You have to be a very patient person to be loving and at the same time respect one anothers independence, there should always be one to set the limits for expectation in life, if one another is made to not be sure of the other, and that’s love, it’s a tough concept if youre not settled, fully blossomed, or know what you want in life, it can be hard to plan ahead with anyone either who is not made to feel confident by you. So be smart, don’t give up hope, its always best to stay, and one another fair better independent of one another, then that’s how things should be don’t think too much about it. All breakups are heartbreaking, its not something you can easily get the hang of, dedicating time and attention to loving someone, and not being someone who they are made to feel proud of, you will know later, what love is, if you have not been able to find comfort in any other man or woman for that matter, its just not the same as when you were well. So don’t get all broken up about where you could be in life, where you are, and sound so limited in life option wise. Bipolar is something you get treated for, it’s a lifelong condition, that if not managed appropriately with meds, in my case can get worse: talking to yourself, self-harming, trying to switch careers, following your heart, thinking everythings okay when its not okay, loving all the wrong people, allowing for yourself to get attached to people easily, intimidated, scared, forgetting your sense of normalcy, writing things you feel are important, but may not be what everyone wants to hear, you lose your touch overtime if youre not careful, whats appropriate and whats not an appropriate use of your time, no matter what youre goals are in life be efficient, the more pauses you take in life, and the less you are doing with your life, that causes a slow down, so don’t fret, don’t be too hard on yourself, its not a condition that anyone can think of and then experience themselves that’s not the proper way to think of anyone or even yourself if you have been questioning youre own health, most of what you go through lost, is something that no one can explain to you, so be a good person, get help, and do your best to be proud of who you are, no matter if youre the happiest person in the room, or the most quiet, you will always have your time to shine, now maybe might not be that moment for you, and there will always be a reason why, one is put into their shell about things in life, we were not all made to be confident in our approach in life, issue wise, but you know you best, so don’t allow yourself to feel so easily confused in life, if you are capable of doing most things on your own, then maybe its nothing to do with you, and something that someone else is going through in comprehending their own future and where they see themselves, support who loves you, and if for any reason you feel like youre not good enough for them, then that’s you looking out for their best interests not be someone complicated to care for, if things are not going right. I think before you start to analyze your own life, more things will have gone wrong for you, before you reach a state of being where you feel like no one can affect you, that moment may not be right now, but its worth achieving a state of being in which I do say the right things, and not allow for my feelings to be hurt, or to make anything not about me about me in life, you will never know for what reasons others feel so compelled to express themselves in life, just be appreciative of who is willing to step up to bat, it may never be your job in life, to figure anything else out in life other than yourself. Being alone can really take its toll on your psyche, you overthink the future, and you don’t look back often enough, whats more valuable to you, time that has passed, time as it is right now, or making time in the future for yourself to be the person you know you are, but have not yet been able to quite make that impression in front of others will full confidence. Trust that quiet space in a relationship, if theres nothing to say, that makes the relationship last that much longer, I think Ive been monogamous for 8 years of my life, and we were always both very busy, and didn’t text that much, call, or talk, the right person you will be comfortable with, and there shouldn’t be that much to say. One issue I have noticed on messenger, is that you end up talking a lot, but its hard to be comfortable with yourself, past the point of expressing any love of admiration for the other, that’s not insecurity, its just not recognizing that there is better than you, so it’s a trek to be considered if you are not the person you were independent, that can make most excitement fizzle, not what they expected. You cant make something work that’s not working, and that simply means that your mind may be better off focusing on something else, not waste too much time interpreting that “negative space,” or quiet, sometimes you have to be patient and give time for them to come around, and that will most likely occur when you are doing well, or doing something for yourself, that the other is pleased with, so that’s not being a bother, not being needy, being positive, being likeable, being social, at ease, so know your peace, and let the rest go, you should never feel like if a feeling can be achieved that it will be interrupted, or replaced with respect for another, you are you, and they are them, and if your in an intimate relationship, well surely there will not be anyone else, who they will see upon looking at you, you will know if you are not the object of their affection, and that’s something to be understanding of, that part of life involves meeting new people, even if on a limited basis, and they can only be in your life, so long as you appreciate them, not let them down, and be someone who they can be proud of having met, so this sound imaginary, but Im sure Im being careful about my own heart, his heart, and what will make things better, not to subject anyone to any negative feedback I feel like Im getting by “voices,” that’s really no ones fault and its not something that meds can solve either, it seems to have gotten worse, and the self-harm doesn’t make things better, it just makes me more insecure, not feel comfortable, not confident, then become overly concerned about what my face looks like, then don’t feel motivated, and not active running, and writing in the positive. So whatever lesson that was supposed to teach me, it must mean to compare me to any other couple in the news, which is really hurtful to me or anyone who has ever been exposed to any type of physical abuse, I have never been dramatic, or controlling, or demanding in any relationship, I don’t check on them, I don’t need to know where they are all the time, I see them again, Im busy, Im not thinking about or imagining who they are with, Im not assuming anything, if youre someone worth knowing, none of that will matter, but when it starts to matter, is when one or the other is made to feel bad about what life they have lived, whether they have tried hard enough, or whether they are in fact helping even if its way too late in the game to get to know someone on a friend level or get to see what Im like in a loving relationship that’s a side of you (at least for me) that not many see, that’s just not who I am to anyone, it seems to be a natural role reserved for who to admire or love, online it can be a weird experience I guess to see what someone looks like if its talking to someone they like. Not everyone gets that look in life, its rare to see anyone light up for you in life, so just be proud of yourself, don’t talk to much about anything special, do think about it a few times before you officially ask, if you got what you were asking for in life, many charades shows later, respect the age difference, understand if youre too late, and be thankful that they probably wouldn’t have cared if your best outfit was with a Target blouse with a tie that had buttons that snap on. There will always be hints of stuff that makes people happy around in life, it maybe isn’t a desktop reference with directions on how to think about life and what should make you light up, so really think about how you having lowered your standards in life, or by going out alone, and drinking, how that affected everything that could have happened for you in life and didn’t happen for you in life, not with expectation to have been treated any differently or special, all those awkward eye contacts, are simply to notify you, not to read into things too much, someone who values you will go out of their way to challenge you, give you work, and that’s because they trust that your hearts in the right place, so they don’t mind the added effort to help whatever the air is in the room, about, make things okay, so always do your part, if you cant be that person in the room, to learn from those who were those people in the room, and make sure to be someone that if anyone else was in trouble in life, or not sure of what was going wrong, to feel better suited to manage the rest of life on their own, without needing to talk to anyone else, that’s blind faith, that if you talk to the right people, you recover, and find yourself again, and if you get stuck talking to the wrong people in life, that’s okay too, that could just mean that youre a blogger.