Personal Update ….

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cup of coffee and laptop near empty notebook on table

Just talked to a psychiatrist almost gave up and was thinking to go to the hospital pack another bag, not doing well. At least in my mind. Its clear the instagram is not a good way to demonstrate that I acknowledge what is not going right or showing that I am thinking in the right way that is helpful for anyone to move forward that is not an interesting way to show that you care to mention anything that is hurtful to you or to others to comprend a loss that is not to be something that is to explain any condition that you are in later, thats a different life, your life is not the same as that life.

Sometimes I get carried away on @mymollydoll1985 (Instagram) but love the art therapy of assembly some fun ideas about life it’s always better to flesh out what’s important even if it later comes to mean less later on.

Sorry should not need help from anyone, thats not how to get better, you should not need to talk to anyone to figure out whats wrong with you, its not the meds, its by what is considered to have helped me or makes me feel better, whether thats a deserved condition taking good care of myself I think I can get sick and I dont think that writing is fun if there is something wrong and if you sound like youre into talking about life, like thats how life is or what life is about, thats not proper, to waste energy analyzing anything as being a cause for you later not feeling well its in discussion of others that you sound stupid, and then thats what causes loss of respect then thats what makes you look stupid, then you dont feel well, then no one can help you, then that means that hospital is for a condition that cannot be fixed if socialization is okay when well, but not if you have problems that is how people get hurt, not understanding why you dont feel good or worry that they should be made to wonder or be responsible for anything you become sad about thats not their fault that you are made to seem like you dont apptreciate if someone is nice to you, that that never happens, so to remember that its if you dont deserve to be helped that you look like you get attention, and then if you talk about it they look like they wasted time and energy helping someone who did not recognize how special it is to be around people who go out of their way to talk to you, most people dont approach you if you dont deserve it so dont be one of those, its not a big deal that I didnt get a ride home from the director of the program ran out of cigarettes (I was the only one with cigarettes I would have to give them away) left a day early, thats something that if not approved given a no, it would have been cool and that will probably never happen for me again to have a cool experience stuck in a car interviewed, that would have been fun, life is sad when there are men you value that maybe seem replaceable theyre not just anybody, and you will not always be in a place in life that they are willing to help you, and thats how you dont get to date, if you are hard on yourself, or made to not feel good about yourself, then thats you not feeling good, and you dont find men again, past bipolar meds, or jobs for that matter, its a tough subject why stay at home blogger thats not antisocial, thats not feeling good, in an imaginary place in life, going anywhere, thats not getting heartbroken, if things look like you are thinking the wrong things in life, thats not how to be loved, share about it, it takes years to get picked improve, its never a rush to date, they can always tell if there is something wrong with you, so dont panic, focus on yourself. -I stayed at an inpatient IOP, not a rehab, that was a joke, sorry if I made it seem like it was about addiction, it was for mental health, bipolar.

Taking a break from blogging its clear that I cannot handle the disappointment in letting others down so if it conecting less is the solution, then the less anyone will be made to feel affected for once having been able to support me, and not able to cheer me up in the event there is something that has happened that Im not proud of that you cannot prove wrong, anything you cant get over in life, becomes a lost cause, once you do not feel good, then it becomes futile to try to help anyone, if you are placed in a condition that upon questionning or discussion are made to seem like those points in time were not difficutl for you, or treat you as having anything wrong in the first place life should not be about getting hurt to know what the causes are for being hurt, there is a such thing as everything going alright, and if you become sick, then that leaves room such as taking an instagram down or blog, for time to view any hesitancy or backing off as being at fault, so you either can share or if you dont feel comfortable why would anyone else be to blame for your own discomforts in life, that you have to figure out on your own along with everyone who was made to feel like it was a wasted effort to be proud of you hopeful for your future, so thats the risk in thinking that whats occurring is a feeling that youre not having why not to take notes in therapy then that becomes an equation for assessing what kinds of pressures if you get put under are you made to talk about life in a way that you dont feel good, and its in not feeling good that you are made to look guilty, so its always by what hits you, is the reassurance that another needs to know that its not something that you were avoidant of or the cause of and if addressing an issue is not helping, then not to allow for your condition to fail to explain anyone elses failing condition be labeled similarly situated or appear at fault, thats whats painful about being well for others, the same things that hurt the ones you care about will hurt you too if mentioned, thats when you know you cannot help people who you care about if they feel like its you who were made to seem like you didnt care about others allowed for yourself to get sick or others, not making proper use of your time, being a positive representation, everything is fun and okay until you are not yourself anymore, and its not for anyone to teach you what is important for you to think about in the event that youre not feeling well, always take the concerns of others seriously, and all behaviors and dress attitude, and attire is used to take you less seriously in life, which is the cornerstone of insult, to see whether you recognize the significance of being around a reminder and whether you are someone who is affected upon being exposed to any reminder past which if you dont recognize why those members of history are important, then you get treated like you dont value your time, so those things that make you seem weird, is you trying to cheer someone up, so dont be stupid, and when people are giving up on you, maybe its because they have seen situations before in using “which is addiction,” which is if you are okay and sad and not on point, it then becomes what are you focusing on bothered by that either has become an issue why remembered by being anywhere that has nothing to do with anything in terms of what people think, a job is all you need to move forward in life, you should listen and not worry or explain yourself, thats how others become detached, and if its you that becomes assertive thats you taking anything personally, such as not being invited its a good sign if you are not viewed as fit for socialization, its who recognizes whats important is valued not who is anywhere or dressed anyway that makes them seem like they think how you look is what is supposed to make you confident or proud, no one who looks like they think they are important, is respected if they dont also recognize that being important does not mean that everything you do is so important that any breakup needs to be the excuse for what delusions you encounter when you misread a situation to be about caretaking, its for every first meeting, there is an adjustment phase, its another going out of their way to be enthusiastic about your future and learning how to work, a loss of enthusiasm occurs when you are not social, or dont wake up tired, or late.

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