I can understand if there are ways of telling me medically that I’m too late to change what others think of me or decide I’ve been harmed in a way I can’t challenge defend myself explain or excuse use moments of disability as an excused upset or version of anger toward me as though I’ve weakened or not been nice lost my kindred spirit by way of sex or accuse me of being lost an addict alcoholic or schizophrenic I’m sure that would anger most to document my whole life then accuse me of being unphotographable or dirty accuse me of medication abuse or being incapable of thinking well enough to improve solve problems now evidenced as reality to music film and others question how to use me by putting me down view life as happy immune confident excluding me to justify diagnosis or trying to send me to the hospital with irreversible harms or damage accuse me bond over me treat me as funeral or a cause of sex or closeness anywhere unsafe or accuse my thoughts tone and output system of helping myself as not genuine my personality use a diagnosis or how I felt about old definitions of issue ….. I just think that treatment being taken off meds and hospital isn’t for escape leniency or solution for something I can fix in writing or discuss privately and I don’t think my tone or ability to help with enthusiasm or demonstrate hard work be impartial not hurtful to anyone is bringing anyone into the middle of imagining dilemma of all these movies and songs made meaningful relevant to constantly accuse me of having an illness that justifies anger toward me or a belief in me that is let down or a position in life others benefit decide there is any accepted closure disabling me when I can work improve or study take the bar it’s not about doing less it’s accepting everyone knows me not forgetting I’m smart no matter how many times you use “hesitancy” or “leniency” to say I’m not prevention of make light of what “hateleslie” means it means if everyone hates OJ and I’m doing well got into law school live a normal life then the risk assumed was viewed as a joke or fuel for animosity or call me genetically defective replaceable or unfocused decide to target me based on website made I represented with my brain my effort my time and concentration and my face doesn’t need to be destroyed to subject me to live a worse life isn’t the solution if it’s not safe to talk about my life Facebook or anyone and if I keep getting hurt putting me in a serious fight in life “mentally challenging” out of spite for forewarning challenge I’m faced with doesn’t mean anything’s made easy or hard or figuring out what’s wrong without me minus me in spite of me justify anger let life be a place easily disturbed or easily create difficulties while undoing that harm through writing for however long it takes is a peace worth fighting for even you deposit all my writing and value to credit an instigator or mistake any one person at fault or any code I think everyone’s going through a lot and maybe you dislike why I’m not dating and maybe you don’t consider me cool or dealing with a lot but don’t accuse me of working hard warning my peace and losing my peace over voices or something that’s not based on reality imagined.
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