Starting a new relationship is not easy, nor is it easy to find a match these days, especially if youre not ready to date, everything feels forced, like its not going to work out, but you remain with eachother, to pass the time anyways. Although that’s not exactly a kosher relationship to be in, one that’s just based on sex and hooking up, we find ourselves in relationships like that, until we are more settled with a career established, and have some kind of perspective on whether we picture ourselves married and being a housewife, or having a career, and finding someone who equally supports us in those endeavors. Having mental health issues, makes is very difficult to date, especially if you become a red flag to someone who is looking for stability in their life, for those of us who have managed to stay in relationships for the long term, its about you not making your mental health issues the problem of the other, and likewise, not interfering with the good health of your companion, who can only tackle so much neediness before feeling stifled and ignoring you. -Until you are ready, don’t date, and until you are ready don’t go out, you never know who you’ll meet, for some of us that’s not the point of going out, most think they can do better than the bars or Tinder, let just put it that way, and those of us who do date from the bars or Tinder, are deemed to be less of a catch, compared to those with careers and companions and kids, who married young, and found their matches through friends and work, some of us start off life later, and it just so follows, that our dating life starts late as well. Ive been in a 1 year relationship, a 4 year relationship, and a 3 year relationship, none of which ended on bad terms, amicable splits, with no fault of one or the other. It seems unusual for no one to be to blame for a breakup, sometimes love is lost, and in the process of love being lost, one wanders, and in the process of wandering one finds themselves, and in the process of finding yourself, you realize you function better on your own, than waiting and doting on your companion in life, which in todays day in age, where women are driven by having careers, feel like they deserve more attention in relationships so they don’t stay. As you get older you learn to live separate lives from your companion and date, its not about doing everything together, and sharing a status on Facebook that youre together with a couple photo, for some reason I once asked for our photo to be taken down, I was very shy on social media to begin with, maybe it was out of fear of losing him, I did not want to publicly put our love on display quite yet. Hence, why now, out of guilt probably for not sharing new joys in my life, share prematurely when Ive found love, and enjoy the moment while it lasts. -To other women its all about seeing who they are with, and thinking they are better or prettier than who they are with, and then without fear competing for the attentions from the one who is taken, and you are left wondering why they have become so suddenly detached, or annoyed by your attentions in life, that doesn’t always mean that they are cheating on you, it just means that their attentions are elsewhere, always give your companion the benefit of the doubt, that they attentions if not on you, is on something else in life, that is to help better themselves, and that so long as their time is well spent in their book bettering themselves, you as their companion should be happy for them and support them, by giving them their space in life to blossom too. Its so important to grow in a relationship, and if you don’t grow, it doesn’t mean that its anyones fault, it could just mean that you have focused too much on the process of giving and receiving love, insecure, that you have forgotten to invest some heart in your studies or toward your career goals in life, why things can be happening for you in love, but not career wise, which is what I experienced, and why I left two relationships to focus on law school and career. I still don’t quite yet have a career, they will always be kind enough to respond, cordial with all my exes, but it’s a matter of you feeling stable, is what keeps you in relationships for the long term to marriage, to settle down, all you need is faith and healthy mindset when it comes to owning who you are, without trying to own the other person, and as each one blossoms and grows, supporting one another through all those changes in life, and no matter who needs fixing up, the other is there for them to push them when its time, and let them go, once they get going, that’s a system of support that fosters growth, being one anothers rock in life. -Why start dating now? I stopped dating 2014, to fully overcome my mental health issues. For me when love comes into my life, I feel inspired, like I am capable, funny, and able, when I do not have love in my life, I feel sad, insecure, like everything is more difficult than it really is, its all a matter of your self-esteem. Self-esteem is not marked by how many have bedded you, but how many you have let bed you, without going for a long term relationship in life, so long as you keep things casual and allow men to date you casually, the longer it takes to buckle down, find your confidence again, and try to pursue someone who is interested in a committed relationship a long term commitment, no one these days really brings that into discussion, until they have fully met you, aware of your issues, and willing to share with you their dreams in life, as you share your dreams in life with them too, and whether that conversation was meant to be about now, or with consideration as you being the one to be their life long companion, recognize that you deserve that if you put the work into it, and yes they are meaning you, you just don’t see yourself as worthy of those things, because you are insecure and think that they can find better in life, why Ive left relationships. Never because of how others treat you in life, talking through you or down to you, or even if they flirt with your boyfriend in front of you, ever become threatened, the more you can walk away from whats bothering you in life, the better off you’ll be, don’t allow anyone to make you feel less than or experience fear of losing your companion, and having to refocus all your attentions on them, in order to maintain a relationship, that’s giving up on your dreams, and putting too much pressure on your companion, as to whether they love you or not, you should never have to ask, they either say it or they don’t say it, and some have difficulty saying it for whatever reasons, whether you hear “I Love You” should not determine whether you are to stay or go. That’s something I learned the hard way, if its working, and not broken, then stay, allow “time to heal all wounds” and do your best to mend whatevers been broken, its you two that matters most, not what other people think, or because of what others have experienced knowing you.