When the Time Comes …

woman in blue dress standing on green grass field

#laxcourthouse (Day 15)

What are your laurels, it will be your wellness, that if you don’t protect that you later come to feel bad about yourself, and that will not be the fault of anyone should you fall ill, its that type of emergency in life that you get help not expect help to come to you, or anyone to fix you. This is my best effort so far at letting no annunciations go unnoticed by those who care and specialize in evaluating circumstances and taking precautions, which may not always be my stopping point so being here is a good example of when it hurts and you have to stop and actually think about what youre doing with your life, and if its hurting you, to recognize that maybe that is hurting the interpretation of another, and sometimes that’s how a calm occurs not by recognizing that you are at fault, but in recognition that they are not at fault, and sometimes thats how law and blogging helps to hear from someone other than yourself, and to allow for your own thoughts disorganized or on point to be forgiven, I am not afforded the same privilege of privacy in life, and that’s what happens when respect is lost, no one goes by you, no one believes you, no one understand you, thats what non-acceptance feels like and it hurts, in whatever later form manifests mental health wise, trust your instincts go by your comforts and understand that how you live your life private or public should be everything you are proud of no matter what you look like or what things look like, we are all capable of being stupid, just dont let others down in the process of living the rest of your life and try your best to correct what has gone wrong and not be the holder of those guilts in life either be put to blame or shame, if its fixable its not a problem, and allow for the rest to figure itself on their own which is others, whos opinions matter, so never forget to care what others think it will help you in the long run the more sensitive you are and the less defensive you are, not to allow for it by living through life in representation of anything thats gone wrong, there is more to life. So in the event that you become sick and no one can help you, dont lose faith, trust medical care, and respect the past, everything is too much upon mention thats pain, and even if its not your own pain, dont make it the pain of others to comprehend, what has gone wrong in your life, or by what you can be doing better drag anyone through the process of recovering from your own hurt in life. I don’t think I have ever been hospitalized in my life, by another, generally its always me going to the hospital, and even if there is a time to defend yourself, that also doesn’t mean that its okay for you not to get treatment if you are struggling and not doing well have mental pain, and physical pain, such as myself in November, it will be when people think you are up that you suffer losses, that’s not recognizing anyone as a survivor to the myriad of differences that people have by feeling upon meeting people who they do not view as in alignment to their own view of success and pride, and that’s okay not everyone wants to know you, not everyone cares about you, so if its not your issue then or later becomes an issue later, it will be because no one sees you as suffering, no one sees you as broken, and no one sees you as good, so that is for #Spitzer to decide when Im on board, when Im overboard, when Im helping, or whether anything is just for me. I would not write from the heart for free if there was a monetary or business or fame goal, I was happy as is. 

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