Sorry about today over posting. Think I’m just going through a lot thinking trying to keep busy and stay out of trouble or controversy, that it all came to the surface every fear or thing I noticed and responded to and wondered about the same what are the causes for suicide first and foremost I wouldn’t know everyone’s situation compared to my 2009 but it’s about connecting more trying therapy and sticking to meds to stay balanced it seems to be a tendency you have that things become off balance so that’s how meds help. I try my best to express concern and share how I have been made aware of issues and what that triggered for me that it must be hard for anyone coping with the uncertainty of why people decide to leave or give up and don’t really want to justify it or explain it and can see how that’s controversial not good to influence those here if what’s appropriate to feel no matter how difficult life gets. Really need to focus on who I’m connecting with and what about and like today a bad day after not sleeping last night working at my computer all night studying CITI research reading, stay calm get my sleep take my night meds even if I’m awake at 1am not stay up the rest of the night it’s a bad habit that started in law school on westlaw only accessible after business hours so should not engage in unhealthy sleep patterns seems to affect my confidence the next day become worried or nervous and get voices. So my innocence is so important to not be left with any feelings of guilt over how I conduct manage my life feelings and emotions and stay healthy. Texted my therapist because I need help fixing my daily schedule get focused on what’s important what’s my issue what are the issues of others and how and why not to get into what makes other people sick and get sick myself talking about others in the news. Meeting with my psychiatrist tomorrow to get my monthly Invega shot for schizophrenia to treat (voices) and any other disorganized states that I may or may not exude online and in writing, Ive done my best to write well speak clearly, but then again there are always reasons for negative judgment and I don’t think that the new diagnosis helps.