Building a team is not a new concept to battling the goliath of reasons for which people decide to shoot others, we will never comprehend what is going through the mind of someone who chooses to take out their anger and anguish on another, I know that I would never understand, having not been in a single fight in my entire life, other than with love interests or people who were into me sexually.

Sex is a personal and a private matter and just because you don’t feel love or feel sick does not mean it’s the responsibility of who you are vying for attentions from, you are feeling sick because you don’t feel loved, and you are getting sick, because you think that another persons love will make you well, when its you that needs to feel well on your own you cant make people love you or give you love in life, especially if they are in a relationship with other people, then that much you have to accept that just because they are not in love with you, does not mean you are not worthy of love too. It just means its not a match.

Someone was obsessed with me, after sharing photos and talking online, and for some reason decided to turn on me and expose me, then pretended to love me, and act like he supported me when he was attacking me while I was applying for jobs and while my Dad was dying of Cancer, people who think theyre right, who are racist, think they are smarter than you, and who do not value you, your opinions, know how, and achievements online, will take out their anger and jealously on you, this person was married and has a son who also made fun of me online on Twitter, for reasons I don’t know, I was nice to your Father, that was his choice to reach out to me and talk to me, when I did not have any friends to talk to.

There were good moments and there were bad moments, overall I don’t remember any of it, except for what I saved, because Ive been through so much torment and trauma, that I cant even remember my own thoughts any more and keep track, and the hours are flying by, as though Im in a constant black out, blinking from one minute to the next day, or next month, time is flying by, and that’s very usual for me, as someone who used to live a very slow life, long painful days, at my worst.

So that’s mental illness, when you can’t go back to being who you were before you got hurt, and Im sure that’s frustrating to who Im dating now, difficult to approach me, seeing that Im going through a lot in life right now, not much else to talk about when so many things are going wrong for you in life, or when you fear others and are hearing voices, its been a hellish past year, and I gained 30 lbs, and felt tortured in my own body, and that doesn’t feel good to feel under attack in life, to be sent emails taunting you and for a person to be humiliating you online.

Im not the German to you baseball bat fantasy, Im not the Asian to your COVID vengeance fantasy, Im not the whore to you HATE on women who are loved, and Im not responsible for your anger and outrage toward me in life, for nothing that Ive said or done.

Movie: Inglorious Basterds (baseball bat)