abuse, advocacy, affirmations

How to Let Things Go Post Trauma … #stopschoolshootings

One of the first things I learned about myself moving forward is about being eligible to work for any type of victim services, so that was a good point Greg Gutfield, that it would be ridiculous to have someone like “OJ do victim services.” Whether I relate to that or am offended by that as a woman, or by the charcter of my relationships with others, is for another story, read into, I think Ive outgrown the paranoia of feeling “me against the world” or on teams that don’t exist, and yes it would be selfish to assume that my story or experiences and deductions in life are not better suited for helping someone else, who has not yet started the process of healing, whether they want to hear from a “non-success” story or “heartbreak” I don’t think I would be asking for sympathy either, in that respect since I was able with effort on my part over the years to earn privileged back such as working again, this time for pay the first time in my life good enough for a paid position, reliable enough, and with everyones support and belief, and be dated again, at the discretion of the man of course based upon when its necessary or helpful or not needed, I don’t think I have ever been disadvantaged in that way to not have love offered to me, when well, it’s a new thing to not be doing well, etc, and to have your options limited, based on risk, or reputation for that matter and like all things I don’t think it helped to be so open about whatever has happened to me in life, or how shocking and affected I was or others, I don’t live my life daringly, or out when its not a good time to be out, but then you learn about how to observe others, the environment, when people are out, home, aggressive, upset, at peace, and not bother the sense of others figuring out your own instabiltities in life, something Ive mentioned past, why does it always occur that when things are peaceful, that there is action, and I wont know that response, until I was made to be isolated, and not in tune with others, and by how I responded, in action when others were at rest or at peace, that doesn’t teach you anything, but to trust others more, and that you can’t afford second chances in life, or be made to look bad, by dating, going out, or being promiscuous, only makes you lose arguments, once those arguments are being build against you, and that’s how image compassion and reputation work, either you rise to the occasion of being fortunate to shine in life, or live by disappointments, and not furthering those disappointments. After reviewing the characteristics of “shooters” I have become aware that there are similarities to what I have gone through in life, alone, that is being used by others to either convince me that I would have a good read on them or understanding, to know how to speak to those who are “homicidal” or have “anger” toward others, and I don’t think that my situation accurately details those manifestations, because some of it has to do with what you have, and who you are, and what your associations are, and how you respond, and what you have written, seems to be the constant theme, of everyone knowing and everyone reading and everyone treating you differently, or acting as though your Twitter is responsible for 2012. I think I was already in depression, treated by TMS, which was painful and not doing well and had two jobs that July at the DA’s Office and at a Criminal Defense Firm, at the time my then ex-boyfriend was paranoid about my working he didn’t want me to work my first paid job in marketing, and I guess I was doing as I was told, show that Im working hard out in the world, to show how I faired, and didn’t seem to have any problems, I think things hit you in the wrong way, and you feel belittled or bullied or intimidated by others, when it becomes something about you that has been identified as needing work, either you recognize it and work on it, or you don’t, and some people turn to writing, like my Brother in NY, became a blogger, which others read, including my family, at the time, I saw that as his recovery from rejection applying for jobs. He complained that it was his grades in college, we lost that camera of family photos.

Here are my initial thoughts when thinking about school shootings:

  1. Overhead Politics
  2. Pride and Earning Respect
  3. Examples of Success and Know How
  4. Demonstrations of Ability
  5. When One Falters How One is Judged
  6. Weaknesses in Opinion
  7. Sticking Up for Yourself
  8. Being Picked on in Life
  9. When You Don’t Know Whats the Matter
  10. Being Communicated To
  11. At What Point to Communications To Matter

I think people only think I can directly relate based upon a yearbook that hurt my feelings, voting me “mist shady” and never saw the ballot, I was going through a depression from sports injuries and got into smoking weed socially with guy friends, and was not much of a drinker, threw up on myself in a limo in front of my friends, so I was social, but not an elitess, always myself, okay. My response to the yearbook, was the reverse in college, socialization was not preferred a non-smoking dorm, not a party dorm, and that was that, and played club soccer, didn’t date and focused on school, I could have been more social, I had friends, but school was very hard. 

  • Criticism How that Takes Away from Enthusiasm

Part of writing this research paper, is to illustrate that its okay to care by permissions and phone calls and no one stopped me from opening up, so long its not about love and privilege all things aside, not motivated by competition or showing anyone off, or proving anyone wrong, if its to the benefit of all and can be said in a way, that doesn’t take away from all the work that has been done, then we can give everyone the benefit of the doubt in knowing that no one is expected to respond as I have and share a unique traveling experience getting to know the world, and overcome devastation, Im sure we have all felt that way, no matter who was the idealized version of a coming to be, and coming to age we admired, cutting my won hair during COVID has always been an inspirational moment, when you want to help, you recognize that you have to be someone that everyone likes, and those are our role models, Ive always seen the positive in it. So coming from me, it will not be clear because you will be thinking of me, but when you have the right things in mind, we hope that you’ll find clarity, Im sure the same thing goes for my BFF who initially could not talk to me blogging, does not prefer Twitter, and has since replied on occasion when Im doing normal challenging things like getting a job, and becoming an adult. So when it comes to others, if you are trying to help, honesty is to illustrate that no matter what background you come from, Im sure all care, and this is the one issue we don’t talk about, or make happen, or make fun of, or criticize, it’s the one thing that gets prevented by law, not necessarily by criticism of “public responsibility” “blog” or “social media” no matter how otherwise expressed by others, as daunting, complicated, and run rampant for destruction toward.

“Getting a better grasp of school shootings, as challenging as it might be, is a clear priority for preventing harm and disruption for kids, staff, and families.” https://www.brookings.edu/blog/brown-center-chalkboard/2022/01/26/school-shootings-what-we-know-about-them-and-what-we-can-do-to-prevent-them/

  • Pick and Choose Your Battles, How to Be a Hero

The delayed gratitude, in fighting no battles to arrive at solution, requires restraint on the part of each problem-solver, call it compassion, but it’s the strength in leadership found among, not just to oneself, that becomes the most reassuring asset to any group’s confidence the matter, something that can build, with potential, be left as we were before trauma, that’s being left better off, with a feeling that increases in value, the longer that its kept, a good feeling, and that’s the trouble with beliefs, feelings, and emotions, we can remind ourselves of how to be, but sometimes our instincts and senses get the best of us, no matter what your diagnosis is, you will think you are right before another can see what you feel or think, the goal is not to be right in the face of proving others wrong, but to be able to explain your thinking, without drawing assumptions to the beliefs, feelings, and thinking of others. Sometimes we are headed on the right paths in life, and that pathway will not always stay clear, like any hurdles in life toward accomplishing bigger goals in life, publishing, and being known and respected as a writer, requires some consistency, we don’t always need people or God to test us, but for some that’s added reassurance that the timing of responses is not for intended goals alone, but also can be swayed and mitigated by the emotions and feelings of others, success is not a solitary sport, its impossible to feel good alone, there will always be sadness to being alone, its something we hope for to be apart of, unless our stories portray a different version of happiness, that others fall in tune with, even if its not about your own life considered by the lives of others from stories, they think more important than your own acquired disposition in life. So that’s how the beauty in a story for solution, no longer becomes the solution, when the story becomes about a different class of individuals, assumed situated among to explain. 

  • The Importance of Writing

Writing is one of the best forms of communications, especially for those who have difficulty talking, or who are not public speakers naturally, maybe not in a presentable way as we would expect, sometimes comedians or good friends don’t come across in that way assertive or bossy, but good responders to situation, who’s goal is it anyway to abandon a friend, we mostly hear each other out without making anyone look worse off, without mention who has caused harm to them no one intends to make people feel that way, sometimes the only reassurances you can get in life, that others care is to at best be yourself, that’s how to make things better. Based on my own experiences when I do not appear well, or look or sound poorly, that makes everyone who once knew me differently wonder about me, some are like that and I guess I was one of them unassuming, someone you never expected to get sick or hurt or not be able to handle themselves in life and that’s okay, you would never take things personally, unless it was your feelings hurt, and that’s focusing on yourself, you’ll learn later in life how to be social within reason, and not have to give up parts of you in a loving way, if that’s how you have felt hurt or cried, and maybe that’s something that men don’t know how to do, how to just be friends, I guess if you are chill and its easy and not a big deal to you, then maybe I have not been educated on how that makes a woman look or feel or what could go wrong in the event that you look bad, I have never looked so bad in my life, that anyone has treated me as stupid or intimidated me, so I guess that’s all that that was teaching me, so if there is anything that my disposition is not teaching or shocking to recognize is how your reputation and how you carry yourself and talk about yourself, and your experiences in life matters, and “never to play victim,” that’s the lesson, how quickly you lose love and get sided against, I guess that’s God’s way of teaching you that if they are not needed that you are not needed, no even by who loved you or cared about you, made to think less of you, and so we have these first lessons in life. I think not having sex should not hurt people’s feelings, I think it happens, but with mental health issues, you are not as free as you once were or ready, its kind of something that you need to be strong for, resilient, based on my own experiences, theres a lot of flirting, competition for attentions, and you have to be mature, sober, and able to not be bothered by people being friendly or possessive, it’s a kind, world, friendly, you will learn, even in your hermit years, no you will no have a royal cave of respect in life, share it!

So one of the simple ways to improve how you approach subjects would be to replace an old memorized blip about me Leslie ____ when ____ and she reacts ____, instead as applied to others SO an SO will ____ when I _____ and she will feel this way ______ but do not expect a reaction and an explanation in words, most are not paying attention and that’s how it should be, in the world of dating before rings, its what comes back to you you know is yours, eventually you have explored the world so much so, that you find someone who is in absolute admiration of your every move, and kind find anyone like you, sometimes it takes that much bonding to be sure that one another is a good fit for the other, ro so we learn, and some are just friends.

Replacing Old Thoughts With New Thoughts, How Peace is Made! So if you don’t like mine you will surely like another bloggers big picture pointers, they are even being more specific nowadays, just not as specific as me about my life, unfortunately, I have a lot of clarifying to do, to make sure that no one feels like a fly on the wall pointed out, no matter how successful its not a comfortable position to be known by people you did not know closely, but trust that it’s the friends in common that matter, teaches you that you still do matter even if youre not as cool or successful as them and that’s what makes my story cool, should’ve interviewed my classmate, but that’s okay Im sure he remembers me and Im sure Ive said something wrong past and Im sorry for whatever pain that caused anyone or made anyone to believe in any faults none directed or handed to anyone I knew in life, but “no more friends at the house!” Im sure was the correct response to whatever transpired, and that’s how I stopped being social, a car accident leaving my house, I was about to get into one of the car’s that crashed and my BFF said, “Leslie, stay here.”

How You Explain No One to Blame and Call Uvalde and Start Explaining More on Prevention Less on Specifics and Explain to Whos Alerted to Your Identity What’s Not Been Done on Your End or What You Believe was Done to see if that’s the cause for Blame … (Instagram/wordpress)

  • Managing Your Time Analyzing Your Life, Life as you Know It, Life that has Passed

Figuring Out Whats Important to You in a Position of Advocacy, Your Love, or Others Need to Be Loved, It Should be in your Best Interests, to Put Your Needs Second to Others, Learn Limitations, If not Beginning with your Immediate Surroundings. Once Good at Can Handle Larger Audiences and the Dynamics of Those Changing Features. Example of a Non-Issue, working versus at peace, concentrating, versus conversing, able to be attentive, versus focusing. Dilemma how to make others feel recognized and included upon focus, not on just yourself, and to not allow for the grievances expressed by others, to be used as example as to your life of interpreting thing as a whole, this is when the sum of its parts does not add up. What you have to say is a reflection of you, whether you want to be influenced or not, whatever changes the direction of your speaking, will be clear if it bothers you or in a good way reminds you of an issue you either have or have not applied, and how you identify with that term. 

  • Relevancy of What You Remember as Applied to You, How You Learn or Taught Lessons

The relevancy of what others have to say is not directed toward you unless you speak to it. The lightness of feeling good, lasts among the least involved, that’s not sheltered in a good way by any language barriers or successes, it just means that people have identified to what extent they want to internalize data to mean something to them true or not, and go by their own devices, I think that’s the lesson with technology and capabilities, to think beyond what you feel or what you see and know, and to not take offense to anything assumed directed toward you, for whatever purpose that’s intended to insult you, or communicate to others your speed and direction in life, or what slows you down in life for that matter. I sense that my curiosity to help and take a leap of faith, no matter how painful and awkward, was not met with respect later on in life, thought to be something big or meaning something purposeful, and I had no intent to travel for any purposes personal, or you either decide to travel and get to know others, or stay isolated. I think I did my bets not to go out, I didn’t get to go clubbing, or go to bars, I didn’t get to date or flirt, I didn’t get to go to any group meetings or hold leadership positions, I didn’t get to attend weddings, I did not get to graduate. Missing out in life, is not always your fault, its probably my disposition that things look easy to me, thinking it’s the pills that male me speak, or upon speaking, say is “my head” or “rambling” or “disjointed.” I don’t think I speak unclearly I think I make sense, and it unfortunate that I have to make sense of what there is to doubt or not like about me, before I can move forward in life, and that’s how my happiness was taken away from me, and my ability to be normal and to just work. Lifes not easy for me, I could give up, I could get fat, stay home, and not work, I could not date, I could not text, I could not take photos, and I could not have finished my masters, there are a lot of ways that I could have ruined my life and not improved my chances of moving forward in life and be stuck at home bedridden on Invega shots or abilify, and stay in bed all day, but I chose to move, because I don’t deserve to be sedentary Im not a threat, I don’t need people, I don’t take people away form people, Im loving, Im supportive, and Im not jealous, or territorial, or vindictive, for the most part I walk away from things, if I don’t belong, and that’s how I am. You can’t fight to keep things in todays world, you either deserve to be places, or you don’t. 

  • A Non-Issue, Recurring Issue

#worldpeace – I did my best I don’t photo only later in life when it mattered. 🐽 why I’m alone. Pattern: I like them they like them more he doesn’t need me connected. So that’s why I’m always alone. Normal because if you grow up with nice things they think you don’t recognize how special they are so they think they can do a better job taking care of him. Loving above me helps #myfamily, the rumors and assumption order of responsibility or respect changed. No one at fault who inspires is assumed to allow so I’m not sure why it was allowed for me to be hurt but my tolerance waned so I’m not sure what the tolerance of others are for a disrespect taking hold being who I am if I speak I’m disrespected and whoever did not respect me is respected more than me that’s how respect works if you talk about your life it’s assumed you talk to look better so in the reverse it occurs that your flaws are pointed out to make you seem insecure to your own story or deficiencies in life not as special to see if you can make yourself special is I guess what the test is to not have anyone to confide in to console me to be on my team in life who gets me for the first time I felt like my humor and my thinking was carefully thought about rather than me being made to think about where they are coming from I’m just as new as everyone else it’s not until you bite the apple is how the game works either you speak to it are changed or pressured by it or upset by it or you admire others I think admiration stops once blame begins so me appearing at OCDA or the police is not blame giving up or suicidal or accepting blame it’s me fighting the circumstances that are not put down on paper or taken to court to say why it’s not fair to say that I’m not doing my part online helping everyone not contributing to the causes no matter what my race is I have not brought it up as an issue it’s only until there is hate that it becomes relevant.

  • Preventing Recidivism of Problematic Behavior

Already in discussion pleased to see, “check in—either with an individual directly or with someone close to them (such as a parent or guidance counselor).” https://www.brookings.edu/blog/brown-center-chalkboard/2022/01/26/school-shootings-what-we-know-about-them-and-what-we-can-do-to-prevent-them/. We have many apps now making mental health care and psychiatry more affordable no matter what issues you have, in recovery, dual diagnosis, legal, or criminal, some stay sick, some make it back, you never know, it all depends on who you are, are you willing to repair yourself and the condition you were in, do you still believe in the fully able person you were, at what point are things unmanageable not fixable, permanent, is the damage permanent, do you keep getting sick, can you get better, and what does it take for you to stay stable, how far off are you from being independent or leading a normal life, can you be taken care of? And this is where #toddspitzer comes in, I was in a place that no one could date, or take care of me, or hire me, I was that unstable not consistent day to day or week to week, let alone represent him to others, or stand next to me and stand for the same things in life, sometimes you have to meet someone halfway in life, and that explains all the job application fails, that when there is talk, it does not continue because I do not stay well, and now with intermediate jobs, if I do not perform well, then that explains a prior job of not doing well, and to whos story is this strengthening, we wonder? I think ability and reliability go hand in hand, look how much I have improved since writing my first blog posts and book, I have improved exponentially and that’s writing, as you read more, and practice you develop a confidence in what you have to say, and that’s were the length comes from in writing, and the sense, either easy to read or hard to read, depending on the reliability of you ending with purpose, and don’t waste the time of the person reading, who expects by heading and topic, to be given a response related not off tangent wander. Wandering illustrates that you don’t know what to say, or thinking, and in a position where a response is expected or demanded, felt you are in the wrong, they expect clear, no delays. So that’s the insult to injury, you will feel on a hot burner, but that’s expected, courtesy. 

  • Lack of Role Models and Positive Outlets for Personality Types

If we are limited to be better than one another, than who are we improving for, eachother, and imaginary audience of competition, lets not lead by reaction for confirmations over who is ahead, if only we could just be proud of one another, and think less about where its coming from or whether its earned, I think we all have access to enough resources by now that we don’t even need friends or boyfriends in real life, I know I did just fine with pen pals, and hashtagging trying to join blogging communities, but guess I never fully developed as a socialite online, and Ive always thought that I needed to be completely commercial in order to fit in and not shock anyone with any amount of guilts that could be handed over to me in life, none that I have not alrwady expected or anticipated and mentioned in private. So its not a shock to me, and its maybe not for me, but it serves a purpose, so always guess that that purpose is positive, especially when it comes to losses, if its not represented in the positive, than one would not look good, in similar shoes surviving, addictions, and schooling issues, and live to speak about it. 

How necessary is this to relate to isolation, no matter how we get there by punishment or not by our fault, there are plenty of people in the world to connect with, never feel limited by your surroundings, read, get your mind of others, the less they will bother you or be influential in your quest to prove wrong ot to justify a wrong by proving innnocnet people wrong or influential in a negative way, not worth fighting for, or wrongfully accuse as being fought for on behalf of, recognize what is for everyone, I don’t think crimes are for everyone, so that type of psychology should be judged differently, not credit anyone for trying to solve problems by causing problems, there is no high power that can save someone who thinks doing wrong is the correct thing to do, no matter whether guilty or innocent, it’s a non-stop empowering trip down memory lane backwards until all confirmations feel correct and right about a person, and sometimes by focusing on the timelines of others you can be so convinced that they were big enough to have had that much expected of them, or imply they hurt themselves or wrongfully accuse them of accusing others of hurting them purposefully, you wont know youre hurt until you look bad. So whether relevant I question whether the issue is about a “report a history of rejection, with many experiencing bullying.” I think these are excuses for a disposition that one cannot make themselves feel better, and that there is no other order of thinking absent minded them to feel good. Im sure this is an area of peace that can be expanded, more opportunities to be relieved of social pressures or madr to talk about why they are not like, and accept themselves as that way, just as I have received Facebook reports, when I assume that its what I look like causing others to think poorly of me or cause voices, which occur and then used to blame incidences on voices, as though getting voices is a precusor to sabotage or ruin ahead, and Im sure that voices whether on my team or not, are not anyone that I have to defend, as making feel that way toward me, I think Ive created great inputs in life, and high quality writing, and nice photos for a timeline. 

Please Note: To Be Completed in a Second Draft – To-Do 08/20/22 (Taking a Break) 6:30pm

The Marginalization of Mental Health Issues, Why or Why Not Highlighted

Depending on your disorder, some things cannot be fixed, only better managed, accepting yourself the way you are, and hoping for better outcomes in the future is always a good personal goal to have whether by sharing, or experiencing life, be able to live as best as you can, with all deficits and hurdles, and that requires disclosure, its not something that you can fake, or not disclose when there is an issue mental health wise, and although people will be understanding of “mental health” in general, that does not mean that those “acceptances” are for abuse, including errors ongoing, or past, is not the responsibility of others to care for you and correct, that is something that you must overcome on your own, so its okay to be alone, if its your own “street” you are cleaning, then that’s about you meeting others halfway, if its about you looking good or not appearing good enough to undo any harm believed to have been suffered as a result of you not doing well, then that’s another burden of responsibility to care for others no in your life, this is something that you should always keep in mind as a blogger, although things may be going well for you that doesn’t mean that things are going well for others. I think I did a good job of not over inflating my problems, sharing if necessary and not making permanent displays about things, I have always done my best to be accepted, and improve, not because of non-acceptance, to have people in my life simply, I understand that there are commitments that Im not able to meet professionally and visually in order to be accepted into certain places of work and can accept that, when I am well, or on days that Im not well stay home. This is a created circumstance through talking of tremendous stress, (on as prescribed) and lots of driving and sitting in public working, where appropriate. That’s not to allow myself to be harmed, that’s to make sure that I don’t get voices, as though I have done something wrong, in defense of others, as though I have wronged them. I think the difficulty is being in my life, I don’t think its difficult to be in other people’s lives I just don’t feel comfortable, and it takes a long time to warm up to people, and maybe that’s the side of me missing, that’s expected, and its not intended for me to be made to not like myself, be embarrassed, not proud of myself, or in the reverse treat me as though Im a different person than my pictures, and mismanage who I am as a writer, based on appearances, or dress, health, face, connection, acceptance, or rejections in life, that will not change who I help in life, or what Im about, I think I will always be geared at pushing myself, getting tired, figuring things out, learning on my own, being social, and not making light of my experiences like they were unimportant or uninfluential, you are only young once. Unfortunately if you are treated as bad, it makes it difficult to have things in life, or be accepted for positions where you would be trained in how to manage guilts or figurative language not make personal or make people feel bad. Going to Court and Jail and DA’s Office to write is for me, because for me that’s the right thing to do, not by photo, or work, I don’t feel well, and I got COVID because there is something about me, that looks off, or not well, and that’s what can be fixed by court. 

Also note, “half of K-12 shooters have a history of psychological problems (e.g., depression, suicidal ideation, bipolar disorder, and psychotic episodes).” https://www.brookings.edu/blog/brown-center-chalkboard/2022/01/26/school-shootings-what-we-know-about-them-and-what-we-can-do-to-prevent-them/

At What Point Do All Feelings Matter, How to Disburse Support

That being said, there will be limitations for help and support, as a law student you are expected to be smart, to know the law, to know how to vocalize what you are thinking, know how to help others, and how to put together words that make sense, and are somewhat focused on the task at hand or what is asked of you, not veer off course. And I think with the expectations of social media, things can be going well for you in life, but your social media and blogging may not be equally impressive, and that may be another cause for attack, as though my whole hearted effort was not put into my blog, and at one point enlightening, and organized and unique, and so things change, Ive never worried about who I should be compared to become less enthusiastic about working or writing, I think Ive done my best on Invega shots monthy, and I am now making the decision to stop Invega because I am not working enough, and I am not writing enough, I am not attending AA meetings, I am not recovering from immaturity, I don’t have the energy for texting, I am easily aggravated, I am not able to share love and give love, and I am not making people happy and how I am sleepy, or not working hard enough, upsets others, and that is something that I need to work on, whats upsetting about me, or influencing or inciting, anger toward me. I think on one side people can be nice, and there is another side of disappointment, and I think the anger stems from people believing that you have done something wrong, and then think that you sharing is wrong, or not important for your mental health, and what you went through privately, I think if you are not sharing about it in public, they assume its easy to fathom or accept, its not. 

Why does this matter? Maybe like me people are seeing things or upset by things, let them be, eventually there will come a time, when the right people will step up to the plate, and provide assurances of whats important to focus on, and whats not in their power to fix, and how to still have faith in good things to come, and not worry about how bad things happen or for what reasons, or blame women, their bodies, their personalities, their smarts, their likes, their drinking, or drug use, failures, sex life, or job loss, when it comes to what it means to be a solid person in life, and live a full life, I think Im not alone in terms of people who are not criminal who live advanced lives and don’t talk about it, the point is if you are not good to others, then no one will want to be bad with you or rebellious, or have sex before marriage or be cool with you, this is why its so important to stay healthy and to be selective with your time and energy, who is worth giving your all to, maybe someone who doesn’t need you, versus someone who is relying on you, if not experienced, may become disappointed in you, or expected to feel the same way as you or those who have acheieved success removed form pain and suffering, or discord, or difficulty, I think no matter where you start, all things you learn are difficult to manage, including your feeling sand emotions about things you grow to dislike or be disappointed by, people will only feel good by what they like, and there is no changing that. So how can we “facilitate “psychological mattering” in schools (through acceptances? And how?). Students who feel like they matter—that they are important or significant to others—are less likely to feel isolated, ostracized, and alone.” Which club is the right club for thinking, the adult club of lawsuits and jail, harms, and crimes, money, and success, failure and greed, or are we taking things too far to explain life in terms of those loses? Inclined to simply for whom and why? Whats manageable? https://www.brookings.edu/blog/brown-center-chalkboard/2022/01/26/school-shootings-what-we-know-about-them-and-what-we-can-do-to-prevent-them/

Other Notes: When Helping Everyone, Leave Some Out Cold (Helping but Don’t Relate, Sensitivity or Conforming, Following Trends or Gut Instinct, What You Know by Training, Versus What You Hear, the Deficiency in Going by What You Hear, the Slow Down Going by Others, First Acknowledge What Can be Done, Would require there to be Rules for Engagement or Rules for Comprehension of Actual Threats, Versus Over Labeling Threats, To Ease Abilities. -Meaning its okay to not be well when others are, not feeling the energy is okay some people don’t function well on excitement I know Im someone with drive and focus, not excited easily. 

“Ultimately, our goal should be creating an environment in which school shootings never occur. This is an ambitious aim, and it will be challenging work. But addressing some key issues, such as mental health, will go a long way toward preventing future tragedies in our schools.” https://www.brookings.edu/blog/brown-center-chalkboard/2022/01/26/school-shootings-what-we-know-about-them-and-what-we-can-do-to-prevent-them/ (Define failure in your own words…) How has failure affected your faith, and what makes life challenging to go by more odds in life? And which odds in life do you attribute to the failures of others? Do you associate things not going right as by looking at someone or reading from someone inherited, or is there a larger more solid gravitational pull toward normal, that you can easily escape the grips of schizophrenia lets say, something I describe and medicated for, not difficult to hear? Why is that?

To-Do: Taking a Break and Work on a 3rd Draft Tonight Hopefully, Make a Good Impression

  • Prevention (Start Time: 10:22pm)

In a privileged recollection of what it was like on the Senate floor following the most recent attack on students, it was shared that the question of, “Why are you here,” he said to his colleagues, “if not to solve a problem as existential as this.” https://www.npr.org/2022/05/26/1101571302/what-schools-can-do-to-prevent-school-shootings -Things brings up the important point if whether a problem exists without comment or whether a comment is believed to make a problem worse or not help a subject. There are confirming facts which illustrate an identity not coordinated with others disclosed privately or publicly by details that if there is information that matches on your end either you or who’s watching you is made to believe that you are connected to someone criminal in your audience I think I did a great job of keeping track, I don’t think it happens that way, my first experience with thinning hair cut my hair got longer and recently attended an AA meeting the speak was a former hair stylist so that’s something in common thought based upon exposures and that’s how a reading can occur or for there to be something you’re thinking another is thinking without communication. The same can occur through reading either finding information you’re thinking find within a reading clarifies or to read something with expectation for something to be said and this is one of the beauties if reading. There is also being read and made to either think about and remember something you’ve written either to help you or inform you if something unclear and that can never be proven who is a fan or being investigatory so that’s the pitfall of writing it’s exciting to prove but not if you are situated to be attacked treated as insufficient or to blame inadequate or by your feelings guided if it’s believed you guide sexuality then that is one way that you are proven to be wrong as though you carry thoughts to see if others have them matching to attract and that’s a misuse of a gift when others are vulnerable to your wakefulness I’d assume you bear thoughts they don’t wish to inherit is the issue with sexuality modeling and writing I think I’ve always done a good job of going by the enthusiasm or mood or timing of a man.

Influences (10:29pm)

Where things are coming from matter whether to direct attentions away from suffering or to misjudge or recognize as something possible doesn’t mean that it exists that way or is the solution for suffering to make suffer in defense of others treat those suffering as bearing the weight or blame for blind sighting others toward solution I think solution behind the moment you become enthusiastic about helping and supporting others not allow or make happen to others sickness when it becomes your issue you might be more passionate about helping others rather than have to experience it yourself in order to qualify as a someone who would comprehend what an experience is like in crisis. To have no experience is better than to be prescribed a route in how to cope with mental health issues I just mentioned to myself that in crisis a guide is preferred to be given structured solutions to overcome panic but that would be limiting ourselves to comprehending crisis as an analogous situation to other world reknown crisis and as a overseer of the 90s news stories I compiled in a list that is just recipe for viewing life as just as susceptible to being “convinced” of unforgiving or unmanageable or unfixable conditions to die for which was a famous doctor case in which patients were allowed to die in the past I once warned my psychiatrist to make sure the meds I was taking promise me I’d wake up the next day.

Experiencing Pain Too Late

Sometimes you won’t recognize how you could have been harmed or on what merits anything hurts and when you mature overcome your own setbacks and fears that is you being allowed to be human again and to see the good in others, there are many famous cases of decendebts convinced to give up or let go or turn on family and im sure some humorous im aware of as a dependent. All of these concerns are relevant however not mentioned to be applied to my loves or cares in life the main pony is for no one to suffer similarly be misunderstood as having the answer to another’s anger is the quickest way to build resentment toward you or give credit or immunity to others convinced it’s the fault if your family how you were raised, your blogging, your sexuality, weight, grades, or degrees that you did not have to offer the innocence on a silver platter expected if someone of privilege who is deemed to view the world in a smaller way fearless because one is not accustomed to the harsh realities of an adult life that I was not exposed to, and while it’s cute now how couples lie to eachother to protect one another’s and play innocent it’s because that’s not how tough us made there must be a stronger element of drive in life other than to be proven important and it’s not by what you have to say or who you know protected it will be by love and acceptance if you as well as your ability to let go of what hurts or be able to cope on your own with pains in life in a constructive way, that people want to hear about. So a “risk assessments” (to blame the wrong people, accept blames, or defeat the timing of those putting up with silence and few explanations who is proud, go by who is proud feeling good) – In other words, Senate addresses the risk of creating content and find lines to how things occur like walking through your affirmations make occur like a weaker family or make look pathetic or guilty or mismanaged or disorganized and that’s not fair to my success online or mg law degree or the management of my body okay to show naked at 30 all white skinned still not purple skinned below. So how to gauge the likelihood of actual violence (this is putting people at risk for what they look like with expectation of used or communication of used to the next patron) for a … by a young person identified as a possible risk.” Ask #foxnews … was distaste viewable just looking at me did you see movement and imagery of sex or was I being good chaste? https://theconversation.com/5-ways-to-reduce-school-shootings-183965

Other issues not related to writing above … for tomorrows discussion … rest helps … 10:41pm now treadmill to lose weight Bc I’m schizophrenic. Not an excuse an embarrassing diagnosis! – 4th draft 08/21/22 👍

11:43pm, Experiencing a loss can be difficult for anyone, but trying to determine the causes and cast blames upon yourself makes things worse before things get better, and that’s how painful stupidity seems to be caused to parents, why kids who engage in addiction or get sick, are loved, but there will be a disappointment or pain to be faced with the grievance that one of their own turned to drugs or alcohol to cope with life, at any point in their life, when things were good or they had it good in life, this is something you don’t learn until you experience something painful and made to remedy it on your own without the advisement of others, just as you learn through punishment, that those connected fall asleep, the same goes for your connections in the real world if it is believed that you are not living a disciplined life affecting the health of others around you, putting yourself at risk of harm, or upon being known, not recognizing that responsibility that comes through acceptances of you, to be allowed into the lives of others, trusted to be heard as a source of inspiration, no matter how those thoughts come to you, later you will realize by title, accolade, how much you make, job possibilities, none of that will matter if it cannot be recognized, so make sure that the timing of your recognition is with all things in sight, as well as now we know, your personal maters, dealt with separately not through people you meet in life, or organizations it’s the worst feeling to ask for help or to disclose information about yourself that either doesn’t reassure or causes one to assume, that there is something wrong with you, and that disbelief builds, so if you are anywhere you deserve to be continue to prove that in ways that are approved, ad not go back to a more street way of living, being social by those who friend you, which only matter when you lose friends, or when they are the only ones who respond, either you are being judged by what you share, or those experiences are viewed as low life, or beneathe the expectations of others, either its you causing grievances to others a source of hurt or pain if you experience addiction, or you re a source of light in recognition of the sufferings of others, not going to lead a life, that excuses any pain you encounter later in life, which is not expected of you, if you can manage staying well, working, and maintaining friendships. So that’s the painful fact of building trust, either you put the effort in and recognize what is done for you, when others are nice to you, or you misinterpret it to be something else, and once you start along that path, you not only make people look small but you make yourself look small in the process if you don’t recognize what is done with love, or defense, you are wrong to assume that people are alive, working, diligent, to a tune against them, is not right. This is why its difficult to trust people with addictions or value, either they are easily mistaken as stupid, when tired, or inept because they seem like they are reading around them observant not focused on themselves, so that’s applying your instincts on around you, instead of keeping your instability to yourself, not draw others in, in the event you are probe to pain or not sleeping. So a valid “risk assessments t(when it comes to advocacy and addiction or modeling for that matter let alone sexual intercourse would be) to gauge the likelihood of actual violence by a young person identified as a possible risk.” https://theconversation.com/5-ways-to-reduce-school-shootings-183965 -Do you strengthen the decision making of others, or change, misdirect, complain when well, or hurt by your own realizations, this you cant make everyone go through, a bad day, if can be fixed, it slows everything down, emergency mode is best saved for when needed, not mismanaged energy on a good day, I guess thats why Im not allowed to run at night anymore. 

What you are okay by, does not mean you are immune to, and I learned this upon getting sick, or losing color in my face, by pressure or working hard on my writing, unless you have a job, either you are not stopping when its needed, or you keep going, at whos expense youre own which no one can be blamed, when there is no stopping point, and its defensive and it becomes about you, then its by what is harming you of issue, your own fault, if that’s what is thought of you, not included among those who we respect as a normal pain in life, doesn’t need to be explained. Anger following loss, is not something I experienced, but feeling tired, or overwhelmed and inconsistent, and then burning out freezing is something I went through, then not able to mak things better, people nice, when I was feeling weak, supported, but feeling like there was too much that I went through to be where I am, as though others may be affected by me having not done well, viewed as failing again in life in the same way mentally, non-performance. So no I will not drink Im sorry I did not take a couples photo, and it appeared as though I went out alone, I don’t drink. So to “prevent aggression (doing the opposite of what you are told or promise, creates resentment, whether that’s love or sobriety, friendship, or attention, is it too much when things are hard or by given value, then decide, when its okay for you to take a step back and not fight, or if its your place to inquire – show up to public court locations, talk) – Lesson is to not go by mental health issues then make people feel bad who assimilate or relate, can be painful to say you are one of a kind or like, insulted, so by teaching students to problem-solve (they can include themselves but not blame themselves) for better responses to peer conflict” https://theconversation.com/5-ways-to-reduce-school-shootings-183965

Will continue drafting the rest of this post 08/21/22 (5th draft) 12:07pm

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