No one has the right to punish you and cause you sickness, not if you are doing well and about to get a job and have move forward in life, but like all things you are what you allow to enter your life, and that’s how wellness leaves you, to support who is well, and by viewpoint view you are not well, and that’s how support is lost, its then by attitude, face health, and insult, who is to be credited for whos abilities in life, if its not by love, then its certainly not by punishment. So Ive never given up on myself, that also doesn’t mean that Im strong enough to be treated like a headcase, who does not value when things are well, that will never happen again, me doing well or me pushing through the obstacles in life, and no credit anyone to change of face. That’s not a methodology of influence in life that anyone should have the power to experiment with anyone about, the good health of others, including my own health. I have done my best not to be social, I will not date, I will not attend AA, and I will not make friends, its also become clear to me not to love anyone, not to talk to anyone, not to call the police or the courts unless absolutely necessary, so that sense of peace that anyone got from hearing from me, was because I was doing everything right, there is nothing wrong with me, that if its something you cannot accept that was done to me, then its also not your responsibility to reinforce those feelings to that I am known or attacked in life, like I deserve to be attacked not any missing link to anyones finer understanding of matters, its not me that inspires anyone to do the wrong thing, its that by lawsuit others are inspired to make me feel bad about myself, whether that’s by a book tampering, timeline, or story, what about my life, you cant expect me to keep going forward and getting hurt like that’s okay either. I don’t do that to anyone, I don’t high low them, I don’t treat people like theyre unimportant, and I don’t talk to people like theyre stupid, but if that’s your basis for complaint, to treat someone as too strong, or not having the issues right, then I don’t have to blog, I don’t have to go to therapy, I don’t have to call the police, I don’t have to call the courts, I don’t have to make friends, I don’t have to go to rehab, and I can just lie to my psychiatrist and come up with a scripted response, and not tell anyone if Im getting voices, or if my face is changing, or if I get dumped, or an STD, or get ignored, and if all of that is being done to me to communicate to everyone else that Im dirty, then don’t expect me to be loving during a time of need, when its not a good time to allow myself to be harmed or to be blamed about anything that’s not going right in the world. If you don’t want to hear my explanation or what I think then why don’t you write or speak and share what you think and that doesn’t require that you know me closely, to then treat me like that’s how I treat anyone who was close to me suddenly become important and continuously make me seem unimportant, then don’t hire me, then I don’t need to work for you, don’t reply to me, I don’t need to be nice to you, don’t talk to me, and expect me not to open up or to talk back. And that’s why people hurt me, because they think Im in some better world where I cannot get in trouble or am given advices in life, its not a fancy life, I get no advice not in therapy, not in AA, and not in relationships, not in law school, and not by attorney, no one explains to you why you have mental illness, it will be by what others think that you have done wrong, and that’s how you get treated in life, like an insect, or a bug, or stupid, or not grateful or not appreciative and it will be an upset or perceived insult that is sought, to say she is not cool or she does not understand or she is bothered or this is funny but she doesn’t think this is funny, and we have money but she doesn’t and she cannot get a job, and you expect me to make friends go to AA? When everyones treating me like Im dead meat, used up, diseased, or mentally ill, schizophrenic. You got what you wanted, taken off meds, then don’t fight me and put my naked body online and expect anyone to care, like that’s prevention, no one cares past lawsuit, the issue. That’s how you get treated like you don’t care, so there will be things that others will be okay with, and there will be no coming back from public humiliation, so if it was quotes fashion blogging, and homosexuality (gay), that bothered people, then I don’t have to work, I don’t have to talk to anyone, I don’t have to have sex with anyone, I don’t have to love anyone and I can stay home, I don’t have to be helped, I don’t have to be nurtured and I don’t have to be defended, no one needs to help me, no one needs to support me, and I don’t have to feel good, I don’t have to run everyday, I don’t have to blog everyday, I don’t have to talk to states, and I don’t have to be important, I don’t have to make money, I don’t have to try, and I don’t have to explain how my energy is being wasted accounting for another persons feelings, and why its okay for me to get hurt, to feel hurt, to be given up on, and to slam my head into doors, suicidal. How is that okay, for me to be treated as stupid, like I don’t acknowledge when things are well, since when have I ever not been well or not worked hard or not been nice to everyone. Since when do I have to experience sickness, or suicide, to help me understand what condition of anyone who has died, don’t you think that making good choices feelings wise is important to everyone, don’t you think that I am doing a good job, of making good decisions and choices, what else do I need to do with my life, in order for anyone to not be critical of me on the basis of what I think or feel, weight, who I like, what I sound like, to reassure who, that I am not mentally ill, or that I am normal or capable of working what greed?
Don’t make fun of me like some Wolf of Wallstreet joke, if no one is giving me love then I can make love to myself, if no one is helping me, then blogging was my career, if that doesn’t make sense to you, then don’t hurt me in favor of a man who doesn’t need me, or a woman who thinks less of me hurt me. That’s not what Im for for fighting to recognize your strength or intelligence, then don’t incorporate me into your life, and don’t make your upset in life my upset, let me move on.
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