With negativity voices or negative view of me low regard disrespect or anger suggested then I’ve learned you sound stupid until you sound smart again and you get shouted at insulted as many times as it takes to distract you force you to fixate or remember what others have said either until you improve and it doesn’t matter or accuse me of sickness like I hear things wrong in the end it’s not the life you figure out watched or number of times your proven to be stupid lose everything a genetics jokes it’s how many times are you beaten interjected interrupted lose peace disconnected isolated converse invaded studied recall keep track of my writing here or online that I should I lose my head to be proven wrong experience dysfunction or be told what’s wrong with me learning or helping others writing quotes intelligent or stupid I think once you start keep tracking of everything you think is wrong that’s a system of judgment I either improve and come back center get my peace back earn that right or view moments of rest as permission to attack me mistake any place of writing private or public as selective or more difficult compared to talking to all I think what qualified me for IMDb was me stating can speak (aware of different audience types, be someone not caught attacked or lose ability to speak) is probably for every reason identified as what makes me successful how any progress is lost or viewed as permission or moment to attack or anything good happening a cause for distrust if I’m someone online with no life talking to no one who everytime I get well made sick again I’m not going backwards imaging life poorly I’m not making up difficulties challenging you accuse there of being relief through writing as though I’m getting out something sick or write in a way not earning peace and privilege like everyone else I can’t prove enough credentials in life to put anyone at ease or be pleased with my 39 years of life and that’s unfortunate and even worse to decide to shorten my life use his words to put me to sleep then use my words of what’s a public service accuse him of doing away with me trashing me for others is clearly a problem on what to do with my life whether to write will take time to figure things out worth the effort to continue writing and leave everything up and stop writing in private. I think the 2 day challenge of writing in spite of being hurt in the head was not respected or terms or diagnosis changes, I think too much is required of me a person you decide to punish make fun of accuse me of getting anything wrong watch everyone else have fun call me sick then make fun of my work my 39 years of life or my intelligence or ability to help I dont make people think I’m stupid asking for it clearly wrong or try to shorten my life to a few specific things you find evidence of mental illness to justify ruining my entire life things won’t get better based on how hard I worked and after talking to a Texas investigator to continue to blame me for addressing the issues mistake private conversations as solution or value in the wrong hands specifically who’s hacking me and accuse me of being made of something offended wrong not light hearted loving or real I think anytime I’m punished and unstable and can’t be social don’t appear well do my best unfit for dating it’s not sabotage or love or delusion it’s about “voices” and to be aware anytime something’s going well is when I’ll be attacked and anytime I work hard to prove myself approach difficult subjects I’ll be made fun as though I’m forgetful “do you even remember one day to the next” I remember everything I don’t need to be tortured to know to stay honest stay away from everyone or write in a way you make the word “losing” the goal or direction.