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My Head Matters Too …

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I just heard Justice Alito recently in the news say the word “quintessential,” I once used the word on a blog post on mymollydoll.com. I remember when I was into it and fun, do my best to be more of that and less of the negative end of things, which I think no one wants to read for fun and then be exposed to what I call “aggravation conversation,” it would be the things that are bothering you which upon discussion bother you again, and Im sure that is something that would then worry the reader or who you are connecting with making for a less then intimate conversation, and create for a more intense environment. As an avid messenger user over the years, its been a blessing and a curse to connect with others, hopefully nothing that I later come to regret, it wouldn’t be sharing your life with someone, if it wasn’t worth living the life that you have lived. I have always been someone to say to live life without regrets, you know you wont get a right with everyone, especially in intimate relationships, that seems to get things fuming in all the wrong directions in life, and especially during COVID it can be a very painful experience for someone who on the basis of what you have to say, treats you differently simply because of your mental health issues, we cant all be our loving selves, if we don’t feel like it, and that’s something you learn in all relationships, it wont always feel that way so to appreciate the moments when it does feel that way, and don’t forget all the people that you are letting down, when you cant feel that way. It can be an incredibly frustrating process of feeling loved, and being open to the possibility, if there is something past that is keeping you from feeling good, so in all your best good graces, step away from things that are no longer bringing out the best in you and be thankful for all of those who eventually do come around and start being nice to you again, we cant all be “friends with benefits,” eventually we have to settle down, and find people to love and adore in real life, so if you haven’t found that yet, don’t lose hope. Im someone who has been alone since 2013, and have not been in a serious relationship for many years now, and its been really hard, to only be seen once a year, or to wait months and years just for one date, that’s working on yourself. You wont always be in the right place in life to date and to be loved, so be someone who appreciates the love that you get in life, and be someone who is able to move on in life, that’s the kind of person that I am not picky, but also not someone who gives love so freely to the extent that I am no longer marketable for marriage, I always saw myself as marriage material, and maybe that was something that I was getting well for, so although it may be fun to test the waters, and to explore modeling, think will this affect my ability to get married one day, will this affect my ability to get a job one day, will this affect my readership as a blogger, and go from there. This is why all intimate relationships online, are an extremely risky endeavor, if a breakup in real life is difficult, then online will be no different, and maybe with an even worse result. So being online allows people to get to know you, so I understand that people will feel close to me, that doesn’t mean that I am comfortable being close to people, that will not change about me, being shy, taking awhile to warm up to people and to be myself, and keeping to myself, that’s just me. 

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https://muckrack.com/leslie-fischman

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