I recognize if I get voices it takes 3 days to wake up and calm down and get through all the voices or causes for anger toward me and it’s not that I ignore people if it’s about my innocence or conduct or photos or who I like I’m not a homewrecker I’m disabled so I love people by messenger I don’t have sex anymore and recently struggled to date in real life so that’s a limitation I have it’s not a wear makeup to the nines shoulder trophy is not my goal I can attend Shorty Awards alone proud I’m coordinated now independent more than previous years but not in a bossy chin up way have never been that way I think video if my face does not perform well I remove otherwise I look like an angry person if I’m tired not video then video still frame makes me seem not feminine or upset toward takes many months off Invega to lighten up looking so I’m sorry. I don’t fight I’m not in lawsuits I was embarrassed I’m not embarrassing but if I’m overweight and no one talks to me then it’s an issue with something about me the blog is to get well not talk about others. I’m aware this is an issue I’m not the only one who struggles with look. I’m not complaining or unhappy if I sound cranky passionate that’s serious topic I’m not equipped mentally or physically to handle jokes but am starting to do my best within reason so my body may be intense writing it may read better than you think my body should be calm & it’s tired. It’s the stupid topic discussions that are not in longer pieces upset to discuss viewed as discomfort guilt or not thorough is not what I want to be made to seem as not smart or tired talking nonsense or language hurt myself pain and voices is something called schizophrenia. I’m sorry I self harmed I will never talk about self harm or suicide for the rest of my life. Start life cia king I think I’ve shared enough opinion been through and I’m sure likewise not discussed was equally hard for everyone. I recognize that life is about feeling good by I’m not out here writing thoughts random – if it doesn’t help why write that’s usual for me to not feel well for so long … it’s all real when well or looks not well and that’s not by hacking messenger or photos or my body health or age or guilt true or false. I’m not pretending like I’m well you can tell by my schedule. If I can’t sleep that’s not wrong. That’s I’m awake have a lot to say. Then break sing. I’m not mafia that was very traumatic I finally got to talk to my dad so that’s not obnoxious … I wish I worked didn’t have to stay home or get voices or hit my head talk to myself and I’m sorry if you think that’s mental illness not productive or schizophrenia. I shouldn’t be upset ever. New rule.