Love is a sensitive subject, I don’t think even at 39, I represent the negative connotation in describing a woman who is “done” or “changed” or in a place in life, where they cannot be loved, or not deserving of love is my issue, or obvious hurdle in a poor review of me personally posted online. In an effort to not bring my entire story into explanation or misread of where a person is coming from with the hevy weight of that anger directed toward me intended to bring me down in a way, that threats to my health actually physically hurt, is a pain or hurt worth reporting, is anything Im accusing anyone of, my own medical condition known, or being on meds for years is not how I feel I should I look in terms of mental health diagnosis or be judged. You know I blogged for years and was nice and open, peaceful, encouraging, positive, out of harms way, protected, not endangered, living a good life, Im sure is how we all feel until something bad happens, and let that not be a lesson in what has changed about me Im human and Ive been through a lot and sometimes what makes us beautiful is having survived circumstances or pains in life, and come out a better person recovered and well, overcome disability, setback, shock, or personal emergencies in life, there is honestly not always a way, to publicize less, a negative impact, if its affecting my mental health, Im assuming that’s something others can tell by my writing or quotes, is clearly off the beaten path from a regular quote, so please accept whatever becomes necessary for the time being to say, I wouldn’t provide clarification if clarification wasn’t needed, and if it’s a pain, that pain can be prevented by getting help, and that should be enough to simplify, my entire life, campaign, progress, and independent work completed toward aiding causes and helping to prevent unnecessary harms from occurring, or continuing to occur, is something wellness is for, and Im sure what is believed to be the solution, absent minded all ranking and memberships and cloudflare numbers, that kind of reassurance of things going well is something that can be felt and needs to be proven through my work product and writing online, first and foremost. So much is required of you to write online, or put together something that is well liked by others. You really can’t make mistakes, so as much as it was amusing and eventful to think I went down in life, or left and looked bad, or blog suffered without explanation, or regained following without credit, what is real, is the actual question. What is proof for, proof is for people to be informed of who you are, read your pages, and be guaranteed in writing, a sense of direction and purpose in life, that’s demonstrated through your blog. Likes show writing that is at a standard of help, not limited to me, that makes sense in an empowering way, not an argument weighing or complicated, or draining, which is a low in life, a lowered position, or how you are physically brought down in life a consequence of fighting directed toward you, which for a limited time, offered peace to not be alone, constantly hurt, and Im sure will always be a source of disagreement, on all levels, if Im hurt, how Im hurt, or if I deserve to be hurt, and also not be someone who is complaining, or broadcasting argument, past being helped by investigators, spares everyone the time and energy of mention or announcement of a fight not matter how private or public. Im sure there is always a side taken, always a source believed, and always a reason beyond me that symbolizes the intent of others, and to which no “bullying voices” believe any term stated is the cause of voices, it’s only been my experience how a audible delusion occurred, for my scientific analysis of how an audible delusion occurred by spreading words to 8 million people, was rational. Love is a sensitive subject in which Im sure its not me or my love that’s being defended or believed to be deserving of protection and that’s okay, I think its clear based on things not getting better since the addition of an investigator, it is up to me to make things better online, and provide solution for dilemma, or big picture perspective Im not limiting in life diagnosing or giving rules for interpretation, you can see life however you see fit, and however it makes sense to you, I don’t have a better more plausible explanation for life occurring or via report, new or different or accusatory, Im pretty confident by my phone discussion of having an awareness of life, whether stated, mentioned, or later sending emails on harsher subjects, is not my selective avoidance or know how, to dislike or devalue my purpose in life, or handle in life, by changes in composure, its mental health, its either occurring and described, taking time to rest, going away, or becoming worse, nothing is promised in life, Im not allowed to make mistakes online, in writing, or say terms, or be faced with dislike, or fighting, or else I cannot write online, that’s clear if you are not wanted and you sense that you are not wanted, and getting voices that don’t like you, then the next logical conclusion would be to discontinue blogging online. A new job announcement was not made and blogging discontinued, based on being hurt by a fan site, and “bullying voices” and for there to be no solution, for being made fun or tormented, and make fun of random stuff I said that wasn’t in plain English or made me look bad, you may not remember an entire life and conversation, and see things out of context, and that I can’t control you know Im not famous, Im not a public figure, Im a blogger, I know famous people, I have lived a great life, a great human being, consider myself an important human being, and who I was as a person and how I looked was tested to extremes and right now is no different, I work hard and see myself as smart and nice and living honestly on meds, not perfect, and clearly cannot perform aggravated or getting voices and freeze and that’s living honestly described or not, I cant write and function online, without meds, if I drink, if Im being fought, or if Ive said anything offensive online, not forgiven for, then I will not be able to live and work online and blog, is there is dislike, if my work, my project, my explanation, or independent work is not valued or devalued by negative description of me, I don’t need to turn into this person limited, limiting who can be helped or read, or downgraded or treated as less than simply because Im not for everyone, I didn’t decide for my story to mean that Im for everyone, my life and work made me that person, and Im sure a hate website, or criticism of any writing is food for bait and dislike and I cant stop that process, of reading and disliking, reading and viewing me poorly, reading and thinking less of me, you can either hear what I think or how Ive been hurt or respect with honesty whats limiting my ability to share online, or accept the hesitancy or fear in being hurt by someone who do not see as bad, or see as innocent, or empathize with for any reason, or not me, I cant control what anyone believes, whate anyone needs, what anyone thinks, or guarantee I will be able to achieve a goal, or get a job, or publish a book, a lot of life can be prevented if you get hurt, and I hope that me continuing to live life, and not end up in the hospital is demonstrating a resiliency, that maybe its controversial as to what Ive reported, or how Ive beem hurt, but know Im doing my best on the treadmill everyday working hard to stay well, not fall down, be put down, get psychosis or mental illness, and have my life ruined, for any reason I can’t control  reporting makes sure a person doesn’t hurt me. That’s all its for, the rest of life I can explain to you. Love is a sensitive subject but I can comprehend delays in life and suffering Ive encountered but never blamed anyone, and just want to move forward in life, not offer my life up for scientific explanation or study question my own recovery sobriety doing the right things in life, coping well being strong, not a threat or a battle anyone needs to be bothered or scared about, Im being helped I will be okay, no matter what. One of the most painful parts of being me, seen in different photos, the most loving and giving person online, is to be called something Im not because of how Ive been seen, and that’s not fair to me, to be loved, and liked by men, or be subjected to the opinions of non matches, or describe an anger directed toward me I could guess represents men not attracted to me, men who don’t like me for any reason, decide that “voices” is what should keep me away from love, or be some unreasonable condition, that I identified as difficult to date if so, ignoring disclosure of diagnosis, using or abusing who I am as a person, to decide I should lose in life, for my honesty meds or condition, or “no love” or however is the system of deciding to “dislike” and I don’t need to be made to look bad, to blame me, or accuse me of not being worth it or offensive or contagious, everyone is working hard to be loved, lucky to be in your life, expecting the same peace and winning hand in life, to feel good about what they are doing, or who they are supporting, and to be rewarded with respect for their support, and that’s not what Im taking away from any man or woman in life, a waste or a person who hears terms difficult intrusive or stalling me, ways to make fun of how sensitive I am as a person, decide that Im controlled, no one controls me or can determine my destiny or where I end up, and I refuse to live in fear or be accused of having issues that I don’t have, that cannot be proven by blog or writing, or mention, Im not living life to be called things Im not, and I deserve to move forward in life, just like anyone else deserves, and the same person who was loved by others, still exists within me, whether seen or not, and that isn’t going to change me, making me look grose dirty or stupid, and Im sure that’s the goal of trying to cause me mental illness, or going nuts, or commit suicide, and that’s nothing that 911 can help me, that’s not anything I need to explain to a job, that’s nothing that should cause me to sleep, wake up, oversleep, have nightmares, or allow anything to control me, or misinterpret mental health as though Im not even in control of my own thinking and thoughts. Im not controlling anyone else’s viewpoint of me, as things elevate and become serious and argumentative my blood pressure rises the higher my blood pressure rises, the less likely voices will continue to berate me or attack me, the more peace voices will feel, and so on and so forth, sometimes having no one in life, or not being trusted, are ways you are punished in life, and there is nothing I can do to make anyone like me, trust me, accuse me, hate me, isn’t my job, to not be accepted or forced to continue to be online, at the same time a hate campaign is running. Please accept a few days delay in writing, I don’t have enough meds to keep up with fighting, I don’t have enough meds, to continue blogging online, and I don’t have th energy to get hurt or fought in life, misunderstood at my bottoms in life, in pain or suffering, be punished for my pain or suffering. And to me this is a real example, or not moving on, improving, getting a job, not dating, keeping to myself, not playing victim, not fighting, not stay home and suffer, not isolated and stay well and continue to live life, if the fight wont stop toward me, these are all good reasons to not blog. But I don’t think exposing a job acceptance after 3 job interviews is worth risking sabotage or voices, or sickness incurred by continuing to be hurt by someone with a preference of sex, they expose, and decide to make fun of me punish me for my sexuality, are ways to make me look stupid, therefore I have nothing to prove to anyone who doesn’t believe me, know that I described the condition, if there is no cure and nothing that I can do about it, either decide to blog and earn my peace each day through blogging, earn respect, or allow myself to get hurt talking about how Im hurt isn’t the solution to be criticized for my writing or dilemma before reporting, maybe if it was something I could handle on my own, it wouldn’t need to be reported, and Im sure no conversation reflects whats going on, or is being used to make me look good, except make fun of my condtion, and Im not so loose minded or a bad connection in life, or excuse for stupidity, or bad luck period, I am well, sober not an addict, live a positive life, and don’t deserve voices of any kind, its even a waste of time to bring up minor issues like my subscribers deleted, or hacking downloads, page malfunction, whatever is the satisfaction in doing things to me to hurt me, is not within in my control, nor does who I am as a person invite for that, watched or not watched, is maybe no solution for peace, or being liked by everyone, loved, or telling my story, and that’s the reality of what is real, everyone has lives and not unless you have a good life, should you connect, and its my job to represent myself and be in control of how Im treated in life, how I sound, what I look like, and what I say.