Title: The Power of Acceptance 

By: Leslie A. Fischman

Written: 11-05-22

Introduction

It’s hard to diagnose a situation when you don’t feel like yourself. The best way to be of service to others and offer wisdom and insight in tough times, is to start with yourself. Accept all diagnoses, and work from where you are. You may not be proud of your past, there may be things that make you look bad or incompetent, but moving forward, is always in your control to do what is in the best interests of others. We all have character flaws and weaknesses, which may not make us the best interpreter of the times. The fewer problems you have the less you will be judged as being subjective or negative, and the more inclusive your writings will seem and feel to others. That is your value as a writer, how many can relate, how many can be helped, and how many are least affected by your inner turmoils or troubles in life, learn from your mistakes, and improve themselves. It’s called being selfless, that when you are capable of saying anything, you say the right things, and when you are capable of doing anything, you make the right choices in life. 

If you cannot provide a voice for yourself in the matter, like most people, we become reliant on others to objectively speak in a way, that gives meaning and life to the experience of life, not take away from all its glory and beauty. Sometimes we don’t even get that much in life, the benefit of the doubt or a firm belief in us, that we are capable of overcoming misinformation about us, and illustrate who we are underneath it all. The hallmarks of a public figure who has ever been made to be shamed or blamed for their successes in life. Success comes at price, for every mile you run, you have to run backwards twice, and for every bridge you build, you have to reinforce both sides to sustain its travel, and for every fight you emblazen yourself with, hope all come out the bigger person in the long run. Failure teaches you two things, never to give up and to keep going in life.

That’s leadership, able to do what you say, can show by good example, and then able to teach a way to be or outlook in life, from which others can succeed too. I may be the least likely person on earth to write a book about mental health and outlook or how to be a public figure, but here I am with all my scars and hospitalizations, telling you that you have the power to write the script, and you have the power to dictate how you are treated in life, and you have the power to change your story.

Not everyone will believe in you, you may have moments in complete disarray and ruin following failure or hospitalization, and half of it is your fault, whether you can laugh about talking on a payphone with no underwear on being dumped on a 5150 hold, after withdrawing from two finals in Law School to save your GPA. You are worth every bit of yourself to get well and to get better, even if it means you won’t be going home after two weeks and will be sent away to a Rehab for two months near Laguna Beach, this is my story, I wouldn’t share it, if it didn’t matter.

Chapter One

I remember being seated in a group therapy in Rehab 2011, and being told “you sure do like the sound of your own voice.” I was so insulted, I didn’t even want to be there, and didn’t think that I deserved to be there, for drinking or being prescribed 2 adderralls, when you can’t identify what the problem is with you, this is when you subject yourself to others telling you what your problem is in life, including Doctors, and the less of a say you have in sticking up for yourself in life. There can be a variety of factors that keep you from staying well in life, it could be pressure, it could be grades, it could be meds, it could be dating, you are responsible for your own stability in life, so start paying attention, when your auto-pilot stops working and you have to go by others, then you will have no one to blame for you disability or new found dependent status, so don’t wait until it’s too late to live your adult independent life. We were all meant to work one day, I still believe that.

There are so many stories of villains past, who have cultivated ideas through boredom, or excess access to resources, or been fired from jobs or believed in White Supremacy. Who have been identified as “schizophrenic,” so please excuse the shock I felt being compared to people who destroy lives and hurt lives, being a public speaker online, writing quotes and life advice. It’s shocking how dissimilar a person with mental health issues is from a person who is a violent extremeist who purchase guns and commits crimes against humanity, so why relate them? It could just be how you are misunderstood to memorialize the wrong things in life or events in life, that you become a person of negative judgement in life, meaning not allowed to think of destruction or losses in life and forced to focus on yourself. Seeing is believing, and like any other person exposing themselves to the wrong things in life or ideas, eventually these things and ideas become apart of you, so what will you choose to be led by moving forward. What you think, or what they think and why does that matter? When you become misled by negativity, its becomes about you paving a way to prove or reinforce a belief that runs counter to what other people think and believe, and taking such courses in life, will only lead to more mental disturbance and conflict, isolating yourselves from being apart of. There must be some neutral unit created on a moral basis of not contributing to any ideas for destruction, to allow for self-growth and focus that runs counter to the creation or reinforcement of bad ideas and archaic understandings of life, that teach to destroy not build for acceptances of different belief systems in life. We may not all agree, but that doesn’t mean that we all cannot thrive independent of one another, not create a toxic interdependency that requires people to assimilate with bad ideas, or be dragged into unwanted grievances in life, not be able to stick around for the many miracles in life, how much of life needs to be lived together, and how much of life do we get to live in peace apart, that much we each owe to ourselves, peace in solitude. 

Sometimes the more serious you are and conservative the more you are mistaken as someone who carries ideas that are not centered on being at peace with others. Especially if you are found to be alcoholic, sex addict, or drug addict, your disability is attributed to using, and your unhappiness or difficultly is viewed as something you have done to yourself, not something done to you by others. There are rare instances where you become a victim to beliefs that others hold, but that’s only if you allow yourself to be affected by what other people think. You always have an opportunity to think for yourself, and write from where you stand, and where you stand will always be different that where other people stand in life, there is no place in life where we each stand in the same place in life, no matter how similar you try to make people seem in life, alike, akin, influenced by.

Take from it what you can, people are only trying to make positive differences in the lives of others. And sometimes being told that there is something wrong or confusing about you and how you talk or speak, is what a diagnosis of “schizophrenia” is for. Its to explain for your disablement, it’s to explain for your inability to work or maintain a job, and it becomes an excuse for other people entering your life to stay away, or wanting nothing to do with you, they don’t believe you they believe the diagnosis, they don’t respect you, they respect the diagnosis, they don’t need you, they only want to read the script and go by what you have to say to all, this is how speaking in public serves as a benefit to those suffering in isolation, or left alone with many problems in life. 

Life is about being convincing. So if you can’t convince others that you are well, don’t waste anytime convincing them that you are sick. Be careful what you have to say past diagnosis, the worse things get the more of use a diagnosis of “schizophrenia” will be used to blame you as a negative influence or blame you for spreading a disease of the mind, taught is “genetic” coming from your parents, or in other words “influenced by” can be passed between people, who are not your parents. So now that we are put in a emergency state of being, it’s no wonder a person is made to stay away from all people, who would want to be close to anyone who is “diagnosed” with “schizophrenia” which cannot be properly diagnosed by blood, proven. How could someone like me who is a writer, be diagnosed with a condition of disorganization when I wrote a book, and wrote two websites, whats disabled and disorganized about that. I was thinking what is there about me that needs to be proven about me that this diagnosis makes it easier for others to think, think less of me I think was the point. Therefore if people are made to think less of me, and that was the goal, then why is my blog doing well, and why does my rank improve year after year, where is the sanity in that?

Sometimes battling mental health issues is about battling what others think of you, which I was never concerned with because I thought that everyone liked me online and only had positive reviews. So when things change for you, think why was this done to me, and in what way have I disappointed others with my content created by me that does not make sense to others. Disability doesn’t make sense, learning disability doesn’t make sense, schizophrenia doesn’t make sense, and this diagnosis I cannot relate to, but if it’s easier for people to feel that way toward you, then let them feel that way toward you, which is what a schizophrenic diagnosis is about. Its giving people the power to feel better than you, to waste no time concentrating on you, to feel hurt by you, to then judge you as the defective component of what they are feeling, be cured by exposure to you. That’s what a schizophrenic diagnosis is for, it’s to help others identify on how not to be in life. So as a writer excuse me for bearing the weight of having to be a person not to be like in life, considered a bad influence, how that was caused to make others feel better, is to confuse what a good life is about, what you have done and said, people have said worse, or how you look? People have done worse things to their bodies and faces than I have ever done to myself. Then what’s the anger about. It’s that you have been given a diagnosis and you are still nothing, no one, and no one can pin-point at what point you have made a positive influence, and you are being used as a source of blame and for confusion in others, being labeled a spreader of disease, not a founder of positive insights.