Christmas is right around the corner, and Im sure we will all soon be surrounded by friends and family sharing the comfort of one another, after a couple difficult years with COVID surmounting, hasn’t that been the fear on our backs for some time, Im assuming it will linger, but that doesn’t mean that we have to let it fluster our feathers, is there still time for love? I think right now is a good time not to be selfish, to be understanding of everyone recuperating from a slow couple of years, and to be patient with one another, whether that’s time your investing toward making things happen for you in life, or time invested in getting to know one another, the times are slow, we could be living on an island in a vacation town for all I know, but Im assuming that that’s normal for businesses, to go through slow phases, the same goes for me blogging I guess, although the height of my blogging career occurred in October 2020 during COVID, that was pretty special. -Back to love. Love is a beautiful feeling, and especially now, I don’t feel like we are experiencing love in the same way, in companionship monogamously with one, not now with social media, and all the pressure to network and be social, our time is split in half, and so is our energy for that matter, its hard to get close to people and to allow people to get close to you, I know Ive experienced some of that introversion in the last couple months, wanting to keep to myself, Im assuming that’s part of the healing process, to need some alone time to rest and recuperate no matter what from. To me being positive means have the ability to talk with people, without making anyone feel indebted to you, or obligated to help you or to pay attention to you, its allowing people to like you or be around you at their leisure, that was the type of girlfriend I was never demanding of the time of others, even if I wasn’t the one they were bonding with on an intellectual level seeing eye to eye, with pop culture its hard to be on the same wavelength as others sometimes, maybe why I started blogging, if you cant figure out what the conversation is about or if you feel left out in a conversation, that could just be something to do with social skills is all that is anyways, nothing to fret about. Theres so much more to life than sex, and this I figured out when I stopped dating 2013, is when I left my last serious relationship, I was soul searching, and whether I found myself in a better place, I wasn’t in the same place with them able to be the person that I was throughout the duration of the relationship, so long as there was something missing from my life a JD, you later learn to fill those voids and move on, but in your younger years these setbacks can be devasting, thankfully I cured that void, by getting into another law school which was quite the achievement for me, having been weight listed at Thomas Jefferson School of Law 2009, so that was a huge accomplishment for me just to get in. I would say that had I not experienced mental health issues, I would have graduated and hopefully moved on to study for the bar, if I did well on exams, then passing would not be a problem, except my grades started falling, when I wasn’t focusing on just law school, I thought to myself, maybe I shouldn’t have dated in law school, felt like that was a big mistake. But as you get older you learn to accept yourself as you are, and what opportunities are made available to you, and resent less what is not going right for you, based on the time you think is being spent with others, and start being more accountable and taking more responsibility for your time and how it is spent, and hopefully you don’t learn this the hard way and have to experience set back like me in life, in order to get things going right for you in life, and still try to make time to date again, its been 10 years, so I will have to start thinking about finding someone to settle down with, and right now I cant muster up the energy to be in a committed relationship co-habitating with someone, I just don’t think that I have that in me, to be around someone so much, not when you have been through so much trauma and hurt with mental health issues, you kind of just want to be alone. So that’s where I am in life, I though that I wanted to get married and have kids, and that didn’t happen for me, and now I don’t know what to do with the rest of my life and don’t know whats in store for me, which is why Im in a companionship right now, just talking and no sex, for me that’s bonding with someone, and not in a romantic way with expectations and finances, and property involved, as it turns out you lose a part of you when a relationship ends, for some reason people who come into your life treat it as a marriage feeling entitled to something from you, or for you not to be doing well, in the event that you need to be alone, and I don’t understand why you get treated that way. So for me love is not for that, possession, control, or making anyone feel bad, for me love is about feeling good, its about making people feel safe, its about being trusted, and its about no matter what goes wrong in life, things go right again, and for me that is faith, that no matter whether you hear from them, they are around, or you are up or down, they still check on you and want to be around you, and to me that’s love, it’s a feeling that doesn’t need to be replaced or be taken possession of by another, it’s a feeling that’s within you, that they can return to. My Mother always raised me to “be a rock,” someone that others can rely upon, and someone who a man can go to when they want to be around you, so I was raised no to expect that people will be around you all the time, I was raised to “keep busy.” Love can also be everything going right for you, I know as a law student studying, and playing club soccer, and kickboxing at the gym I had a ton of energy single and was feeling good compared to now where my time and activities are limited, never ever did I think that I would face any kind of disability in life, I thought that the worst had already passed by me in life and thought that I was on my way to a better life, to a career in a suit was my dream. But that never happened, thankfully I found blogging instead, a place where I can be myself, share my mind, and also share all the pitfalls of “companionships on messenger” they seem right at the time, some of those relationships end in scams and defamation, but for the most part I enjoyed getting to know others, reaching out to others in the community, and getting to talk to people, as a law student I didn’t have that much time to be social, its also been a good way to get to know people as a blogger, and get to know the distances of most people being hard to get through to I guess that’s life, its easy to get to know me, hard for me to get to know others.