Everyone’s story is important, not one funnier than the next, or uninspiring, we all have had experiences in life that make us both unique and special. Recently a high horse was passed to me from Shorty Awards in the form of a nomination, and suddenly I felt thrust into the defensive, that took awhile to adjust, excuse my immaturity, I was probably going nuts on the inside over the fact that if I continue to do well, my Mom will fly me to New York this time to attend the awards, whether or not she comes with me, and that’s a huge change from me, coming from writing a book on my knees with my back to a wall, a FEMA Ideascale pitch I shared once, writing books, and of course recovery, not anything Ive not been through myself, and like many during COVID, writing became their passion, so many new books, that was exciting to see. When I think goals in life, I am always held back by the fact that I have difficulty finding jobs in the legal profession, this was the first year following graduation that I was able to get a paid job in law, a dream job, writing motions, that was my goal going into Law School to write motions in Civil Litigation, and instead found myself online writing (blogging) and in a style credited to The US Supreme Court, who shares “Opinions” the Law of the Land, but Im just one among many doing so, just without the same amount of Blogging Tips and Courses they have offered, that’s a later step to blogging, when you start teaching. I have just tried to start teaching while learning life coaching, its come time to start writing from something I have learned again, seeing that credentials and expertise seem to be the issue along with of the few social media feedbacks, the confusion over who I am online, who I am as a paralegal, law school, my photos, and what Im like in romantic relationships, it seemed as though a different version of me was portrayed which led to an even worse version of me hitting my head, Im not proud of that I think it looks stupid and grose to self-harm, and its not appropriate to judge people who do so, that’s no way toward recovery, if you have acceptance for the reasons why someone may self-harm such as: being ignored, rejected, hard on, shouted at, threatened, put under pressure, lied to, and criticized, then you would understand how hellish of a world it is when people are aggressive toward you as though you have done something wrong, to be in a state of mind where they see nothing but signs that say: stupid, is bad, grose looking, fat. Unfortunately I had to make my own signs online, which accurately represented who I am while helping myself (quotes) while helping others, and in some moments I was story telling, attempted to write an autobiography specific, and a general self-help book, and some creative writing in politics and news, but it changes with the day, just like a mood, what you feel up to and capable of, in this life, you will reach different moments of intellect in life, either you are exposed to things that bring you to places and thoughts in life, or you are far from understanding or comprehending an issue, and sometimes you are left in states of mind, which compromise your future and your good health and how you get treated by others. I think this canva card accurately represents the confusion over why I love Todd and how that happened, it happened after talking to him for a year, I then started flirting, and I don’t send sexy pictures, I have a handful of times, but its mostly just talking and getting to pretend to be loving toward someone who I admire, who is also a public figure, I know Im not quite there yet, but I feel like I relate more to public figures than simply an audience member, it’s a different kind of pressure, when you are creating, and then having to explain yourself and where you are coming from, along with what is the underlying thing you are thinking or story, whats governing what you are saying and I can tell you this much, when I am well like today I write better than a day when Im getting voices, theres something more beautiful to what you have to say on a good day, versus being influenced with negativity or under the influence of bad news in life, its hard to communicate the normal things in life, when the philosophy of a company or a movie, or a song, is being governed by anything running counter to what we feel well by that’s just how life works, you either know of someone and accept them, or you see them and reject them think youre smarter than them, that’s how life is and I guess I got tired of people being smart toward me or seeing me as stupid and thinking theyre better than me, and continued to blog anyways.