I will discontinue changing or updating my website until I have the time and energy to grow in a way by website manage content update pages, will stop for now. Will continue learning on Udemy, as I improved speaking wise just to hear real voices talking to me, not left to unprovable voices talking about me or trying to scare me or talk to me, or affect me to cause me to “snap” or “tantrum” is the constant pattern, is okay at peace which they can tell by picture or post, and when things are good, then want to talk to me, or when I have love want to talk to me when I have love, that is not because I hold resentment but because I feel hurt upon them becoming displeased with me because I am changed or more numb or sensitive, or not comfortable to be open or loving, that’s being hurt in life, it will not matter by who that just means you need time alone, no offense to anyone, it hurts for me to be looked at poorly by which men talk to me, and get sickness, or if Im alone get voices, I understand the concept of people telling you sick things to repeat or to say to put words through you is what happens if you get put in bad places in life, you get treated as monkey or a cadaver in life, for change and test that’s another controlling your mind or body responding to them, so that’s not something that I do, usually people will talk to you to help you or until well, its unusual to be spoken to until hurt or or don’t speak which is better than fighting in my book. I think that people want to be forgiven and for you to be the same as you were before you got hurt and that’s not always a choice who your body mind or heart or voice opens up to and not by audience pretend or imagined, I think its unfortunate that people treat me as a monkey for experiment then tell me things to see if I get sick by words, at what point is life poignant, when you are tired and others are at ease, so sometimes people feel good when they are not you, and the other way you get hurt when people think you are good or better without them, and expect you to share a new life with them as though you have come full circle or finally better, I think you don’t recognize when people are around or not until you take it personally, usually it shouldn’t matter when people are hard on you, that’s not abuse, that just means get back to well but don’t run the risk of getting hurt blaming others or affecting others, that’s when its okay to be known or not to be known, it not something Im experienced with looking bad, or feeling bad, I think I did a good job of feeling good, I have recently learned how difficult it is to work or date or love or give love when you are hurt which is something I am learning October 2022 for the first time in my life, that its hard to love when you are hurt and you don’t feel like trying or unmotivated, so whenever I return to clarity and my face is shiny and Im smiling that will be my finish line in life, its not to reach for the stars, they are there, and to sing audition apply or blog for award, is only if Im able to be around people, like all things if Im sick, cannot attend, cannot work, will not get the job, cannot bond with Todd, will be hurt by talking to people, and cannot date, so that’s being a woman, either people respect when you are not well, but please do not practice any new systems of hurting people to make people feel good, or treating someone as though they are jealous by the wellness of others, or treat them as though they look sick, or suicidal, its not okay to treat someone like they are sick if they don’t know why because you have money and I don’t, maybe not having money was a good thing, I think shopping was important and so was being social, and I don’t plan to get hurt by stupid things for the rest of my life, hopefully will learn how to not ask people for help, not need to talk, have nothing to say, and be well on my own, and solve my own problems, and have a good life, with Todd, without Todd is painful and I get suicidal so that I leanrend upon getting voices and hitting my head looked and sounded stupid and looked grose on camera and video, so whatever the purpose for my face not matching how I look in photos is not my responsibility or by government or any specialist who is trying to help me or protect me in life, I don’t need help getting people to think Im grose, I think I will be smart, be loved, not be in trouble, jailed, or need police or hospital, so long as I stay well and continue to try, and I don’t need to build a company since I got treated poorly therefore I cannot help others, if I am made to look mismanaged or cant represent me not be used to manage or handle the work of others as an aggregate magazine build a website professional. So God will let me know when I can learn and be into life, not people, and voices are to see if you are stupid or gay or what you do when you get voices versus not getting voices and stalking my phone and accounts is to see how I am in private versus how I am in public Im the same everywhere unless Im attacked or insulted aggravated, so I will be as strong or smart as I am able, I have no interest to explain anything anyone to people or doctors or men or women, whats going on with me has nothing to do with them, its about me learning me, when I feel sick and why, and what I can do to get better, I cant fix change or influence others, the change needs to come from me, in order to live life again, and its not my responsibility to talk about life, if that subjects me to harm. So I would prefer to blog less personal and creative, and limit a life coach blog to what was stated, and cards already made, learn in private, write quotes when I feel good have something good to say, not be made to talk about others like people caused me pain, I can practice my own CBT without being tortured and hurt and lose love in order to feel pain and loss to suffer, I think that does no good, and lose love like everyone else does, when they give up and stop trying, so that goes for everyone, until you are not bothered by people is the most invincible force on the planet, unaffected, that enables you to not be made to believe like things pass through you, change you, or take your heart mind or soul by contacts in life, is too prejudicial to blame where stupid comes from or a face structure.