Today Im ranked 637,135 on IMDb, and I bet everyone is wondering what Im on IMDb for. So I think nows a good time to talk about what there is to like about me, or why I would be a person of interest, who can be helpful, its now or never. If you allow the dust to pile up, it can seem like youre not helping, I don’t think that’s what humor is for. You either respect people in their profession and boundaries, but you don’t make a big deal out of treatments, if your specialty is not in filming, photography, or vlogging, then its just something new you have learned that also doesn’t make you an expert in transformations positive. I have been working on cleaning up since 2017 beginning with AA meetings, I think based on where you live in life you are privied to getting to be around good people in life, and that’s a blessing. I think if you ever go through something personally that really has nothing to do with anyone and everything to do with you, everything communicates, and if it’s a burden on your shoulders, its not something you talk about in public or with anyone, there will always be misunderstandings its what you take personal offense to in life, is what ends up causing you sickness, if that’s not what was meant by helping you in anyway, to recognize your own wrongs in life, which is an understatement, I think by now if you know people and are not well, that’s an excellent example of bringing anyone up who you don’t talk to, and talking in public will not make things appear any better, so figure out the pattern, your own emotional pattern, what advices you have been given in life, and figure out where all that frustration, heartache, or instability is coming from, its really nothing to share about if you have not had the time to think about life in that way, there will always be an outside perspective, and you are either all ears to the issues, or you wind up sounding like youre going through something personal having to do with anyone specifically, and then that becomes a sickening feeling, to sound like you are different in front of people or speak in anyway that casts a bad light over anyone who has tried to help you, and that’s a false assumption made of someone who blogs, its not for attention, its for communication, and if its in place of normal communications text, messenger, emails, meeting attendance, human contact, job applications, it starts to get painful the less its about something in life and the more it seems to be about, that’s not the way to go about recovery, everyone feels hurt when someone gets sick and that’s no ones fault if someone gives up in life, sure youll be reminded of it, your life may later become a well known story that many empathize with, but if you are not someone who represents what was special about that story, then don’t get casted as someone who underappreciates others, or make it seem like anyone underappreciated you. When the time comes understand the risk inherent to opening up anywhere, it will seem out of the blue, and its not something that anyone wants to talk about your questions in life or whats bothering you, what should be important to you, it starts with a care, that not all have the stomach for, and if its something that youre doing in the process of trying to gather support, then it will be in your down moments, that you are not taken seriously, you learn this the hard way what causes an overreaction, an upset, a miscommunication, a sadness, or sickness, and it can be for any combination of reasons, hopefully you get back to a place in quiet reflection about life at peace, it can feel like an eternity before you are yourself again, so Im hoping that I will recover from whatever is bothering me, not in writing, then in writing, not sounding like myself, and without a clear direction of what it is that needs to be said, whats important or unimportant, and that’s a good time to put your own needs aside, and if no one is confronting you about anything, then its not something that you should worry about or think too much about what it is about you that needs work, it could be your sleep schedule, where you run, how often you leave home, where you go, what your doing with your life, are you able to work, do you get sick at work and why, what are others confronting you about, is it something you’ve done wrong that is being explained to you, is there a position on issues in life that you have already taken, I think most people test your limits in life, not thinking that everyone is watching, and even if they know that everyone is watching, I don’t still think that stops anyone from speaking their mind on subjects or trying to illustrate the importance of connection through symbolism, its not a big deal until you describe anything in the negative, its important to be there for others, especially during times of crisis, that’s not a good time, to take any responsibilities in life that are not a result of your own making, if you are not yourself triggered by anyones unhappiness in life, it would be wrong to wait until you get sick, to be accused of triggering illness or dismay in anyone who was later made to think less of you, or be unimpressed by your progress, work ethic, or recovery for however long its been, or what was the cause for you not feeling well at which points in life. As you get older you have less room for error, so sure its very brief in talking about the past or what you’ve been through and Im sure everyone would want to know more detail, I think its only things ingrained in your memory, that you are made to think more about and usually it should be a positive experience not a negative one that you are to be reminded for and what about. -I think Ive been given many opportunities to recover from mental health issues, this past year was very difficult for me to get going again, I still don’t feel like Im my usual self, inspired, writing squares, sharing humor, it will be something about you that is not liked that you will not understand in the immediate, and that’s not the cause for delusion or upset, but what later becomes important is that in the event that things are not going right you step up to the plate and talk about whats going on, or what you have to share about your own life, and allow the Justice System to pair up personalities, incidences, exposures, thoughts, generalizations, and figure out who is tripping, who is doing well, who is in peace, who is upset, who is affected and by what attentions drawn to a subject that you have never ignored or not been considerate of ever in your life, because I have suffered from bipolar so I understand the clear boundaries of tolerable communications, and its not speaking to feel good, its speaking not in defenses, its speaking in support of clarity, you cannot allow yourself to be controlled by the thoughts of others, or read into things then have everything be geared to a better understanding of where another is coming from and either choose to support their attack on your character, or expect you to rise above, and just let things blow over, I think that’s a ruined system of sharing, when the person who is sharing is made to feel sick, or to lose confidence, to anyone who does not view them as special, or who speaks differently in private, in a condescending and mean way, then expects you to forget or not be tolerant or offended, and be affected in an insecure way, in which you are not sure of yourself, not feeling good about yourself, and not able to be loved. I think that’s the problem with admiring people but not talking to them, once you have reached a moment of peace and proud of yourself, I think if you allow for it, sharing your timeline in life, if anyone is convinced (that’s the belief) that you are someone who is not supposed to succeed in life, that will be the common theme played out, someone who is not famous, who does not take good photos, whos photos are viewed at a later point in time, then claim that it’s the photos that are offensive, or the genes of a person, to illustrate or remind of an episode or excuse, to say that the purposes for attack are on the basis of not liking a person who is not famous yet, so that’s what is concentrated on remembered then applied to you, expecting a similar reaction, someone who does anything to harm others and then tries to justify it, so that’s the not painful part of writing, its easy to say, but they will scare the two cents out of you in life, and even if it creates permanent injury or damage to your personal records and photos or videos, and that being hurt like you deserved it, to then share an example of another instance, which is not the fault of anyone who has been admired, is not expected to give attentions to anyone, that’s assuming the sexuality of people, and blaming the sexuality of people for gun violence, there are many things to be uncomfortable about, I don’t think not talking and allowing all this random pressure to float around is the correct response either, you can do your best to prevent the misuse of someone, but you also cant stop people from trying to make you look like you just didn’t care or wanted to look like you cared or were caring to accomplish a goal in freeing someone, and that’s not how life works, there are no systems of favors in life, everyone is responsible for representing themselves, and its never down to the wire, how a person should be represented, if you look like someone to fight then even if it’s the bad guy fighting you, it will be good people fighting you too, and if that’s to get you to share what you think, all the months in miunderstanding, and all the distaste and opinions held by anyone trying to blame you, like its not something that everyone should care about, is blaming who is okay with helping, to make them seem like they are not helping, on the basis of whether they are able to help themselves. So how does working matter, its not me that’s giving up, its me needing to work, not for representation, or for things to go well for me in life, its things are going well for me in life, so I am able to share that good rapport and luck with someone who is willing to employ me, so the sabotage, is in the fact that if one has mental health issues, I have tried to describe in therapy how Im affected by voices, I don’t think that helped and got voices before starting a new job, it will then be your stability not believed, and thinking you are trying to be around normal people for stability and that they cannot help you with a medical issue, and that doesn’t mean there is something wrong with you, its that you are expected to be more professional or more confident and if you don’t seem confident then it will seem justified that you do not have good purpose in life or cares, or were planning for an end result to favor one person, and I don’t think my entire legal education or LSAT performance was geared for a monetary goal, a fame goal, or a success goal, it was the goal to just get into law school and then from there graduate, so all the chances I had to keep a clean record and stay out of trouble, eventually, it gets worse the more breaks in life you take away from what your focused on, and that’s how you get hurt, it can be sober or during a moment where you are relying on meds to stay stable, if it’s a communication issue, it will start by saying less, the less you have to say, the more stable you appear, the more you have to say, the more it becomes about whether its worth it to help you, or whether based upon what you are saying justifies anyone past who not made to feel confident about your timeline, or what you’ve been through, thinks you don’t see the big picture, or are not on board in support of hardworking professionals who don’t have the time for all the psychoanalysis. My blog is important to me, I think taking down my website, is not symbolic of fault, its symbolic of not being good enough and if its not good enough I can start over, with or without voices, or going to the hospital. I went to the ER they did not admit me to the psych ward, I called the police, Ive informed the FBI, Ive called states for help, if its something past that is not understood now to connect then it will be on that basis that the past will take care of what needs work now, its not the presents job to use the past to communicate what is in error now, that’s not helpful. What is helpful is to comprehend what is the necessity of communicating ones doubts in life, how does that help others, what brings others peace to know that they are not at fault, and what makes it anyones business to convince you that you’ve done something wrong, before knowing everyone, then remind you that you are not connected, and leave you in that distant feeling, of being alone, not present, so the website was to show that I do think a lot, I would have a lot to say if I was asked to speak, and because I have been hospitalized so many times, maybe that means to focus on something other than just my schooling, in order to be more well adjusted to what is going right for everyone right now, not make it a situation where Im trying to explain my 2009, as though that’s okay to drink or try to figure out history on your own, it will hit you later in life, that you were not important then, and it will not be that important later to hear what you have to say, no matter how beneficial that is to anyone, to hear your story, all the hospitalizations don’t make you a reliable figure for input, it will be based upon how well everyone is around you, if you can do that much well in life, not affect others in the negative, not disappoint anyone, then you’ll have their heart, if you are someone that allows negativity to get to you, or complains, and doesn’t move forward, then those will be the bits and pieces of information known about you, to justify an attack on your character like that’s doing anyone a public service, to treat you or your writing as trash. So at what point does up high become affected, if we are wasting too much time, trying to figure eachother out, or defend truths not written down on paper, and let rumors fly, that’s not how to strengthen an idea about life as it is now, improved, and I think that my own improvements in life can be credited to everything that was going right for everyone, and that’s how things started to go right for me too, just like anyone, who is made to feel well, when others are doing well, not to be worried about, and also not living a life where unnecessary worry is occurring due to your own lack of success which blogging can replicate, the career I could have had, and the higher degree of difficulty that has been public speaking online, for whatever reasons it ever became about politics or history, I think if you care just be sure not to tantrum, and constantly assess the importance of what you have to say, will this hurt if this is something if told to someone that they hear and in support of another, or treat you as though you are not that person who was made to feel that way, why any amount of insult began to hurt, that’s them pretending to be someone of importance to see whether you improve, if you don’t want to get sick and complain, then that’s the only way to go sherlocks, improvement, its by mentioning less, that you are made to feel beyond an issue that was thought to be complex, that was never about you, until you acknowledged how anyone else may have been affected, and that’s a stance you cannot lose in, the one who supports others, if you don’t get the point, then you were never smart enough to share a room with 9 of the most intelligent, thoughtful, and kind hearted people on earth #scotus. Don’t let anyone tell your story for you, and be stuck claiming disability in life, I think Ive given up a few times going to the social security office, right now, Im working on moving forward in life, try to date, and not rely on messenger at any future point in time, which was fun, until everything got serious, and then it later becomes something that you don’t feel like doing sharing or taking photos, and if that was helpful to see what you look like, the loss of enthusiasm is not due to a fear, or a dysmorphia, its simply too tired to lighten up, and maybe nows not a good time, to pretend like everythings okay when its not okay, and let everyone catch up to whats a normal feeling, not be left stuck upset, theres another blog for that. The best finish line for anyone to get to in life, will be with clarity, with time to think about religion, and other countries, and languages, and all the other cool things to think about in life, not how is everyone connected, and why is she okay, because I have to write a lot to be able to write online, and that was pre-established, before anything bad happened to me, and to others, so that’s the only thing in common, I think nows not a good time to let any chaos overconsume your viewpoint in life, everything possible, you just have to not think that people are impossible, everyones not that stubborn, everyone wants to be happy eventually, no one wants to be blamed, everyone is trying to help, everyone thinks they have the right attitude, everyone looks out for everyone, but if you are able to stay smart through it all, alert, then yes you are someone who is supposed to help, that’s not a gift that Im willing to handout. Why I got a copyright, and now starting over! Thanks for reading along, hopefully the next few posts will go back to being research based, finish my Conflict Management certificate, one more section. That was the goal to apply what I know into words, I could study more, and then maybe that will help with arriving to a proper feeling, that’s not too time consuming to think about or wonder, just focus on yourselves, don’t worry about what everyone else is thinking, everyone just wants things to go back to how they were, when everyone was making money, and it didn’t matter who was being made fun of, that’s just how this Country works, respect it comes and it goes.