I just completed a life coach certificate in REBT on Udemy, following completion of a certificate in CBT which is a component of REBT. So what is REBT? It stands for “Rational Emotive Behavior Theory,” and for someone like me, distinguishing between voices, my own, versus an auditory delusion, this seemed helpful for at least me to begin with, and Im sure to others through interpretation of my writing, know whats being integrated into my work, and what Im learning as I write online, to improve my writing. 

REBT is an important tool we all can use to “helps you identify irrational beliefs and negative thought patterns that may lead to emotional or behavioral issues.” [1] When it comes to perfection, especially for those of us in business or working on something creatively, we have to be extra careful of whats communicated as well as account for in advance the reactions of others through their exposures in life, how will this make sense to people in different ways, and what can a provider of insight do a better job of identifying patterns for example that cause upset, how to talk about that upset in a productive way, not in a way that angers others. 

At times things will be peaceful, then there are those rare moments of chaos, whether that’s trying to meet a deadline, or maintain composure during mishap, or feeling under attack in life, whether that’s occurring in real life, or “delusion.” Life can’t be perfect at all times for everyone, then there is the competitive spirit by bullying or insulting innuendos, at what point should you stop yourself from becoming pi$$ed off by others infringing upon your happiness and attitude in life, it’s like getting a hug when you want to be left alone, love doesn’t always cure and isn’t always needed during times of upset, there is a more helpful approach to coping with anger and frustration, and it will occur upon getting your confidence in yourself back, whether lost to a negative reaction or attitude towards you, we inherit a lot in life through interaction with others, and it’s each of our responsibility to rehabilitate post exposures in life.

When you stop feeling happy for example, this can be a sign that “sometimes, irrational thoughts and feelings get in the way.” [2] Have you ever convinced yourself that a situation is much worse than it is, let alone convince yourself that people are saying things or doing things to you that they are not, what does that feel like. What does it feel like to be upset when another is completely normal, what has been taken from you, how can you get that feeling back, where you are focused intelligently, not in an angry way going about life pushing yourself to extremes, that’s bound to leave you feeling burnt out and frustrated in life, halted to a stop.

At the core of REBT it is recommended that we practice the following principles the ABCs, recognize what the “activating event is,” identify the “beliefs of irrational thoughts,” and c understand the “consequences or distressing emotions, resulting from those irrational thoughts or beliefs.” When the tough get going .. ever wonder why you feel held back in life, call it a bad mood or a bad attitude, but its your reaction to stimuli that is keeping you from living life, and trying to move forward ineffectively, things should alright, but you aren’t, and that’s okay. Sometimes we are ineffective in trying to cope when we try to keep everything in our head, we could forget a series of thoughts helping us, we can forget what it’s like to actually say out loud what it is we are feeling, we can lose track of what we look like in upset, and we can forget the power of writing and how it has the capability of carrying you out of a situation emotionally, hearing your thoughts on paper, and communicating your thoughts out in written form. 

One of the key ways to overcoming irrational beliefs or triggers is to “reframe” your thoughts, and this is how writing can help, I have always noticed, I could be feeling one way, but through running, or writing, I can feel a completely different way, what lowers your tolerance to stress and how does that affect your ability to get things done in life, I know its affected me. We have so much to keep track of in our own lives, its no wonder we are told not to worry what others think, be in control of your thinking, let go of the need to control what others think, and don’t be bothered by the deficits of others, have compassion, unless its your problem to understand why someone is giving you attitude of why they are upset with you, change or take a step back from situations and regroup. Don’t be afraid to leave toxic relationships in life, we don’t always match with everyone, everyone has their own issues in life, and its unfortunate that some take it out on you. 

Note that its not just you reacting and responding to negative events in life, and always be mindful of the heightened sensitivity to events especially as you get closer to the core of who is being directly affected. It seems like the easier you can take a step back from subjects, not connected to you, the less you run the risk of getting stuck explaining something that you are currently not experiencing while micromanaging someone elses rage toward you, as though youre supposed to have the answer to their problems in life. Fighting is an energy drainer and a time waster, so veer away from engaging with others combative toward you, maintain your peace in life. Instead the best way to help others would be to choose “beneficial” [3] ways of thinking in life, steering clear of triggering subjects, and to talk about life in a way that can help to enable others to also “choose more adaptive beliefs, emotions, and behaviors,” when it comes to improving the core, through what those not directly on the inside of subjects are doing for themselves to help make the world a better place, the more you allow things to affect you the harder it is to separate yourself from turmoil and the more likely you are to be triggered in times of burn out, having a clear head on your shoulders means that you are aware of the upset without upsetting, you are sensitive to others with compassion, and you are leading by example through your output, that allows others to think clearly too not feeling under attack as identified, or pointed out, or defensive to your instability or turmoil, that’s how everyone is able to take a collective step back from situations of combat, not ignite the fight. 

Reference:

[1] https://www.healthline.com/health/rational-emotive-behavior-therapy

[2] https://www.healthline.com/health/rational-emotive-behavior-therapy#principles

[3] https://www.choosingtherapy.com/rebt-for-anger-management/