I just found out that I got nominated for a Shorty Award in Best Special Project! The Shorty Awards honors the best of social media and digital, this is not my first time applying. When I started blogging I applied 2016 and was nominated for Best Integrated Campaign, at the time I did not have as much experience as I do now blogging and publishing written works, and think that in the time it took for me to apply again, I really grew as a person and as a writer. Graduated from law school, started working jobs again, and improved my physical appearance through running, more sleep, and staying positive loving again. 

Being included as a nominee is for the purposes of adhering to a standard which you rise to as an author, writer, social media personality, and it helps to push you in the right directions in life, when it comes to sharing your story, and helps to encourage you to interact with others and not be anti-social. I think the only difference between who I was then compared to now, is that Im not afraid to walk into a room of people like AA, or to date again post a profile on Bumble or Tinder, or send a text message, I think Im more proud of myself as I am now than I have been in previous years. I think a sole focus on memberships is what made blogging very stressful for me as a writer, I didn’t know how to talk about how much I cared and for what reasons, being a secondary victim of homicide myself, I know that’s hard to believe seeing that I went to law school anyways, but is important to know when gauging how I handle pressure in life. I have this innate ability to focus and to also ignore my surroundings, which proved to be a deficit later on in life, getting back to focus upon distraction, or insecure to what others think.

You wont always know what path to take in life, but its important to start somewhere. I think someone in my shoes would be networking and calling VC and raising money to build a start-up and that’s not my goal in life, I think my goal in life is to build something that people will visit and to hear from others not just myself, which was an original goal. Seeing that I had difficulty managing correspondences just as myself and being contacted by people wanted to guest-post blog, Im wondering at what stage in development does that become possible, and it could be a security issue, Im sure that Ive been stronger in previous years keeping track, and eventually disability has prevented me from building my website more, until recently, its something you need the time and concentration for, going to coding school was on my list of things I wanted to do in life, just needed the funds for it, thankfully recently I found courses on Udemy so look forward to registering and taking those courses and learn the basics, to develop my paper. 

This year was tough, on meds for schizophrenia, which left me feeling incapacitated, and also affected my thinking, from able to “no thoughts,” is what happened, I even mentioned at a psychiatry session how come I don’t feel like writing, why is writing difficult for me, it pretty much makes you concentrate only on surviving, I felt really depressed on the meds, and started taking an anti-depressant, along with losing my motivation to walk everyday, how I was before I took Invega and Clozapine, I was active, and positive, and loved taking selfies, texting, and blog. It completely changes your personality, not to mention your face, and gained 30-50 lbs on the med, which was not an enjoyable experience, you really get judged the bigger you are, judged as an overeater, or someone who doesn’t like themselves, Id have to disclose its because of the meds. Up until recently I was convinced that I would be on that med for the rest of my life, but have gone back to taking Geodone. That’s just me, enjoys working, gets panic attacks, gets overwhelmed easily, and needs alone time, and likes to work alone, not in groups, that’s just me. As a blogger you learn how to work with others, the only risk is that you have to be careful with who you surround yourself with, as that can cause a turn-off to others, or negatively impact your mood, or affect your stability, working hard is not really a time when you have the time to be close to others, nothing personal, but that is just how I am when Im focused.

By chance I decided to apply for this award, among all the awards that you could apply for, since it was the closest thing to the previous award I applied for. I didn’t really have the money to invest in applying, but went for it anyways, thankfully with a job, could afford the expense. And got nominated! Which isn’t for certain, and in previous years had not qualified because it was not for a company, these awards recognize what you do for others, not just yourself. That being said, I hope Ive empowered your creative spirit when you felt lost, I hope that you were inspired by my participation on IMDb to tell your own stories, I hope that my writing has been effective in encouraging you to produce material of your own, I hope that meeting me was a worthwhile experience, I hope that my experiences with mental health issues have inspired you to stay well yourself and not give up, and I hope that my friendships in life have made you value just that much more those around you who you admire and are apart of your lives. You only have one life to live to me means to live for the moment, to take things with a grain of salt, to not worry too much, to improve, to move on, and to be yourself and not worry what others think of you, doing that I became more of myself than I have been in years and to me that’s making a complete recovery from any others state of being in life, feeling less than yourself.