be watched make fun of my comprehension of voices, its well beyond pain, and although I cant explain fetnyl you dont have to give me pain to blame me for any death period Im not making life hard and I did lie to anyone, I made things easy to understand promising never lied, and was never a gay shocking subject or flaming masculinity joke or turning into a person who east cunt, or doesn;t love dick, thats in your head to ignore my self love and photographs focused on myself, and use my health to compare me or treat me as something Im not, I said no one can be me and I love being me, and you know what if I didnt get to meet Todd Spitzer and thats the issue, thats my loss to overcome doesn’t mean his love isnt in my heart so for this other guy to move in and text all day long and pretend like I have to respond be nice he is filling me up with unnecessary attachment using me to to accuse me of being sick when I told him Im unstable and didnt give me the opportunity to go to therapy, its now clear its a command hallucination joke to make fun of my life advice say things and see where I end up, its too late to complain, but its better for me to be alone, even if I have no one to focus on my health and know that I did my best, however late to an issue I am, but I refuse to analyze my content and get hurt without knowing what went wrong or when I got sick and why is no ones fault, I never lied, Im not ready, I cant date an ex, I am positive toward everyone, and I did make it clear Im not fit for dating, marriage, baby, or job now, have a heart condition, so Im being clear in a way that these cards is how I feel Im being treated but Im not allowed to be tough sound like an Eminem song, or die, but this ex -pen pal, who I didnt punish online or write about is accusing me of being sick and voices are accusing me of convincing him Im sick, and it was not appreciated that he turned on me after treatment, so no one knows what I deserve and why and I cant control what anyone is led by but I dont deserve to be hurt and if he said the word “kill” maybe its better to hear me shout online that be shocked by me shouting in my car down Venice and can’t even get a facial or go to spa, thats not mafia or italian, no one is being cool there is no secret way to live life handling very serious subjects on your own, and court is pretending Im good, and right now is the truth, told OC Sheriff what I just learned that Im being hurt like Im lesbian or bi:tch and the word being used which cant be proven spoken to after two months, means no one can help me, so I prefer to turn into who I deserve to turn into, once you anyone starts not liking everything I say sounds bad, I already chose not to write I explained voices well, if Im dying, probably not write, if other people are dying, probably be strong, if Im being called something probably not hook or or have sex be alone, these are clear indications, but to sum me up as schizophrenic, before Ive said any of this, is beyond me, you can be called stuff for any reason no one is psychic and knows whats wrong with you, no one can tell if your gay looking at you, no one knows what you want, Im not confusing anyone, I am feminine, because I worked hard and if you are trying to call me gay then take it to court instead of making a big deal about not having my original website up!